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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you need to be dunked to learn how to swim...

43 replies

guiltynetter · 20/10/2018 21:35

My DD has just turned 4 and loves going swimming, she went to swimming lessons for around 6 months with her nursery when she was 3. however she HATES getting water in her eyes. She doesn’t mind the occasional splash but going underwater is something she gets really upset about.

For 4 weeks now we’ve been going to a new swimming pool for lessons. the lessons are for beginners. the teacher seems fine and she really loves the rest of the lesson but they get dunked (as in, fully submerged underwater) twice per lesson. my DD cries every time, as do 2 of the other children. Now she’s started saying before every lesson that she doesn’t want to go, crying and really upset because she doesn’t want to go underwater.

Is the dunking essential to learn how to swim and would i look like a soft parent if i asked them not to do it? i know if they didn’t do it she’d be excited about the lessons.

OP posts:

TheDowagerCuntess · 20/10/2018 21:40

I've never heard of that.

DD hated getting water on her face when she started out, so the teacher let her go at her own pace.

Why on earth would you want to put them off learning to swim.

Can you call up outside of the lesson and speak with the co-ordinator about it?

HarveyNickNacks · 20/10/2018 21:43

Nope. I was a very nervous swimmer but was trying hard. Then I got forced to dive into the deep end at the pool during a school swimming lesson. I am still fucking traumatised by that. I'm 51. I don't go anywhere near a swimming pool.

Dunking sounds fucking cruel. Listen to your daughter. Don't make her go back.

twinkydink · 20/10/2018 21:45

As a swimming teacher I would never dunk a child of that age. they can chose to fully submerge as part of various activities but I would never forcefully dunk them. I would encourage them to get their face wet and get used to having water splashing them from above. while working up towards getting sinkers from the floor or jumping in and completely submerging.

What you are describing just sounds like a recipe for making a child more nervous and unlikely to want to carry on lessons!

StarbucksSmarterSister · 20/10/2018 21:45

Sounds ridiculous to me, I wouldn't be happy. You want her to be happy and confident in the water, not scared. Take her elsewhere.

snowpo · 20/10/2018 21:45

Oh no, I would change lessons/teachers. I've heard of that before with really young ones but why do it if it upsets them so much? It certainly won't give them any confidence. Ours didn't have lessons until they were about 5 but we took them ourselves from the age of 6 months once a week. They were incredibly confident, blowing bubbles, jumping in etc. I would never have dreamed of forcing them to put their heads under. Certainly not needed for them to learn to swim.

Pepper123123 · 20/10/2018 21:45

I've had a similar issue with my DD.
She began swimming lessons a few years ago. She's a very timid child, so when the instructor told them they had to jump in the deep end, she did it rather than refuse...as I imagine most children would.

Since then she's seemed to have a fear of not being able to touch the bottom of a swimming pool.

She still can't swim, and I believe the lessons are part of the reason for it. She's too nervous now.

Nacreous · 20/10/2018 21:46

I swim for literally miles at a time and I still hate getting water in my eyes. Those swimming lessons sound horrible tbh. Can she wear goggles?

RedDrink · 20/10/2018 21:48

I took swimming lessons as a child after a few near drowning incidents, being dunked would have terrified me.

I wouldn't ask them to stop dunking, I'd sign her up for lessons with instructors who don't dunk in the first place.

Seniorcitizen1 · 20/10/2018 21:48

I have been able to swim for over 50 years and my head never goes under the water. My dad taught me to swim - he couldn’t swim himself - and dunking never part of the lesson. If it had been would have stopped.

snowball98 · 20/10/2018 21:49

Is it just in her eyes, does she wear goggles? You can get some that are almost like a mask.
But if it's putting her off the lessons then i would say something, because better she does it without going underwater than not at all. It will come as she gets more confident.

eurochick · 20/10/2018 21:50

That sounds awful and a way to put her off swimming for years to come! Can you find different lessons?

Chalkhillblu3 · 20/10/2018 21:50

Change lessons. This is no way to teach swimming. I wouldn't like to be dunked underwater without goggles and I am a bloody good swimmer.

moredoll · 20/10/2018 21:50

I don't think that's a good idea. I think the idea is to encourage them to put their faces underwater, not to force them.
If your DD is crying before lessons I think that's an unacceptable level of distress, especially for a pastime that should be enjoyable.

Chalkhillblu3 · 20/10/2018 21:51

And scuba diver!

Original poster

guiltynetter · 20/10/2018 21:51

thank you for these replies they’re making me feel much better. i thought i might be jumped on for being a precious parent! i’ve bought her some goggles that have helped with some of the other activities they do (for example they encourage them to blow bubbles with their face partly in the water) but the don’t help with the dunking!

OP posts:

AdaColeman · 20/10/2018 21:54

I've never heard of dunking a small child, it seems guaranteed to frighten them.

But I agree that they should start getting used to having their face wet. That's usually done sitting down in the shallow end, and perhaps splashing them a little bit in the bath if practical, not dunking them though.

MaHeidsGouping · 20/10/2018 21:54

My 6yr old hated getting his face wet, wouldn't even attempt to try going under. The teacher told me he'd be stuck on stage 1 if he wouldn't do it. I stopped his lessons and after 5 one-to-one he can go under water.

If he had been dunked then he probably would have been scared of the water for a long time.

frogsoup · 20/10/2018 21:56

No way! I have a DD who got phobic of getting her face underwater after an accidental dunking. She had one teacher who told me the only way she'd learn was having water splashed in her face I stopped those lessons before any further damage was done. Six months later we started up again with new teacher who within 45 minutes had dd happily with her head underwater! Miracle worker she was!!

Original poster

guiltynetter · 20/10/2018 22:01

i agree she needs to get used to getting water in her eyes but i’ve not got much hope for it, ive tried in the bath every night, but she’s so scared!

OP posts:

Poodletip · 20/10/2018 22:03

Absolutely not! Persuaded to put her own face in yes, but not dunked!

Poodletip · 20/10/2018 22:05

I'd stop the lessons for now. It sounds like they're only putting her off. Try and get her playing blowing bubbles in the bathwater and take it really slowly so she's comfortable. Then find somewhere a bit kinder for her lessons.

Chalkhillblu3 · 20/10/2018 22:08

Meantime you could let her play with the goggles on in the bath, just for fun.

Original poster

guiltynetter · 20/10/2018 22:12

the thing is this swimming school came highly recommended by 3 people i know! so i think it must be good, but maybe their kids just don’t mind going underwater.

OP posts:

imip · 20/10/2018 22:18

No, don’t dunk if they are not happy. I have 4 dc and all have been in lessons when they wee supposed to dunk. I never did, they were never happy. Now at age 11,10,8 and 6, they are all good swimmers for their ages, but very reluctant initially to go underwater.

What did it for us was getting them to shower, and then bath, in their goggles. By about 6,they were all underwater. Older two are very good swimmers that could swim about 200m. Not bad given their have SEN (one mild, the other reasonably challenging with an EHCP).

arethereanyleftatall · 20/10/2018 22:23

I'm a swimming teacher and I don't dunk if it doesn't suit the child.
But, I will say, those who are happy to submerge will progress much quicker, because of body position (head down means legs go up, flatter on water), so I spend a lot of time encouraging children to submerge.

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