To still be shaking six hours later?

[onetwothreethreetwoone]

I nearly had a head-on collision today.

Driving along a narrow, winding country road this afternoon, with DP in the front passenger seat.

I turned a blind corner, slightly uphill, and all I could see was this car right in front of us, fully on the wrong side of the road, hurtling towards our windscreen at full speed.

I don’t even remember what my thought process was. I didn’t have time to swerve out of the way, or to register if there was traffic coming from the opposite direction that I needed to avoid. I didn't have time to think at all, really. All I knew was the car was going to hit us anyway, and if I swerved to the left the car was going to go straight into DP, and if I swerved to the right it was going straight into me. As it was, I did an emergency stop. The other driver must have braked too, because the car came to a stop about three inches in front of mine. By some miracle they didn’t even touch, but it was so so so close. I don't even want to think about what could have happened. I feel sick.

As soon as I registered that we were ok and no one was hurt I remember screaming ‘WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!’ and the other driver sort of stared at me through the windscreen. He eventually held his hand up as if to apologise, backed up a little and pulled out into the correct side of the road.

I wound my window down to try and talk to him and he just sped off.

I pulled into a lay by less than a mile away and cried. DP wanted to report it, but we only had the first two digits of the registration plate, and the colour and type of the car, not an exact make/model. I wish I'd got more info, but we were honestly just in such a state of shock at the time. I did call 101 once I'd calmed down and explained what had happened, and passed on as much info as I could. Gave a description of the driver, too. I’ll never forget that face as long as I live. I'd be astounded if anything comes of it, though.

It’s been six hours and I’m still shaking. I can see the car hurtling towards us every time I close my eyes. Please tell me to pull myself together... I can't stop crying. I'm quite level-headed usually but I've honestly never had such a fright in my whole life.

I have had a few close calls in the years I have been driving, it’s pretty scary.

I can’t beleive how people take such risks.

The other week I was driving in the rain on a dangerous, narrow, windy piece of road. I was going carefully as I know the stretch of road.
A car came round the corner towards me on my side of the road. I drove up onto the bank on my side, right off the road itself and the car still hit me on my side.

My car was written off, my puppy very shaken and the driver was profusely apologetic - admitted straight away it was his fault etc. I didn’t get cross or keep going over and over it - what’s the point? It’s happened......... I think what I’m trying to say is just accept that it happened, no one was hurt and just be grateful you have a vehicle to continue driving in.

I had no car of my own for 2 weeks and have had to purchase a new one which I can’t afford to do - I live very remotely - nearest reliable bus service is over 5 miles away and I’m self employed so lost a lot of work.

As an aside, the insurance company is now pushing for a 50/50 fault even though I had to drive right off the road itself to get away and still got hit! Sometimes life’s just not fair.........

Thank you everyone 

@OlennasWimple we're visiting family this weekend and need to drive tomorrow, so I'm going to make sure I do! It's that old saying about getting back on a horse once you fall off isn't it?

For now I'm focusing on getting a decent night's sleep... and will buy a dash cam this week! I was thinking of getting one anyway and what happened today has made my mind up.

I’ve had a couple of very close calls too. It does shake you up, anything like this (that’s potentially very serious) generally would.
If you’re not ok tomorrow then get out and use up all that excess adrenaline, that’s what’s making you shake. If you’re still up (and able) then I’d drag your partner out and go for a decent walk. Anything to use it up.
I promise you will feel a little better after that.

This sort of thing happens to me every bloody week. Its just human error. Move on.

It is fine to still feel shaken , be kind to yourself and be proud of the fact that you had lightning quick reactions to avoid what could of been a very nasty crash.
Please make sure you go out for a drive tomorrow so that driving does not become a fear that grows . As soon as you feel safe to do so drive up and down the same stretch of road a few time so that it is not a issue any longer .
If in a few days time you still feel shaky when you get into the car book yourself a drivers refresher course or advanced driving lessons to build your confidence back up .
But for now have a glass of wine a soak in the bath and some warm milk to take to bed and try to get some sleep .

Your quick reactions probably saved the lives of yourself and your DP.
Not everyone would have been as quick thinking in the same situation. We’ll done OP.
Just be kind to yourself, you’re bound to feel shaken up
and the ‘what if’s’ will keep popping into your mind for a good while yet.
The dashcam suggestion that other posters have mentioned sounds an excellent idea.
I hope you feel better soon.

