To think there was no need for such detail !!

[lesstonicmoregin]

Having a few issues with DSS at the minute. We had all agree fed to sit down and talk about how to handle it (his mum, DH and me) there was lots of wrangling about a sitter for DSS, leaving work early etc to make the time work when we could talk.
At the 11th hour, DSS's mum cancelled by sending DH this huge detailed text about (very personal) medical issues as to why she needed to cancel. Is it just me or is this a cry for attention? She kept DSS off school as she was so upset by it. Wouldn't you just message saying, sorry not feeling great let's rearrange ?! Or am I being heartless.....

Depends what your relationship is usually like. If it’s not good and a casual text would be painted as her avoiding the issue or being difficult then I can see why she would have gone into such detail to try and be upfront and convincing.

The fact you’re now posting about this suggests there might be some underlying tension.

She probably felt guilty about cancelling when such a fuss has been made. I would guess she was worried you would think I’m not feeling well was a lame excuse so felt she had to give detail.

If she’s usually a sound person I’d give her a break

Impossible to say without knowing the personalities involved and the history.

You said it was hard to arrange the meeting - are you sure if she’d texted “sorry, not feeling well” you wouldn’t have been posting saying “AIBU - she cancelled for some minor under the weather crap?”

Is it the end of the world if she’s an over sharer? Many people are.

Is it so bad if she is attention seeking? If she’s so upset about being ill, maybe she deserves a bit of attention.

I’m about her keeping child off school, but quite meh about her sharing medical detail with her ex. She used to share bodily fluids with him. Her level of sharing comfort may still be high because of that!

I think it depends what the very personal medical issues are and the extent of their seriousness. I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer just after my x left - at a time when already feeling pretty low - and would not want to have seen him although told him as felt he needed to know for the sake of the kids. Maybe DSS behaviour is linked to these medical issues and him not knowing how to deal with it.

Really we can't judge without knowing what she said not because I am nosey but I suspect this will vary for everyone, some people are over sharers and will be fine with it and some aren't so we'll find it too much

She kept DSS off school because she was unwell? Hasn't she got better back-up planning than that?

As a matter of interest, who paid for the babysitter?

She may have over explained because she felt bad at cancelling so late on?
Some people will do that so you don't think they are just being awkward.

She has a habit of being dramatic I guess, she split with DH over 10 years ago and they have complex relationship. She'll sometimes say that DSS wants nothing to do with us (current phase) and in the same hand expect emotional support from DH for her personal problems. She got herself in a mess with money and needed bailing out recently and I remember a similar thing happening. It just seems to one crisis after another, that she seems to blame her chaotic life on.
I struggle to understand why she would need to take DSS out of school, 'because she just needed him close' then expect DH to take him to sports club in the afternoon (where some of his school mates are present) - odd.