To resent my dad..

[loulou1995]

Today I received a whatapp message from my dad who is retired, living in Thailand and who haven't seen for 3 years saying he is officially married to a thai woman. I have never met or spoken to her and now she's "officially got the same name" as me.

Neither I not my DB went to his 'Buddhist wedding' about a year ago - I wasn't invited and my DB had college and dad wouldn't budge on date. He's made it official today for a visa for her.

I've always been a 'daddies girl' and the clear favourite, he's never really liked DB who not long ago confessed how awful dad had been when he was younger - swilled drinks in his face for acting up (acting as a normal young child would) etc. We've had many arguments over the years about nonsense. He wouldn't lend me £50 until pay day for food shopping, the single and only time I asked to borrow cash for a week. And everything feels strained, he doesn't feel like a parent.

We both feel completely let down and I'm just so angry for my brother. He's has loads of issues and just hasn't ever had a dad to lean on or be there for advice and it's messed with his head.

Anyway, now hes married and touchy subject maybe but I'm worried about inheritance. My grandad worked himself into the ground setting up a business and with assets included is worth over a million, also, he owns the only childhood home we have left - somewhere I always imagined my own kids playing and I don't want it to leave the family.

Dads always been money savvy (skimmed earnings so CPS couldn't take much, tied mum up in knots over a house on and on) and I don't think between them they would risk losing it all to someone new. Because she will absolutely outlive him, and what happens then?

AIBU to be concerned and more than a bit resentful?

Yeah with the family name perhaps, but a stranger will never be family to us

That’s true of the wife but any children they have will be your half sibling & will be a grandchild to your grandfather just like you & your brother are. You might not consider a new child family but your grandfather might. Would your grandfather really cut any new child/ren out? Would he really cut his own son out? If they do move in with your grandfather like you suspect, that house will then become the child/ren’s family home too.

Also call me cynical but it looks like your father’s moving back just in time to get your grandfather’s house. Your father knows his dad is sick & has not long left, him moving in will look, to any court, like he’s returned to look after his dad & care for him in his final days.

If the house does get left to your father, I think you’ll have a tough time fighting the wife for it when he passes, especially if there are minor children involved at the time or at the other end of the scale, if they had been together for 10/20/30 years. Most likely though, they’ll sell up as soon as they can & buy something that’s theirs & you have no connection to.

I’m very sorry this is happening but you might have to let go of the dream of having the family home, the only way that can happen is if it’s left solely to you but with your brother, dad & possibly his new children around, the most you’ll probably get is a share.

Awful response.