Not surprised you are shaken up OP. Hope you get a good nights sleep. I only passed my test this year, on my first solo motorway trip the trailer being towed by the car in front lost a wheel. I can still see it come bouncing towards me! It hit my bumper & went under my car, luckily i was able to pull straight onto the hard shoulder. Am so glad it didn't come through the windscreen. Thankfully i got towed to the garage where my DD works & she gave me a huge hug as soon as i arrived, then took me back to hers for food and a v large g&t. The other driver did not even notice until other drivers flashed their lights at him! His insurance paid for all repairs plus hire car for 2 weeks.

I had a shock when my DH came very close to being killed by a freak accident some years ago, and I couldn't stop shaking and crying for the rest of the day. Even though he was virtually unscathed, I just kept replaying the horror of what almost happened and thinking about what could have been. It will pass OP, I promise.

Cry all you want. I am glad that you are planning to drive tomorrow. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks (was a passenger in a similar near accident a few years ago) . You might find you get shaky or upset in a few days time. Take care of yourself.

Two years ago my daughter was on her 3rd/4th solo drive when a delivery van was in the wrong lane and sideswiped her. A young 21 year old new driver he decided to tell her it was all her fault that she had went into his lane. Buggered off when he knew her boyfriend was on his way leaving her on the phone to me in tears. All his fault but because the company he worked for and her insurance company were the same they pushed for 50/50. She’s only driven twice since and with another driver in the car. He took her confidence and she’s still not driving. I hope karma kicks his ass 😡

I think it's totally normal and everyone saying about the effects of adrenaline etc are perfectly right.

We witnessed a bad bicycle accident coming up the road to our village nearly 2 months ago (I only know the date because we were bringing baby DS2 home from hospital at the time!) I still shiver and run through it in my mind every time we pass the spot in either direction, and there's only one road into the village.

If you feel like it a good shag might help convert some of that adrenaline into oxytocin for you and/or help you fall asleep. DP can't be feeling much better either.

Sounds horrendous I’m not surprised you’re in shock

DuchessStabby, not your call to make, to decide how long other people need to grieve/heal.

Doesn't sound to me like a "near miss", it sounded like a "near death" and I'd be shaken up for days/weeks!

The same thing happened to us on Mother's Day 2017. We had both adult DCs in the car, it was a Sunday afternoon and we were going for a late afternoon walk in the countryside after dinner.

I was driving as were going to the pub afterwards and DH and adult DS planned to have a couple of pints each. I was able to pull onto the verge and narrowly avoided crashing into a brick wall, by braking like crazy.

The car on the wrong side of the road was an ancient Corsa with two teenage boys in the front. Our DCs got the registration number and we reported this to the Police. Four adult statements were taken and the CPS said there was not enough evidence to prosecute the young driver.

If we had had a dashcam, the evidence would likely have taken the chav in the corsa off the road.

I still have nightmares about it but we are all still alive and you too will get over it. It sucks that there are so many crap drivers around.

I'm very impressed by your quick reactions. I am sure mine wouldn't have been.

This sort of thing happens to me every bloody week. Its just human error. Move on.

Yeah, right

This sort of thing happens to me every bloody week. Its just human error. Move on.

May I suggest that if you're having near accidents every week whilst driving it may be you that's the problem?

We had similar. Got it all on the dash cam. Led to prosecution.

I live down a narrow country lane with blind bends and see first hand the driving of some people every day.

Not having a go op but what speed were you doing?

Anyone who lives round my area drives at a maximum of 15mph until they get out onto the main road because you cannot see round a bend or who is coming down the road and there is only one lane with passing spaces.

A couple of years ago a guy was driving around the lanes doing 80mph + Showing off in his new sports car. Police were called but were too late.
Fortunately he only killed himself not anyone else.

If you had got the reg then the police wouldn't have cared or done anything, no damage to people or property, there's nothing to do. If the cars had come together slightly but no injuries then they wouldn't care or do anything unless the road was blocked, they don't even attend. It's a civil matter. They only produce a report if there's injury.

Near misses are scary and it's normal to feel shaken. Your reaction is a bit extreme though, these kinds of incidents are just part of driving and happen thousands of times a day.

This sort of thing happens to me every bloody week

It REALLY doesn't. Unless you are the shit driver on the wrong side of the road.

At least you were both going slowly enough to stop.

Hope you managed to get some sleep.

I think it's totally normal to have that reaction. You may find that you don't sleep very well for a few days too.
Look after yourself and as you said earlier 'get back on the horse' as that will help.