So, I am due baby no4 this coming
Monday. We live around 1 hour from in-laws and 3 1/2 hours from my parents. We have no local relatives or family.
With this in mind, we had asked in-laws if they would mind being on standby for labour for the other children. The idea is that my neighbour would deal with the immediate care to give in-laws time to get here then they would take over until we could get home from the hospital. Just for some context, none of my previous labours have gone over 5 hours and we've done 6 hour discharge with last two children so it's likely to be a day that we need them at most.
This week, mil tells me that if baby isn't here by due date, she's coming down to 'stay for a few days' because FIL has golf during the week and may not be able to drive her if I go into labour. Again, for context, MIL and I get on fine but we are very different people. She likes to come to my home and essentially tell me how slovenly I am and essentially spend days 'visiting' doing housework and laundry until it's done to her satisfaction then she leaves. She will come for these 'visits' periodically, usually on days that I am working and the children are at school. It is frustrating because a) I am not slovenly and my house is not dirty and b) because it entails spending little or no time with her grandchildren which, to me, should surely be the priority. However, I have long ago accepted that we are just different and that whilst it's not my priority / need / preference, that it is kindly meant and try to just go along with it in the spirit (I think!) it is meant!
But this is just a stretch too far!! At 40 weeks pregnant, I have been nesting like mad and my house Is spotless! Laundry is up to date and my hormones are such that, if she starts cleaning things that I have already made ready, I'm going to snap!! She doesn't like to just sit and she doesn't really eat so trying to entertain her is a total no-go, even if at this point I had the energy or inclination - which I don't!! And to cap it off, if I go into labour and it's just me and her here, I can think of NO ONE I would like here less, watching and commenting... (she was a cleaner in a hospital before retiring so thinks her medical knowledge is that if a registrar!!).
I'm so stressed at this point but DH says it'll cause mortal offence to deflect said visit and it's my fault, because I've encouraged her over the years to do this!!
AIBU to ask dh to ask mil to just stick to original plan?? And AIBU to ask FIL to miss possibly 1 round of golf for the birth of his grandchild? It's not like it's a weekly occurance??