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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stay another night

22 replies

laura6032 · 18/10/2018 15:12

Had C section on Tuesday, was offered home weds, said no, I'm really sore I'll try go home tomorrow. I'm still really sore, where and around the surgery was, i can hardly stand for the pain and I'm going home to young child and really feel like I need one more night in hospital, was IBU asking? Nursing staff don't seem to impressed and really not concerned about my pain at all.

OP posts:
overagain · 18/10/2018 15:44

If it's a medical need it doesn't seem unreasonable but it sounds as though staff do not think there is a medical need for you to be there? Have you had a section before? Is this an abnormal amount of pain for you?

CantankerousCamel · 18/10/2018 15:46

Just go home and rest up if you’re not having regular medication or drains.

Unless you have someone at home demanding you work as soon as you get back (which is a different problem) you should be fine to rest at home

Handsfull13 · 18/10/2018 15:46

Is there a midwife ward nearby to you? When I had my twins I had to go to the bigger hospital to have them but my local hospital had a midwife run ward where mums could give birth and stay in the ward and have some help. They let me travel to them for a few days to adjust.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 18/10/2018 16:02

Are they administering any form of treatment you can't get at home, or just regular pain relief? If the answer is no then it's probably difficult for them to justify you taking up a bed.

jaseyraex · 18/10/2018 16:31

Do you have help at home? Are you getting any pain relief or anything in hospital that you wouldn't be able to do or give yourself at home? Unfortunately they will be keen to have your bed if there's no real medical reason to keep you in it. The pain will be there for a while and, in my experience, you'll recover much better at home if everything has been fairly straight forward. Keep on top of your pain relief, ask for something stronger to take home if necessary. Rest, but also slowly adjust back in to your normal routine. The sooner you're up and about, the better. Just take it easy and you will feel better soon.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 18/10/2018 16:59

I can understand the reassurance of an extra night and the support you may get, but if it means that someone else will not get a bed, when it is not medically necessary, then I don't know

I wouldn't go as far as to say you were unreasonable though

Ochayethenoocoo · 18/10/2018 17:03

I had a section at midnight and they tried to discharge me the next day. I was an hour's drive from home and i was flooding blood on the floor when i stood up so I said no. They kicked me out the next day.

MereDintofPandiculation · 18/10/2018 17:11

I think they forget that a caesarian is still a fairly major op. I couldn't get pain relied after mine ("Oh, it's not due for 10 mins - we can't give it you" "oh there's only one of us on the ward, we can't give it you") - had to get my partner to bring in paracetamol.

ShakeTheDisease · 18/10/2018 17:19

Ask to see the 'pain team' or whatever they're called in your hospital. The people who consult on pain relief options. Point out that once that's sorted you'll be very happy to go and that gives the ward staff motivation to help on that front.

All the posters saying 'someone else might need the bed '- someone else will always need the bed. OP shouldn't say it's all fine if she's experiencing pain she can't cope with.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/10/2018 17:21

You are going to be in pain no matter where you are, and the best place for anyone is out of a hospital. The fact is, even though it's painful, you need to start moving around.

glueandstick · 18/10/2018 17:23

And yet most other serious abdo surgery would be in for a few more days and a shed tonne more painkillers.

It’s ok, after mine I was told all my pain was in my head and I should stop thinking about it....

DragonBone · 18/10/2018 17:24

I have had to have 4 c sections with my DCs and believe me I was better off in my own bed surrounded by my own things! Only stayed max 2 nights.
Yes it hurts like hell and u feel like you're gonna snap in half - just take it very easy - Much more comfy at home and midwife visits every day for about 2 weeks anyway so never had an issue. All the best x

Harrypotterfan1604 · 18/10/2018 17:29

Unless the hospital are providing you treatment that you cannot get at home then I’m afraid it’s time to go home.
It’s very important that you start to move around, it will hurt but it’s whats best for your recovery.
Staying in hospital puts you at risk of getting dvts and infections, at home you’ll need to get some help with your other child but otherwise you will actually recover better away from the hospital environment.

ScouseQueen · 18/10/2018 17:30

midwife visits every day for about 2 weeks

Really? Didn't happen for me after C section.

glueandstick · 18/10/2018 17:30

Midwives come every day for two weeks?! My god where do you live?! I saw one once. That was it.

Original poster
laura6032 · 18/10/2018 18:10

I am up and moving about, was looking forward to going home today, just really taken back by the pain seems to be getting worse. I'm Def going tomorrow I want to be at home, i just really wanted an extra night, and they're not in desperate need of the bed.

OP posts:
mintich · 18/10/2018 18:11

I've just had an elective c section and I've seen the midwife three times in the last two weeks.
I was low risk and no problems so that might make a difference!

mintich · 18/10/2018 18:12

My pain was really bad for the first 4 days then I seemed to make a huge leap. On day 14 now and feeling pretty good. I did go home on day 2 as I wanted my home comforts!

LittleMissCantbebothered · 18/10/2018 18:15

They may not be in desperate need of the bed, but you are still taking up valuable staff time and resources. Get some painkillers and go home - YAB very U (as spoken by someone who has had 3 sections and stayed one night each time)

Lauren83 · 18/10/2018 18:18

I left after 20 hours, I really feel you should try to vacate the bed they could get emergencies in, if you have complications it's a different matter of course but if there's no medical reason to be there then you should be at home, every day you are in it's costing the NHS

Cachailleacha · 18/10/2018 18:21

Who is looking after the young child at home? Can they not continue to look after the child whether you are in hospital or at home?

bailey999 · 18/10/2018 18:56

Yanbu, I have had 6 sections, with the first it was standard to stay for 4 nights, I also got diclofenic and co-codemol. My last, 3 years ago they wanted me out after 1 night and was only allowed paracetamol. So times have changed, unfortuntely my body and the amount of pain after hadn't.

Serious complications can occur if you try and do too much too soon, my scar tore open on day 2 with my 3rd, I felt a sudden gush of blood, had I been at home I dont know what would have happened.

Try and get up out of bed though, the sooner the better really, however do not overdo it. You know your body, take things at your own pace and enjoy you newborn, such a precious time.

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