AIBU OH

[NotSoThinLizzy]

Sorry if it's a long one.
So I was planning on splitting with OH a while back but we decided to try harder to make it work but I'm so disappointed.
Tuesday night me and the 2 kids (1 year old and 9 year old) went away and came home Friday night. He's going out drinking tonight after work and won't be home tonight. I wanted him to get up and sort DS breakfast this morning so I could get an extra hour in bed before he has to start getting ready for work. He says he's tierd. I was up and down all night with DS as he has a cold. He's had a break from the kids for days on end and hasn't spend anytime with them at all since we've been back. AIBU to want to shake him and tell him he's a shit dad. I'm basically a single parent. Just wanted a moan really I can't keep living like this.
Thanks if you made it this far 😊

If he hasn't changed in ten years he won't change by January. Stop being a doormat and kick him out.

And we are going to "try" harder.

It's not really 'we' that has to try harder though is it? Has he gaslighted you? It's him and he needs to DO better not try.
I wouldn't give him 4 months if I were you, I'd give him 28 days. He has the baby, he wakes up in the night, he makes your life easier, you share parenting, housework and mental load. He speaks respectfully and nicely to you, the mother of his baby. He's either your partner . If he can't do it even for the first 2 weeks then you have your answer. Why prolong?

He's either your partner or not. Is what I meant to write.

I am not clear what you expect a lazy selfish man, who's treated you like this for ten years, to do that's so amazing you'd forget or not realise that you can do better.

It's DD bday and then Xmas then have a concert booked in Jan with a bunch of friends so it seems better? He put baby down last night so a bit of an improvement will see how it goes.

No change for 10yrs. By January what do you expect to have happened. Get out before Xmas and stop being a total doormat.