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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbors garden

43 replies

Paddington23 · 19/10/2018 18:19

What can I do neighbor who is in her 70s we think garden is over grown it coming over our fence and is right up to her back garden door and it’s all over her greenhouse. She can’t even open her back door whole garden is covered not an inch uncovered with weeds plants and trees. Are fence is now leaning over and will need replacing. Where happy to clear it for her but don’t want to embarrass her any tips on what you would do. Would we be unreasonable to speak to solicitor if she won’t agree to us clearing it

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 20/10/2018 08:12

I think you should speak to her kindly first before making the leap as to what to do ifnshe refuses.

notaflyingmonkey · 20/10/2018 08:17

If she has adult children who visit, maybe have a word with them as they may not realise the impact of it on yourselves.

LIZS · 20/10/2018 08:18

The plants overhanging can be trimmed back your side, so there is no reason to blame that for damage to your shed. You could ask fir access on her property so you can clear it . She probably does not realise the impact it is having and the garden may simply not be a priority. She probably cannot see that from her house so just explain the issue. Whose is the back fence? Have you spoken to her socially before now?

Thenewdoctor · 20/10/2018 08:18

You can’t whale straight in to a Solicitor’s letter that’s a total over reaction.

Go and talk to her.

Thenewdoctor · 20/10/2018 08:19

And why didn’t you trim back on your side?

MrsMoastyToasty · 20/10/2018 08:23

Is she a council tenant? I don't know if they still do garden clearances but it might be worth enquiring.

Yellowflowersgreengrass · 20/10/2018 08:26

I know it isn’t allowed but I would trim it from my side, well into her side of it is ruining things your side. How will she ever know or care?
But I’m sure it is worth it popping round and speaking with her. My sister bought a house off a elderly person and the garden was like that. I’m telling you now, it took a huge amount of work. They hired a rotivator because the brambles will keep coming back unless you churn all the soil up. Then they had to lay grass etc. There is expense involved unless you are happy doing it a few times a year?

Gaspodethetalkingdog · 20/10/2018 08:26

Some people have no interest in gardening. The older lady we bought our house from was one, she just paid a Gardner once a month to mow the lawn etc but the rest was a mess - fantastic project for us now looks fab.

Speak to her and volunteer to help, could be the house is a mess as well in which case she does need help

TroysMammy · 20/10/2018 08:32

A garden that bad does not suggest a mental health issue. Why do people always say it's mental health problems for everything?

There could be many reasons. Mobility problems and ill health. She may have not been the gardener. It could have been a late husband who was the gardener.

I'd just ask her if she would like some help.

Original poster

Paddington23 · 20/10/2018 08:48

It’s not the over hanging damaging the shed it’s her side the plants have grown out so much there pushing the fence over into the shed will speak to her when I next see her

OP posts:

Greenkit · 20/10/2018 08:48

We had a neighbour who let his garden grow this bad as he was scared of being broken into. If its her property, there isn't much you can do really, but trim the bits which are pushing the fence over.

Mix56 · 20/10/2018 08:53

To be fair, she can't actually see your side & know if it has overgrown that much
I expect she has no money & overwhelmed by the hugeness of the task & possibly not that mobile
I would simply go & talk gently to her.

Aprilislonggone · 20/10/2018 08:56

Fire hazard if she can't even open the back door surely?

Shockers · 20/10/2018 09:00

To be fair to the OP, she did say that she would first offer to clear it for her neighbour, which would be no small task.

DeaflySilence · 20/10/2018 10:16

"If she says no what are we meant to do leave it an ruin our garden"

There you go again, making a leap. Yes she might say 'no', anyone might, but you haven't asked.

As it is, it sounds as if you're getting so entrenched by the thought of the damage, that (without intending to) your going to go into the conversation sounding less like a helpful neighbour and more like a complainer.

Don't wait to bump into her in the street, create an opportunity, and make the offer to help. Hopefully she will be delighted, but if she's not then you are no worse off than you are now, and can even end the conversation on a positive note by saying something like -

"okay we'll leave it for now, although obviously we'll still have to cut it back from the fence a bit in order to repair the fence, then you can just tell us anytime you'd like help with the rest".

CupMug · 20/10/2018 10:20

Can’t you just lean over the fence and cut the plants back?

Is the fence yours or hers?

Happyinheels · 20/10/2018 10:22

I would pop round and just say 'I'm sorry to bother you but...' then explain the issue with your fence coming down because of the trees on her side. Then you could offer to sort it or come to some agreement.
Do you even speak to her?
I think a solicitors letter is too much at this point.

Sallylondon · 21/10/2018 23:54

What is the state of the house like?
Does she manage to keep up with maintenance and housework?
Does she have visitors; family or carers coming?
If all the above are as you would hope, it seems odd that the garden has got so very bad. This is not just few brambles, this is a thorn thicket a la Sleeping Beauty. As some PPs have said, it's more than an afternoon with secateurs to get it back on track. A lot more!

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