Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Lazy bf

38 replies

Motherstressed · 18/10/2018 16:13

Hi I'm new here so I apologise in advance until I get used to it lol
Anyhow I'm 25 with two boys one being autistic. I split from my kids dad 2 years ago (save this for another day) ha! And met my bf a year and a half ago and he's 7 years my senior and earns a gd wage (i.dont work) but hes off work more than in work so has alot of free time and he slowly moved himself in from living with his mother and he does nothing around the house only if he wants something which is very rare that he lifts a finger and i find rubbish everywhere even in the bathroom! He doesn't know how to use the washing machine and also doesn't help with any bills at all I'm classed as a single parent so it's tight atm but he'll do the odd food shop now and then, he wants me to give him a year to sort his finances out before helping me.
Today (this is why I'm feeling the way I do th I've noticed forks going missing and left with two forks in the WHOLE house so I pulled him up on it and said stop taking them to work to which he denied and ends up telling me to shut up and storms off which happens a lot if I 'nag' him and he calls me a freak and weird ect I just want us to be a team but it's all about him I need help with quite a few things around the house like taking stuff to a skip that's pilled up out side to which he says he'll do but never does and a half built trampoline I bought for my boys that he took down to move and ended up losing the bolts to that they can't play on this was in June and still not built:( I'm at the point where I look forward to him going to work so I can do what I want, watch what I want ect without it being his way as he hates what I like and will get in huffs and sulks. Not sure what I'm asking I just need advice btw he can be sweet sometimes and can do nice things but it's an on going battle and it's weighing me down it's hard enough looking after myself, two boys one with asd as it is I have no energy to look after a moody teenage tempered boy! Sorry I just needed the rant lol

OP posts:

AfterSchoolWorry · 18/10/2018 17:32

He's a cocklodger OP. Throw him out.

7yo7yo · 18/10/2018 17:34

Why do people put their kids through this????
Kick the fucker out for your kids. Put them first.

Womanlikeme · 18/10/2018 18:02

What are you living off? You don’t work, he doesn’t contribute and presumably your benefits have stopped as you are living as a couple.

sayanythingelse · 18/10/2018 18:36

Dump him before it goes any further!

I'm married to a man like this. Married young so the immaturity wasn't really apparent until I grew up and he didn't. It leads to a whole lot of resentment, save yourself the stress.

Stillme1 · 18/10/2018 18:50

If you are still claiming benefits as a single parent while he is living in your house and this is found out or reported by a neighbour or school mum YOU will be the one charged with Fraud and heaven knows what all. This will alert SS. You are putting you good name and the ability of the DCs to live with you if you get prison. This MF will say he didn't know you were claiming and get off free and easy, A criminal record will not help you if you start job hunting
Get him back to his mother asap and don't give in if his mum wont take him

Bananalanacake · 20/10/2018 14:08

So have you managed to get rid of him yet?

Alfie19 · 20/10/2018 14:16

I’m new here. What is LTB?

LilMy33 · 20/10/2018 14:22

I find it bizarre that “oh yeah and he’s got a cocaine problem” was added in almost as an afterthought. That alone would be enough for me to kick someone out of my home.

Also just to point out if you’re still claiming as a single parent with him living there won’t you get into a shit tonne of trouble including a criminal record for benefit fraud as he is earning money? There’s no way I’d risk that for anyone let alone a coke head.

SilverySurfer · 20/10/2018 14:33

As others have said, you are committing tax fraud if you are claiming benefits as a single person and he is living in your house, when they find out you will be in deep shit. The loser either goes back to live with mummy or if you can bear to have him in your life (god knows why you would) then he must contribute financially.

Alfie LTB = Leave the Bastard

PuddinginPerth · 22/10/2018 10:31

@Motherstressed

Have you managed to get rid of the guy yet?

I have a friend who was seeing a guy who would block her on social media and come over drunk at all hours of the night when her children were home.

She would also pay for his lunches when they went out, pay for a dirty weekend away (that he suggested and said he would pay half that he never paid for).

He used to expect that if she cooked him a meal all of the left overs were his to eat as well (she wasn’t to have any and the kids weren’t to have any).

I can’t believe why women put up with this sort of behaviour.

DailyMailWankers · 22/10/2018 10:36

DTMFA what kind of example are you setting to your children? You deserve better

PixieCutRegret · 22/10/2018 10:36

Move him out for the sake of your kids.Social services would take a dim view of you moving a coke head in with your children.
Oh and you're committing benefit fraud.

Thebluedog · 22/10/2018 10:38

Even before I’d read the cocoon but I was in the ‘dump him’ camp. Even more so afterwards

Flip

1 2