To need help teaching DD how to handle this child?

[Failydail5]

My dd has just started school. She seems to have become the object of affection/ mild obsession from another child in her class.

It ranges from them hitting and pushing her, to them kissing, cuddling and just generally being in her face a lot. This other child is twice the size of my tiny DD so I don't always think pushing is done with malice, more heavy handed affection?

I'm fairly certain there are additional needs of some sort there with the other child and I don't believe they ever intend to hurt my DD but it makes her uncomfortable and after witnessing how close to her face they get when trying to interact with her, it makes me quite uncomfortable too.

The teacher is aware and trying to work on it but I'm not sure what to advise my DD to do on her end. She's a really 'nice' kid who wouldn't ever be confrontational or really stand up for herself and she doesn't like the thought of ignoring or (in her words) being mean to the other kid.

I'm very aware that if this other child does have boundary issues or additional needs I don't want to do anything that might make them feel sad or excluded by then I also have my Dds feeling and personal boundaries to consider too.

AIBU to ask you all for some guidance?!

I think I'd teach her how to step back and put a space between them...so taking one step back, raising her hand (flat palm outwards) and to firmly say "Stop!".

Also, make sure she knows that nice people stand up for themselves too and that's not being 'confrontational'.

It’s not a bad lesson for both children if your daughter can learn to impose her boundaries. It doesn’t need to be hurtful.

‘I don’t like it when people are so close to my face/touch me like that. Please give me more space.’

Put hand up and say Stop! I dont like it. Stop (whatever other child is doing).

Asserts her boundaries using verbal and non verbal communication. No nastiness. Rejection of the behaviour rather than the person.

Does that make sense?

If you’re not at school the whole day how on earth do you know one child is obsessed with yours? Maybe they’re as bad as each other and the other child goes home and complains about it too. Maybe your child has encouraged it? Maybe your child is too sensitive and less confident than the other child? Just playing devils advocate. Because they’re children at the end of the day. They’re all learning boundaries etc.

@QuickNC123 because when I've spoken to the teacher about incidents my DD has told me about, I've been told that they have taken a particular liking to my DD in particular. I totally agree with you about them all learning boundaries, but I've seen firsthand at pick up/drop off/ other school events how the other child's boundaries are almost non existent at times and how it makes my DD cringe away a bit. I know it makes her uncomfortable so I'm just looking for ways to gently guide her and make her feel a bit more in control. I don't believe she should have to put up with being kissed, cuddled, touched etc every day when she doesn't want to be. It's a delicate situation while they're all so young though, I get that.

Role play. Teach her the move where she leaves one foot planted in front while she steps back with the other foot and leans away from friend. Teach her to hold her hand up and say loudly ‘stop, I don’t like that’. And then when this doesn’t work going to get adult help. Practice it a lot. It’s a good skill to have and will help in many situations in the future. My DD is a ‘good/nice’ girl too and I’ve done this and it’s helped her, though she found it difficult upsetting her ‘friend’ actually they get on better now that there are appropriate boundaries in their relationship.