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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not answer to trick or treaters at dinner time?

43 replies

Cachailleacha · 18/10/2018 22:18

I'm thinking of getting some sweets and putting a pumpkin out this year, but I want to be able to come home and get dinner in peace first. WIBU to put a sign on the door not to knock before 6.30pm?

OP posts:
Worlds0kayestmum · 18/10/2018 22:21

The general 'rule' for trick or treating is only knock on doors that have a pumpkin outside. Just wait until you've finished eating to put out your pumpkin.

Shadow1234 · 18/10/2018 22:27

Where I live, children will knock if theres a pumpkin or not! But I always enjoy seeing their little faces when you give them a handful of sweets!

I would probably put the notice up - the fact that you are telling them to come back, means they know you will still give them a treat later on .
(Just make sure its very visible and in big letters!)

GreenLantern53 · 18/10/2018 22:37

Ive never heard of the “pumpkin rule” till joining this site, it certainly wasnt a rule when I was growing up either. so personally i would put the sign up!

BitchyChuckle · 18/10/2018 22:39

You could but then you’d miss the littlies

MakeAHouseAHome · 18/10/2018 22:40

Not unreasonable at all. We switch all our lights off and stay in the back room. HATE trick or treating

Original poster
Cachailleacha · 18/10/2018 23:05

I would like them to know to come back, and I don't mind missing the littlies. I would prefer that the older ones coming at a reasonable hour don't miss out.

OP posts:
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 18/10/2018 23:09

All the littlies I know would be done and back home by 6.30 for bed. Those are the ones I do it for. Can’t you eat later one day?

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 18/10/2018 23:09

By littlies I mean the 3-7s

dancinfeet · 18/10/2018 23:24

I am going to individually bag up little sets of sweets this year and hand them out - last year had a boy scoop up over half of the sweets in my trick or treat bowl with both hands ( not small bowl either, he must have taken about 20 mini choc bars) and put them into his trick or treat bag held by his parent. I asked him if he was going to leave some for the other kids and he said no. Then his dad leaned over and helped himself to a handful as well!! I was turning kids away later on because I ran out of sweets (and I usually over buy). This year its going to be little cellophane bags with the individually wrapped sweets shared out fairly and one bag per child, adults can shove off.

ThriftyMcThrifty · 19/10/2018 00:56

Yes, I think YABU. Either you are answering to trick or treaters or you aren’t.

HeddaGarbled · 19/10/2018 01:08

The codes are lit pumpkins and/or outside lights on.

Displaying the codes with a note stipulating times is daft.

VerbeenaBeeks · 19/10/2018 01:12

Small people trick or treat around 5pm here, definitely before 6.30pm so you'd miss all them. YABU for saying dinner, that's midday here so thought you were going to say ignoring from 12pm ish onwards lol Grin

florenceheadache · 19/10/2018 01:16

On Halloween you prep ahead whether you feed your children first (super quick) so they don’t eat the treats until they’ve been checked. Or, in the case of no children have something that’s pleasant hot cold or reheated (quiche)
I doubt 50% would read a note on the door.
And the littles that come right after supper are the sweetest!

AcrossthePond55 · 19/10/2018 01:20

It's only once a year. Maybe plan ahead for leftovers from the night before or do a takeaway that night? We usually got a takeaway, picked up a pizza, or had something that took very little work to get on the table. The kids loved that supper on Halloween was a 'special treat' meal.

Where I live (US) it's the porch light rule. You only go to homes that have the porch light (or spooky lights) on.

MarcieBluebell · 19/10/2018 01:31

Yabu

No ones going to come back for your one house. If you don't want to answer the door you could leave a bowl of sweets out or not bother at all. But a sign seems silly.

Original poster
Cachailleacha · 19/10/2018 06:49

OK, no note. I'll just switch the light on once I'm home and have had the time to get changed and get a drink at least. I'm home at 5.30 so I will miss some littlies anyway, they were all over the road last year as I was coming home. My secondary school child will be hiding in the sitting room no doubt!

OP posts:
cheesefield · 19/10/2018 06:57

Honestly I would put a note up saying "We are eating dinner, please come back at 7!"

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 19/10/2018 07:01

YANBU. I don't answer the door to trick or treaters anyway but if I did I wouldn't answer at dinner time

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 19/10/2018 07:03

dancinfeet . Great Idea, think I will do that this year too.

I had that last year, kids hands plunging in like a claw machine at the seaside .
In the end I handed them one each that wasn't much fun for the kids, I realise, but I did not have an infinite amount of sweeties .

maddiemookins16mum · 19/10/2018 07:03

The little ones are normally Haribo’d to the max by 6pm.

Ohheyyy · 19/10/2018 07:07

I agree with just putting the pumpkin out when you're ok for visitors. That's the unwritten rule round here too.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 19/10/2018 07:09

If the children are doing a route around the houses then they probably won't come back, as they will have forgotten which was the house that said come back later.
I doubt you will be giving out something extra special so it will be most likely your loss rather than theirs if you don't answer the door .

Personally, we answer the door and enjoy the visits and marvel at the kids cheekiness etc - it's one day a year !

Live a little and eat you supper in the hall for a change !

Original poster
Cachailleacha · 19/10/2018 07:48

HumptyNumptyNooNoo I think you must have missed my update. I'm just going to get changed after work then put the outside light on for the trick or treaters.

There were still older kids out at 6 or 7pm last year, again, I don't mind if I miss the littlies.

OP posts:
Darkestnight · 19/10/2018 08:30

I have my lights off and no decorations whatsoever up and they still knock. I wish people where I lived followed this pumpkin rule. Op YABU as have your dinner and put that sign up on your door. Even tho I have a sign they ignore it Hmm

ShatnersWig · 19/10/2018 08:33

When we were little (I'm 44 now), we never ever knocked on the door of anyone we didn't actually know. None of this random knocking on everyone's door.