Whorebag posse thread 3

[Thenewdoctor]

So what think we of overlap?

I think emotional affair and that to me is far worse than a quick physical shag, even if it wasn’t on a concrete garage floor.

I like to do it the other way, I like them then I shag them. So the sex always meant something with them. I hope that makes sense.

I like them enough to want to shag them.

That doesn’t mean they’re necessarily going to be relarionship territory. They always have been but it isn’t a given.

And you still haven’t responded to my point about ED.

You seem to think that I’m shagging people I don’t like.

I’m way older than you and I’ve shagged the same number of people as you.

Do you honestly think I didn’t like them? Or are you just being goady again?

I'm going to go back a little. I looked at your replies about the overlap, and I think you're fooling yourself, lornar.

An emotional connection to someone takes time, it doesn't happen overnight, despite the minimising you were doing.

I'll bet your then partner noticed you weren't giving him your attention, and that there was some discord in the relationship.

Take a look at Relationships, many threads where women have noticed a Change in their partner's behaviour, usually coinciding with someone new on the scene. The crap behaviour nearly always happens before the shagging part, and is down to the partner "whose head was turned" detaching from the partner in the relationship. This is the emotional affair.

And this sounds like your behaviour as described on these threads.

I agree multicolour.

I knew my ex was attaching to someone else for months before we actually split. And I debased myself to make him come back to me. Even though he was what he was because I didn’t want to destroy my family.

How does it feel Lornar to know you made your partner feel like that?

Checking in with my whorebag possy

@Lornar123 you continually and repeatedly conflate 'our' feelings about non-monogamous, non-romantic sexual interactions and how we would feel in a monogamous committed relationship.

You say things like 'none of you would be bothered about being dumped' which is complete conjecture and misunderstanding. We have, several of us, said that we would not be bothered if a non- romantic sexual arrangement would come to an end, because there is no relationship attached to the sex. However in an actual relationship there would be much more feelings and dependence as well as the commitment and monogamy which could potentially lead to the betrayal you mention. If any of us were dumped in a relationship in which we had invested such emotions, and were not ready to end then I assure you we would certainly be sad.

FWB is not equal to a relationship
sex is not equal to love

I've only got my relationship with ex to go by. I left and didn't look back after abusive behaviour on his part.

I can look back and see I am capable of detaching emotions from sex, I did it enough times before I got away.

I'm not too bothered for a new relationship, but a FWB arrangement might be nice.

I'm very confused...but this was an interesting read. If there is another thread that I should have read first, so that this makes sense- please direct me to it. 

Aaaaah, found it!

ftfoawygtfosm sorry if you felt that. You did say that the sex did not mean anything to you though initially. I thought.

The shagging is just to give them a trial on the sex front

I thought you said the sex wasn't that big a deal and you wouldn't dump someone if they couldn't manage it ?

People were making out as if they would not hurt or have feelings of longing for anyone. That feelings of longing for someone that are perfectly natural in my opinion were a sign of emotional immaturiry

I asked how you would feel Lornar. Knowing you made your partner feel like that. I note you aren’t answering.

There has to be attraction. There has to be an ability to turn each ither in.

Sex isn’t the be al, and end all, as I have said REPEATEDLY. I haven’t dumped Mr FTF because he can’t always manage it because there are plenty of other things you can do sexually that aren’t PIV.

You must know this. You said you’d done it all sexually on the other thread.

I don’t go without. Let’s out it that way. Even when he can’t do sex.

And there’s lots of other ways to give him pleasure even when he can’t get hard.

But. As I said. You know it all so this isn’t news to you.

*other on

All I've really tried to explain is why I cannot separate sex from love and why I don't trust people who do. For that I've been met with sheer contempt.

@EvePolastriSorryBaby you're probably going to wish you hadn't found those threads! haha

but welcome!

Bear in mind this was in the context of a thread where people were saying they could have amazing regular sex with men they liked but yet not miss it one iota if it ended. This is the opposite of how I view sex.

Now you’re just making stuff up Lornar.

@lornar123 All I've really tried to explain is why I cannot separate sex from love and why I don't trust people who do. For that I've been met with sheer contempt.

that is complete bollocks.

We have accepted over and over again that how YOU feel is totally fine for YOU. You have not only tried to explain how you feel and why but you have also suggested that others on this thread are untrustworthy by implication and you have repeatedly tried to tell other people that they don't feel how they feel and you've also tried to tell other people how they should feel, as well as how they don't really know how they feel/are all lying to themselves about how they feel.

As a result of this you have been met not with contempt but bafflement. And a large number of people have very patiently and politely tried repeatedly to explain to you how and why we feel even though you refuse to accept that anyone else can possibly be valid in their feelings if they don't match your own feelings.

How can you honestly say that when you had, by your own admission, an EA and an “overlap”?

I didn't have an ea. I left one relationship as soon as I realised I would rather pursue another. It was nearly 3 months until we had sex.

Soup you've tried to suggest I am not reasonable for not trusting people like you !!!!!!!

Well how could it have been a relationship as far as you were concerned, because that only applies when you’re banging like rabbits and are each other’s best ever?

How long was the “friendship” that “developed” “after” the “overlap”?

I include the time getting to know each other better but not shagging as part of our time together, yes.

I was ridiculed because of the reason I don't trust people who can dissociate at will sex from love. Told I had no business judging anyone's sexual history etc

You don’t have any business to judge anyone else’s sexual history because it’s none of your business.

That’s an emotional affair then. See all that time “getting to know each other” - massive betrayal as far as I’m concerned and I’d be dumping you for that.