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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A simple wedding for us 60 yr olds ❤️

46 replies

Palava57 · 20/10/2018 12:33

Getting married for the first time & OHs second. Probably about 50-60 guests. Would love some ideas to make it simple but memorable...

I just can’t make this a massive project as we both work long hours

Also I have searched through SO many wedding dresses & nothing seems anywhere near suitable - all too frothy or princess for me. Some of the 50s styles a possibility though I’m not sure I’m slim enough 😏

OP posts:
Fibbertigibbet · 20/10/2018 20:24

Absolutely, wear what you like! I don't think it's weird or try hard to wear something you look lovely and confident in, regardless of what that is.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I'm sure you will have a wonderful time!

Bluelady · 20/10/2018 20:26

Ffs, it's only an opinion! I think you should wear exactly what you like too.

cleanhousewastedlife · 20/10/2018 20:41

The most important thing to remember is that you don't HAVE to have any of the things that some people think you do. For example - a seating plan for the meal. We had pie and mash from the pub, there were enough chairs to sit on and everyone sat! No stress over who to seat where. We didn't do things in the 'right' order either, we had ceremony, then tea and cake and speeches, then a bit of time off (papers to read, games for the kids) then dinner then dancing. All super laid back. Great fun. Only bother doing the bits you want to! And congratulations- I hope you have a lovely day and a long and happy marriage.

Cuddlykitten123 · 20/10/2018 20:49

If you are not worried about it being a 'proper' bridal gown maybe book a personal shopper appointment in one of the big department stores who could help you find lots of lovely things to try out

I would totally go village hall with lots of cute decorations, a band, endless bottles of fizz and a hog roast or food truck type thing in the evening

PurpleWithRed · 20/10/2018 20:56

We got married in our 50s. For gifts we gave people the name of a charity we both supported and/or a nice bottle of wine for us (not to be drunk at the wedding - we provided all the booze anyway). Really enjoyed every single one of those bottles of wine.

KC225 · 20/10/2018 21:56

puzzledandpissedoff Wow, those dresses in the links you posted are just stunning.

Congratulations OP.

Sparklesocks · 20/10/2018 22:00

Congrats OP! Flowers

Some great ideas already. I would suggest just going with your heart and doing it exactly how you like. Wear what you please and feel comfortable in, have tasty food and nice wine and dance the night away!

DamnWhyAreAllTheUsernamesTaken · 20/10/2018 22:56

To all those saying don’t wear white.... seriously?!??

OP, where whatever you wish, you will look beautiful and I hope you have a wonderful wedding day and marriage.

I’d suggest flat shoes ( nice sandals?) to accommodate all the dancing, and if you hire a dj make sure you give him a preapproved list of songs to play!

Kr1stina · 21/10/2018 10:36

I can’t do high heels either so I would wear a sandal or shoe with a block heel. They are very easy to find in nude or silver if you wear white / ivory / cream.

For my own wedding I wore white satin dance shoes from Rainbow and dyed them purple afterwards.

Annandale · 21/10/2018 10:50

Bring and share meals are always fantastic - you do need to allocate main, veg/salad, pudding though. Means you can say 'no presents, bring a dish' and people feel ok about the no present thing.

A friend had a register office ceremony one day and the party the next; rounders and footie in the village hall grounds, then everyone changed into clotges bought from a charity shop (her alternative to presents) for an amazing bread/cheese/salad based buffet (lots of other options) and dancing.

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/10/2018 11:13

I think you should wear what the fuck you like. You are 60 not 90 You should wear what you like, even if you were 90!

PlainVanilla · 21/10/2018 11:19

Shibumi do beautiful silk clothing, dresses, coats etc.

Kr1stina · 21/10/2018 11:21

You misquoted me MereDint . I said

I think you should wear what the fuck you like

You are 60 not 90, you are in your prime

BlueJava · 21/10/2018 11:25

Maybe something by Jacques Verte? I'd think a "Camilla" style dress for the wedding with Prince Charles. Not all bride dresses need to be white and traditional imo.

Original poster
Palava57 · 21/10/2018 18:41

Puzzled I can see that dress & the roses in my imagination 😊 Soft/pale purple silk? I might have to try draw it to get it made....

And love the idea of sports day activities! Thanks Annandale (is yr name a Steely Dan reference?) We actually have the village sports ground over the back fence so if it would be free that day it would be fab

OH now says not keen on church wedding so we might investigate a couple of historic venues nearby - though I won’t be able to walk the 5 miles that means in a frock & heels 😂

I will have to invite one person who judges me - my elder sister - but she doesn’t have any power over me since a long time 😊

OP posts:
SchnitzelVonKrumm · 21/10/2018 18:46

Friend recently married for the first time in her 50s, she wore a kind of smokey silver colour - looked amazing.

Original poster
Palava57 · 21/10/2018 18:50

I will look at Shibumi thanks (never heard of them before) & all the previous dress links. Yes I was thinking fab dress (even if white/ivory) rather than wedding dress. I’ve not worn white since junior tennis so a bit worried I’d look huge. I did like the pale blue Camilla had but will maybe go for a stronger colour which is more me.

And yes - we don’t need more ‘stuff’ between us(!) - so the sharing afternoon tea would be in lieu of presents. Though I might go for the bottles of wine idea too 😊 as we like that a lot

I’d want something hot for the dinner & I’m sure the local caterer can do us something simple but lovely maybe a hog roast....

You have all contributed such fab ideas that I feel it’s beginning to take shape with very little effort on my part 😊 OH is going to be so impressed at all my ideas 😂 😂 😂

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/10/2018 22:01

I can see that dress & the roses in my imagination

I thought you might Wink Personally I'd rock it and go with a vibrant, even Cadbury purple rather than something pale. You are after all the bride and should stand out, but don't listen to me - I love bright colours!!

I agree that if you want something other than white or ivory you may need to get it made, but that's no bad thing as you'd get an absolutely perfect fit. What's your position on type of fabric, neckline and sleeves?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/10/2018 22:26

By the way, you might enjoy this ... it's quite fun to play around with and helps inspire a few ideas, though irritatingly it doesn't have a tea length option:

www.weddingdresscreator.com/wedding-dress-creator.php

mumsastudent · 21/10/2018 22:34

John Lewis or Debenhams both brilliant for Dresses

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