Christmas budget

[bumblebee39]

To think £100 each is fair enough? £400 all in with £100 per DC, £50 on a tree and lights (already got decorations), £50 on cards and little presents for teachers, neighbours etc. (Family and friends understand I'm struggling financially this year), £100 food budget plus gingerbread house kit. May also spend a little extra for Xmas party clothes for the kids if we're invited to one (I'll wear something pre loved) and Xmas jumpers and bits like that in the run up. Never spent less than a grand on Xmas but this year things are tight. I know £100 will look like a lot more for DC2 who is a toddler compared to DC1 who is older.

I feel bad because older DC had a downsized birthday I know she felt let down by and I wanted to make Christmas better.
The thing is it will be better whatever, my ex made me so miserable I couldn't be magical mummy I was just drained and unhappy. This year my kids will get all my love and energy and I think that that (and some homemade magic) will make this special whatever the budget,
My dad will be happy with a picture of the kids and a homemade card in sure. He knows I would do whatever is within my capabilities but ultimately he can afford to buy his own wine this year. I think he knows when my luck is up he will be the first person I will be sending gifts to...

I think your budget is plenty and you'll be able to do a really lovely Christmas for your kids.

I agree with the tips you've been given re shopping at Aldi, getting a fake tree (I spent £25 at B&Q last years) and dispensing with the teacher presents.

I also think you should maintain your traditions like Xmas Eve box, you can put something small and inexpensive in (set a precedent for the future!!) and who cares what other people think about it. I think traditions are a huge part of what makes Christmas special.

Also that the £ per child isn't as important as the wow, take advantage of them not yet knowing what things cost and comparing spends!

My older DC unfortunately had already been initiated into designer trainers and smiggle, characters, sylvanian families, expensive Lego sets, the difference between an iPhone and other smart phones, the difference between different devices eg. Nintendo, kindle, vetch etc. She is not herself mercenary but my ex was designer obsessed and it rubbed off on her. If I buy primark clothes I cut the labels out because my ex told "only poor people who don't love their kids shop there" he was a piece of work so glad it's over, but there's still constant reminders.

I read on one of the Christmas threads about putting stuff you already own in the Christmas Eve box to bulk it out.
Do you have festive mugs? Don’t buy new, just put in with hot choc and marshmallows. Do you own Christmas books - get off the shelf and create a tradition by reading it every year. Put the stockings and if you have a Santa plate, put that in. If not put the carrot for the reindeer in.

Go to Ikea for your tree. Costs £25 and you get a £20 voucher to spend after Xmas.

£50 on presents for neighbours and teachers is excessive. Just send cards.

£100 per child is fine especially as they get from your Dad. If you've never subscribed to NowTV or Netflix, take out a free 7day/30 day subscription then cancel it.

No need to spend the same on DC1 and DC2. DC2 probably needs little bits throughout the year rather than lots in one go.

The Sainsburys half price toy sale is on right now. Morrison's had BOGOF on some toys. If I recall correctly boxes are cheaper now than in December.

Do you have any loyalty points saved? If you join Nectar Canvas then you can be paid in Nectar points. Have you maximised your loyalty card benefits eg linked your Nectar card to eBay, downloaded insurance apps so that eating out is 2 for 1 etc?

Ooh yes forgot about the carrot for Rudolph and glass of milk and mince pie for Santa! I'm slacking... But feeling more festive already!

Isn't cutting the labels out of Primark clothes still buying into the myth that if you don't spend 'x amount on x label' it means you are not loved. Leave the labels in tell them what your ex DH said is untrue, snobbish and hurtful. Instead of going along with it, try to rectify.

Hoping she forgets soon... I certainly won't do it forever and have also tried to break down the myth by buying her a teddy and some hair things in there and telling her it's not true. To be fair I haven't cut a tag since me and my ex broke and pretty sure she knows I still love her even though I shop there 😂 slowly but surely... I have also told her Aldi is the best shop in the universe and all the best treats come from poundland so hoping to reeducate her swiftly.
Gratefully she has always taken on how marvellous charity shops are as we always take her old toys and clothes down and I let her choose some new bits so she loves charity shops

He did a number on her with footwear it's all "can I wear my nikes today?" Etc. Hopefully she'll forget that but I doubt it even her peers indoctrinate the trainer myth unfortunately.

You can get all the things listed on eBay! Sylvanian families are brilliant on eBay especially if you can pickup. Whole houses with figures etc for peanuts.

