In thinking he should have been invited to the wedding?!

[MadgeMagic]

A relative of mine has been with his girlfriend for about 7 years. They live together.

His girlfriend's cousin is getting married next year. The girlfriend and the cousin (male) are more like brother and sister. It's a very small family and they grew up being together most of the time. I'd say they're even closer than a lot of brothers and sisters.

Both couples have actually spent a lot of time together and socialise together quite a bit.

The wedding invitations come out and the cousin's boyfriend hasn't been invited!

Cousin is very hurt. It's not a tiny wedding by any means, it's in a big church and a decent sized reception place.

Cousin tells other cousin she's upset and is told he can come to the party bit in the evening.

The cousin has turned around and said she's not going now.

While I completely sympathise with strict numbers at these kinds of things I do feel he should have been invited!

He's pretty much family. The groom's side of the family are all quite upset and surprised.

What are others thoughts?

Nc'ed for this as quite a few on here actually know who I am in rl. 

Meh. It’s their wedding, they can invite who they like. Lots of people don’t see unmarried relationships as ‘family’ or as serious as wedded couples. They might not want to invite someone their relative is just dating, if numbers are tight. And even if it’s a big venue, they probably have plenty of people they’re close to filling it up. If they didn’t they’d bulk it up by giving cousin a plus one.

Their wedding, their guest list.

I think the cousin should go and just know they weren't as close as they thought.
I don't understand why the cousins bfs family are upset though..whats it to any of them except the guy?

And if you recieve and invitation for 1, its rude to ask for more. Go/dont go. But don't make it a "thing".

The grooms family is upset. The family on the side of the cousin. Sorry did I explain it badly?

I see what you mean about asking for a plus one being rude.

But at the same time, he's hardly a random she's been dating for a short while. And he's well known to the family.

The girlfriend can be as upset as she likes that her live in DP hasn’t been invited but they can invite who they like. She was rude to mention it and even more rude when, after they had said he could come to the evening do, to say she isn’t going now. I’m not surprised the grooms family are upset after her throwing her dummy out of the pram.

I completely sympathise with strict numbers at these kinds of things I do feel he should have been invited!
Tbh what you feel isn’t relevant. this is the bride and grooms day. Their choice who they invite.

Every couple can choose who they invite to their wedding, it's not about "shoulds", no one has to attend if they don't agree with the invitation policy

Why are the groom's family upset?! This boyfriend is the bride's cousins boyfriend :s

It's up to bride and groom who to invite and if the recipient is unhappy they should decline.

If I was your family member I wouldn't go without my long term, live in partner as they weren't invited. I had done this once before when bizarrely my husband wasn't invited (he got on well with them, no back story). Sent a polite decline (with no apology for missing it).

Technically they can invite who they want to the wedding, but it's not right that they haven't. It's rude. I wouldn't be going either if I was the cousin.

This boyfriend is the bride's cousins boyfriend

No, it's the groom's cousin's boyfriend.

I can see why's the girlfriend would be upset, and don't blame her at all for not going. She's doing the loyal thing in her relationship. Can totally understand why the grooms family might be upset too. If they think of him as part of the family and can see he's been excluded from a major family event then it's going to be difficult and less enjoyable for them too.

I don't think there's much you can do about it though sadly.

I think it's very rude to only invite one half of a couple, when it is a long established relationship where the couple live together.
It's natural for the person invited to query why their dp has been excluded - inviting him to the evening reception as an afterthought, is a massive snub. I wouldn't want to attend if my dp was treated like that.
Just because the b&g have a right to behave like that, it doesn't mean they should. Snubbing the dp of somrone the groom considers to be as close as a sibling, is bound to have repercussions.

No, it's the groom's cousin's boyfriend.

I don't think so?

His girlfriend's cousin is getting married next year. The girlfriend and the cousin (male) are more like brother and sister

What dies the groom say?

Oh i see now! Hehe

Bit strange not to invite them as a couple if they are living together and socialise together.

I'd be hurt tbh. Yes of course it's up to them who they invite but that just seems to be given as an excuse for people acting like dicks on Mumsnet.

Only on Mumsnet would people not be offended by the partner of 7 years not being invited and saying its up the bride who she invites!

Its rude the groom and the cousin are close, the bride not inviting cousins partner is a massive snub!

The way you present it, it sounds incredibly strange.

So surely, there's more to this than meets the eye. Another side to the story?

Because why wouldn't they want someone they consider a friend there, and risk badly snubbing that friend.

Does the bride have a cousin whose partner she dislikes by any chance?

Really rude and self-centred of them. I don't understand why people don't get the irony of only inviting one half of a couple to their event to celebrate being a couple.

We had similar - DP invited to all day wedding, me to evening only, and the wedding was at the opposite end of the country. We also live together, and have been together for 12 years. Neither for us went, although we did give them a really lovely gift from their list.

The grooms family is upset. The family on the side of the cousin. Sorry did I explain it badly?

To be honest I gave up trying to work out who was who after the sixth cousin.

The partner should have been invited, yes they can invite who they want but in those circumstances I would not go if I were the cousin.

Every couple can choose who they invite to their wedding, it's not about "shoulds"

"Come celebrate our relationship! Btw your relationship means shit to us." is a pretty awful message that I think couples 'should' avoid if they don't want to come across as twats.

No one can compel anyone to invite anyone to their wedding but it's obviously rude to invite half of a serious couple.

I swear, mumsnet is so odd! To not invite an established partner of 7 years is seriously weird.

A 7 year old live-together relationship? That's family, like them or not.

It was very rude not to invite your cousin's long term partner. Not everyone gets married, for a variety of reasons.

I would have declined, too, if I was the cousin.