To feel slightly put out

8 replies

LunasPaws · 20/10/2018 09:13

Morning all!

I'm just wondering whether or not this would annoy any of you because I feel slightly put out by it.

We have a DD (2 yo) and my parents live about 40 mins away. They very rarely make the effort to come visit us, I'm talking once every 6 months if we're lucky. It's always us going to them.

Yesterday my DF messaged me asking what we're doing today. I said really sorry but DH is taking DD to see some of his family and I'm staying home as I have work to do. I asked could they come Sunday instead?

DF replied that they'd come another day instead. I asked why Sunday wouldn't work and he said 'footy is on sky'.

AIBU to be slightly annoyed that my parents won't come to see me because DF would rather watch footy?

OP posts:

Finfintytint · 20/10/2018 09:18

Well at least you know where you stand with him.
Can you do a surprise visit to them on Sunday during the football

Original poster

LunasPaws · 20/10/2018 09:41

I do indeed. No way! There's no way we're making the effort this time. He can watch his precious footy in peace

OP posts:

Aprilislonggone · 20/10/2018 09:44

I do hope you acknowledge how much (little) you mean to them when it comes to Christmas...

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/10/2018 10:15

He probably doesn't see why it's an either/or. Football is important to him (and maybe this is a specific match he wants to see), so why can't he see his GD on a day when he isn't watching football?

Would you be feeling so disgruntled if he'd said "sorry I've got tickets to go and watch the football tomorrow"?

Isadora2007 · 20/10/2018 10:20

Yanbu to be annoyed and hurt by this. But I wonder why you feel able to ask why they can’t come Sunday, but unable to ask why they can’t make more regular trips to visit you?
Where is your mum in all this? What does she say, and what is your relationship like? I often think the female-female relationship can be the biggest indicator of how comfortable people are with visits etc- so if there is an issue between you and your mum then that will be why the visits are sparse.

Lethaldrizzle · 20/10/2018 10:23

Yes it's annoying, but football seems to come first in lots of people's lives. It wouldn't be so acceptable for a woman to say - 'can't make it cos watching poldark tomorrow' - just an example obviously!

Original poster

LunasPaws · 20/10/2018 10:23

He spends all weekend, every weekend watching football. It's not a special game and he knows we have sky here if he wanted it on.

Me and my mum are great but I communicate via WhatsApp with my dad as he always has his phone and my mum is always without hers. DM won't come without DF as she doesn't like driving on busy roads.

OP posts:

Isadora2007 · 20/10/2018 10:50

Maybe they’re just stuck in their ways. I know growing up we always visited the grandparents at the weekend and one set rarely if ever came to our house.
Could you and your husband make a day of going to your folks work for you? Leave the wee one with your mum and go out for a meal or something?
Or tell your mum that you find it sad you don’t see her at yours very often so could they please come once a
Month. And then get Sky for your dad maybe on a pay as you go thing for his Xmas? Can’t he watch sky on a tablet anywhere?

Flip