If I was struggling there is no way my family would expect gifts. Adults only do token gifts as it is in our family. My siblings and I don’t get each other anything. When my kids were toddlers I spent about 30 max. Teachers don’t expect or necessarily even want gifts. I teach and the best thing would be a card with a genuine message if thanks in it. Means far more.

Sorry if I sound mean but you really need to stop the whole label cutting thing. It seems your ex has done the damage and you are left to pick up the pieces but act now or it will get worse the older your dc get.

I wish Christmas didn’t cause worry to people.

As I said, I bought older DC some treats from primark and told her EX was wrong and won't be cutting labels anymore. I think I might make a point of it and do primark stockings this year! I would rather by mid range like next, accessorize etc. As tend to find it lasts better, but needs must. I will hopefully find some nice things in those shops in the January sales and we can make New Year shopping a special treat and a new family tradition. Equally I think we can be crafty and make some homemade gifts and cards which won't break the bank but will be a fun activity too.

I think I just want them to know that just because I'm a single parent doesn't mean things are going to be worse, but maybe the reality is that actually things are going to be financially for a while but that means creating memories that don't involve money (or just small amounts) and creating our own identity as a smaller family that doesn't involve buying friends and family members things, but showing our love in other ways.

I know my favourite gifts have always been the homemade ones.

There just seems this pressure to conform to a big Xmas, but I'm not a massive conformist anyway I maybe we can rebel in a positive way by making Xmas about magic and not about money,

I mean, I remember being bought lots at Xmas as a kid where my parents got divorced and I think felt they had to make up for the absent parent/ being the absent parent. That said I can't remember most of those gifts, what I remember was enjoying food and games and laughs as a family. That's what matters.

I think this thread has made me realise what's important, I would love to be able to "spoil" my kids with stuff but I can't and that's ok, because it's better to "spoil" them with love, attention, affection and joie de vive anyway.

Sounds good, OP! There's absolutely nothing wrong with your kids seeing that things need to change this year. It will hopefully show them the importance of only spending what you have, and that Christmas is not all about money.

So you've gone from this:

I will be buying him a nice bottle of wine and a biscuit selection and a Grandad card because he has done just so much for me and my kids lately

to this

My dad will be happy with a picture of the kids and a homemade card in sure. He knows I would do whatever is within my capabilities but ultimately he can afford to buy his own wine this year

I find that bizarre, quite frankly, when a few postings earlier you wanted to give presents to neighbours and friends who've been helpful.

Teachers do not need presents. Most teachers I know end up with cupboards full of tat, or chocolates that will go out or date, or enough wine for a lake the size of Windermere. Most teachers I know REALLY don't want anything.

There is NO WAY I would be getting neighbours, friends or teachers presents before my dad.

Why is it bizarre to pay attention to others advice and consider your motives and how the gifts would be reciprocated?
I think there were some very good points made that lead me to realise that my Dad wouldn't be expecting those things, and might even feel bad about receiving what he knew I couldn't afford and may prefer something homemade.

I don't know if they are right but I'll give it a go.

Last time I checked we can change our mind sometimes.

We've all been trained to be obedient and committed consumers to ensure the economy receives its massive annual cash injection at 'PresentMass'. Tons of plastic tat, giving presents to people whom you don't like, spending money you don't have, giving presents that'll end up in the charity shops come January, stress and unhappiness all round etc.

They even brought out a movie to ensure people are guilt tripped into conforming to all this, lest they're labelled a 'Grinch' once the population became too old to know about 'Scrooge'.

Tesco brought out a PresentMass aisle as soon as the kids went back to school in September.

Seriously?

I know it's craziness.

I think I am going to rebel by having my fist thrift-mas

I know my family/ friends etc. Have got used to receiving certain gifts etc. From me but this year I'm going to slash my budget and try and get on top of my finances instead of rinsing myself at Xmas. Literally spent too many January's living off rice, beans and potatoes 😂

Enough now, I am going to teach my kids a positive lesson and try and teach them the value of Wow and magic over money money money

This thread has made me realise that I was over budgeting and Over stretching and that we can have a perfectly good Xmas on half the budget (if not better having fun making things etc.)

I feel like my whole life I've been duped into believing money showed love, but I've got no money and a whole lot of love so things are going to be different this year

Go for it.

If people start rebelling and concentrating on what matters, the less stress we'll all be under.

🙌🏽💕