Morning after pill didn’t work- advice on planning for a baby financially

[MissLynds]

Hey,

So myself and DH had an “accident” one night and I headed to the pharmacy the next morning to collect the MAP. 3 weeks later (and a week late) I took a pregnancy test.... I’m now 6.5 weeks pregnant. Having the view point of due to travelling, we only had sex once during this time, used the MAP and I’m still pregnant I’m going for “it was meant to be approach”. DH is supportive and whilst we’re not financially ready for a baby, it seems like he/she was ready for us. My question is whether anyone has advice on how to plan financially for a child? We live in Surrey (rent and household bills combined cost us £1600) before phone bills, car insurance etc so we physically can’t survive on one wage, despite both being reasonably well paid. Has anyone else had to cope with a deficit of income vs bills, how have you done it, how much can I expect a baby to add to my monthly costs and any advice on how to try to save before hand would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

Don’t buy to much stuff, my son wasn’t particularly big when born but he grew quickly so hardly wore some of his stuff and I didn’t buy loads anyway because I made that mistake with my daughter. Once people know you’re pregnant they might start offering things because they want rid and it’s easy to pass it on. I managed to save some money meal planning and ordering online so I wasn’t tempted at the supermarket.
And I agree with anotherday, I know it’s a long way off but co-sleeping is very risky. I used a Moses basket for about 2 months till he out grew it then our cot turns into a toddler bed so will last a good few years.
Good Luck with everything.

Joining in the chorus of childcare is the only real expense. Join local Facebook groups - you’ll be amazed how much is being sold much cheaper than ebay or even given away free.

If you have a spare bedroom, monetise it now if you can while it doesn’t have a baby in it

Also look into cloth nappies: you’ll save a fortune and I actually found the laundry burden went down when I started on cloth, because they’re much better at containing squirty newborn poos than disposables are. Now have enough that I only wash every 3 days along with the baby’s clothes, which means I’m only really doing one more wash a week than if I was using disposables (since I would probably be doing one baby-clothes wash a week anyway). I built up my nappy stash gradually, using some disposables until I had enough cloth, so that it wasn’t such a big expense all at once.

Research nurseries now: where we are they’re cheaper than childminders and the cheapest ones have massive waiting lists. Get on a waiting list of one you like even if you don’t think you’re going to use a nursery.

Buy almost nothing in advance: you have no idea what kind of baby you’re going to end up with, so it’s hard to know in advance which things will be completely unused and which will turn out to be sanity-savers. The only things you absolutely need in advance of the birth (baby-wise) are: one way of transporting the baby, one place for the baby to sleep, one week’s worth of nappies and several days’ worth of babygros. And a car seat if you’re having the baby in hospital and planning to travel home by car (actually probably a good idea even if you’re not planning to have it in hospital).

If you have a car and are both able-bodied, consider whether you need to keep it. Having said that, you may be fairly immobile for a few weeks after the birth, and you won’t be able to put the baby in a bicycle seat until at least 6 months (may be more like 9). But apart from 2 weeks postpartum when some very kind friends lent us their second car while my third-degree tear healed we almost never miss having one (but we’re in London which makes it easier).

And congratulations!

Write a fully itemised list of incomings and outgoings. You might be surprised the things you’re spending too much on, areas where you could save tenners here and there which adds up to a lot each month. I remember my friend panicking years ago about baby/money, but once we went through every bit of her finances she was pleasantly surprised that they would actually be fine. What can you reduce down? What’s everyone’s take home pay? What are you thinking of buying for the baby and what’s your projected budget for baby essentials?

Try to save every penny you can, don't worry about second hand clothes they only wear it once (I washed and rewashed in case there was any damp or smoke), don't worry about designer gear, expensive prams break so do cheap ones and they both have their advantages and disadvantages. Don't bother with a baby book or mile stone cards unless you are ridiculously organised, you will forget all about it once babies here. Go swimming and find a good antenatal class, and go to NHS birthing classes if they have them in your area (I know they are disappearing a lot though). Side sleeper cots are a godsend if you breastfeed, but Moses baskets are uncomfortable and mostly decorative mine either slept in my arms, their cot or their car seat/baby chair (though they can't be in them too long) or the pram. Maternity clothes aren't really worth it, but maternity bras are (I still wear the one I bought with DC1 and she's in yr1 now). Don't feel bullied to breastfeed or not, do what's right for you (although colostrum is wonderful stuff so worth considering giving just that even if you want to bottle feed). But everything in neutral colours, even if you find out the babies gender. Sometimes they get it wrong. Take your folic acid, or a good prenatal vitamin and buy a big Pilates ball because by the end that's the only thing you'll feel comfortable sat on and they are cheap and great during labour (they pump up and down with a bike pump type thing but most hospitals have them anyway).
Oh, and don't stress too much about the odd coffee or can of coke or whether or not your drinking too much sugar free lilt or not drinking enough milk, try to eat healthy and cut down caffeine but also cut yourself some slack!

Try to pay down any debts
Ask for money towards baby things for Xmas and birthdays
Look into your maternity package at work to see how much deficit you will be in per month
Start thinking about childcare costs now and planning what you will do when you return to work
So much second hand stuff can be found on gumtree etc. The only things you must buy brand new are mattresses and car seats

Good luck. If everyone waited til they “could afford a baby” they’d never have one

I have a MAP baby 😉

Most baby stuff can be brought second hand and new borns really don't need much anyway.

Save as much as possible.

Congratulations 😊

Buy a cot that transforms into a bed. You can even hack it to transform it in a “next to me” cot.

Do not buy too many clothes (my DD is 2 months old and is now wearing size 6 months ). Wait until baby is there to see how fast he/she grows.

Apart from mattress and car seat, everything can be second hand.

Mat leave wasn't so bad, it was more the nursery fees that are so painful!

I wish I'd bought a second hand travel system, instead of an expensive new one.

We bought a second hand next to bed crib and bought a new mattress. We were given an old cot, again bought a new mattress.

I know some people above recommend getting a cot that changes into a cotbed. That's up to you. We went straight from a normal cot at 2 and a bit to an adult height single bed with no issues. We just bought a bed guard so she can't fall out.

It’s amazing how much stuff gets sold in almost new condition so another vote for second hand. There will be some things you need to get new (like mattress) and probably a few things you just want to get new but a lot of the big stuff can be second hand. My oldest was in his Moses basket for 2 weeks and then went into a cot bed which lasted till he was 5 - he was a big baby. Can you borrow a Moses basket?

Like others have said the childcare is the killer but make sure you sign up to get the tax deductible amount you are entitled to and see if you get anything through tax credits.

I found that I spent less when I had a baby because I just didn’t have the same nights out and quite honestly I was happy staying in for quite a long time. When we socialise it’s more having people over than it was before babies. This is all aside from childcare though again!

Congratulations