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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

lunch box

17 replies

isitlegal12345 · 19/10/2018 21:01

bringing up children is difficult. as a parent I teach my kids consequences of actions, balance of personal space and responsibility of actions. These are so important lessons. I was surprised during dinner at school my child's lunch box was checked. OK normal so far. But the dinner lady could not open the box due to the handle is the lock mechanism so the dinner lady broke the handle and lock off. My daughter was upset to see the dinner lady break off the handle, took a lot of force. The lunch box now has no handle and the lid can not been closed. I spoke to the head teacher who was available to chat. I explained what had happened and the cost of breakage, £10 lunch box from TKmax. This is my problem, it is just a lunch box. But head teacher is verbally aggressive to me and face shows aggression, informs me that it is not school policy to repair or replace damages caused by staff. 1, the aggression is well over the top and 2, if my child breaks other peoples property then I expect them to understand that they have crossed an acceptable level and I then pay for repairs. Is it right that a teacher can give non liability if a staff member breaks a child's item ?

OP posts:

InDubiousBattle · 19/10/2018 22:19

Eh?? YANBU. My ds has only just started school so pardon my ignorance, but what exactly are they checking for? Why did the dinner lady not just ask your dd to open it for her?

GreenLantern53 · 20/10/2018 12:34

probably checking for “junk food” its not uncommon for schools to check lunch boxes. why was it locked??

QueenDoris · 20/10/2018 12:35

Go to the Daily Mail. This would make a perfect sad face story.

LongSummerDays · 20/10/2018 12:37

Probably not locked but fastened shut so the food didn't fall out.

HenryMouse · 20/10/2018 12:37

why was it locked??

Presumable to stop the contents falling out!

CherryPavlova · 20/10/2018 12:38

Mine used to have checks they had eaten everything before play. My son used to hide sandwiches in his socks or pockets as he couldn’t bear eating in a school hall with the noise and smells of 100 children chomping. I was called in to discuss this once and we agreed he was not malnourished, he was performing well and an ‘eat everything up’ policy was not a good idea. His box was never checked again. Schools have a difficult time though with other parents complaining if they aren’t checked and made to eat their lunch.

HenryMouse · 20/10/2018 12:39

DS’s school were mortified when DS’s teddy got water spilled on him at the teddy bears picnic! There was no damage and it was dry when I picked up ds but they still “confessed”.

I think your school is in the wrong.

GreenLantern53 · 20/10/2018 12:39

I was asking why it couldnt be opened without breaking it open uno most normal lunch boxes are simple to open and dont need to be broken to open them. why couldnt the child open it?? show her how to??

GreenLantern53 · 20/10/2018 12:41

oh come on the op said “it took alot of force” to break it so im wondering what kind of lunch box it is it its one designed for a child

PinkHeart5914 · 20/10/2018 12:41

If a child can open the box then it can’t be that challenging for an adult surely?

Yanbu and school should be paying for a replacement. It wasn’t an accident she deliberately broke it.

Even if they were checking for “banned” food 🙄 I don’t think they can really say it’s wrong to send a chocolate bar but ok for a school employee to break some child’s lunch box

HenryMouse · 20/10/2018 12:44

The opening isn’t the issue (I don’t think). The breaking is the issue.

Imnotaslimjim · 20/10/2018 12:44

I'm assuming it's one where the handle flips one way to lock and and the other to open it? Why on earth didn't she ask DD how to open it rather than trash it?

If be doing back in and telling them it need replacing. It may not have been a deliberate act but a bit of forethought would have prevented it

LongSummerDays · 20/10/2018 12:45

why couldnt the child open it?? show her how to??

Because some adults don't listen to children.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 20/10/2018 12:46

I am a bit surprised that your DC didn't show/tell her how to open it if there was an opportunity to do so?

YANBU, the aggression sounds extremely disproportionate to the complaint, and the complaint sounds entirely reasonable. I wouldn't be pleased if school broke something in such circumstances and didn't replace it.

GreenLantern53 · 20/10/2018 12:47

Ive never seen a lunch box that isso difficult to open that it needs to be broken into with force so was wondering what kind of lunch box and why the child couldnt have said”this is how you do it” before the dinner lady forced it open. i dont see the school paying for it though sorry.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 20/10/2018 12:50

Also, for people asking why an adult couldn't open something when a child could, there are reasons.

The item could have a knack, arthritic fingers (my mum struggles with this), or a condition like dyspraxia. I am 28 and a lot of "child proof" things still flummox me, like the child proof main door when I volunteered in an Infants School and had to be let out by the receptionist every day.

RebelWitchFace · 20/10/2018 13:05

YANBU . The dinner lady should've asked DD to open it if she couldn't. Even if they don't replace it, an apology should be the least they can do. The never pay is fair enough if it's an item that got confiscated and shouldn't be in school anyways,but when deliberately broken it's entirely different.
A TA at DD's school broke her water bottle by accident. No one's fault,but she was very apologetic and offered to replace it. I told her not to worry or bother.

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