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AIBU?

To think teachers could use Mumsnet to teach what a shitty relationship and abuse look like?

15 replies

Merryoldgoat · 18/10/2018 16:27

Just that really.

Maybe if the PSHE teacher (or whatever it’s called these days) actually showed some of these threads, explained abuse and warning flags, and taught what was acceptable and what wasn’t it might be helpful to our children?

Normally you’d want the parents to teach things like this, but the number in horribly dysfunctional relationships means the message obviously isn’t getting through.

All these (mostly) women putting up with utter shit. It’s utterly depressing.

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redexpat · 18/10/2018 16:32

Yanbu. Not just romantic relationships. Friendships, professional relationships and family relationships.

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Merryoldgoat · 18/10/2018 16:34

Absolutely.

I just can’t believe some of the utter shit women are putting up with on a day to day basis.

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Walkingdeadfangirl · 18/10/2018 16:42

YABU, Mumsnet is not representative of real life and their is no way to determine the veracity of any threads.

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noblegiraffe · 18/10/2018 16:42

Pupils are taught about healthy relationships as a part of PSHE.

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Cheerymom · 18/10/2018 17:43

Erm maybe teachers are worn out teaching a curriculum that constantly changes and takes up all their classroom time and then having a few hours work every evening. Maybe parents should, having brought people into the world, do this themselves? Maybe out of a class of 30 ( 6 times a day for secondary teachers), 3 or 4 of these children see daily abusive relationships but have no idea HOW to articulate it have to suffer listening to it in a class while they are helpless is not helpful. There are really useful resources for older children that do get taught but to rely on teachers is, frankly lazy.

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Merryoldgoat · 18/10/2018 17:47

Well as I said in the OP ideally parents would, but a lot of them aren’t able as they don’t know themselves.

It’s just a musing of a post - I’m obviously not suggesting actual policy. I just know that they teach relationships in a class a school and thought using some of the mumsnet threads for illustrative purposes might be helpful.

I’m obviously not suggesting an actually Mumsnet Class.

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Cheerymom · 18/10/2018 17:50

if teacher did use mums net they would be hauled over the coals and get a warning. It is just life we all learn too late, hence mid life crisis regret and so on. And teenagers at school know everything anyway.

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GreenLantern53 · 18/10/2018 17:50

I agree relying on teachers is lazy.

I know a teacher (family member) who is always flitting from one bad relationship to the next and has been through DV and still got back with the man.. Dont need her teaching my kids about healthy relationships thanks.

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Todayillbebetter · 18/10/2018 17:53

We do teach children about healthy relationships....from as young 7.

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RollyCow · 18/10/2018 19:23

As others have said, this is taught, with scenarios and examples.

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Yogafailure · 18/10/2018 19:25

As a teacher I tend to only come on here in holidays as I can't deal with the constant teacher bashing on top of the usual term time stress. I certainly wouldn't be using any of Mumsnet in my lessons.

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Malbecfan · 18/10/2018 19:30

It's already part of the curriculum. I wish some of the bloody parents (in a naice school) would think about the consequences of their actions on their kids. I teach there part-time and spend at least 30 minutes on every day I am there dealing with the fall-out from their home-lives.

Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful tutor group with fab kids and I am very fond of them all. But I could cry at what some of them are going home to. All I can do is listen, help to build up their self-esteem & resilience and hope they won't repeat the pattern. Oh, and then drink too much wine. This is my 25th year of teaching and I always think I've seen it all, then something else comes along...

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onceandneveragain · 18/10/2018 19:33

No! Obviously it's an open forum but people come on here for advice and support, not for their concerns and at times extreme distress to be used as a "look how this silly person has screwed up their life, make sure you learn from their bad choices" scenario for bored school kids to laugh over. It's bad enough news sites trawling mn for clickbait, now teachers should be doing the same?

What if a child in the class recognises their mother in the scenario?

If teachers or parents want to teach healthy relationships it's easy to make up scenarios rather than grabbing it from a real person at their lowest ebb who posted on a website
to get support.

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Littlebluebird123 · 18/10/2018 19:43

I totally get what you mean.

I have (and will continue to have) conversations with my dc about relationships. I use song lyrics, tv programmes, what they've witnessed in their friends' lives etc. There are reminders all around us - I don't need mumsnet. :)

But it is much harder to do if you haven't got good role models around you too. I would imagine that as it is taught in schools but not backed by parents then it doesn't have the same impact. (Ie if the parents/friends/family relationships are dysfunctional then that is more reinforced than the healthy ones.)

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Merryoldgoat · 18/10/2018 19:46

All totally valid - I’m indeed being unreasonable.

I just feel so helpless reading woman after woman accepting terrible behaviour as if it’s normal. It’s not about ‘aren’t they silly’ more opening a discussion about how it happens and how to recognise the signs.

Oh well. I know there’s no easy solution but it sounds like there actually isn’t one at all.

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