to ask if anyone has ever felt numb during pregnancy?

[QuiVivraVerra]

Sorry for posting in AIBU for traffic. I'm feeling very low tonight. DP has gone to bed and I have nobody to talk to.

I'm 37+3 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has been tough. I have a growth scan tomorrow and am feeling nervous about it. I may be induced if growth has dropped down again. I'm likely to be admitted from tomorrow regardless of what it shows as the dopplers aren't quite where we want them to be.

I've felt okay until tonight. I'm sat on my sofa currently feeling a bit numb. I've lost the excitement of meeting my first baby. I'm tired. Exhausted. I've been in the hospital for CTGs and dopplers every day for the past two weeks. I've never spent so much money on petrol in my life. I've driven close to 600 miles because I'm so fat away from the hospital.

I'm scared to give birth. I don't know I'll even have the energy to.

I just feel, sad tonight.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? A lot of my pregnant friends start to get excited at this point. They talk about how they are nesting, can't wait to meet baby, constantly posting on social media.

I just want to sleep.

Any advice? Not sure what I'm asking for from you. It's my first post. Just feeling a bit blue tonight I guess...

*far away

Hi, yes I felt exactly the same the two weeks before I had my little one. It worried me too. Once she was born, I slowly came back to life, and enjoyed getting to know my little one. I adore her, it all did fall into place. I think it was exhaustion and fear in those last couple of weeks that blocked my emotions and pulled me down. The midwives are lovely, they’ll guide you through. In the end I had a planned c section, the recovery was much better than I expected, and gave me time to rest and cuddle her as extra time in hospital. It’ll be ok x

Thanks @PigletTiggerEeyoreAndRoo - I don't know why I feel like this. Maybe because I've been in to hospital twice already expecting to come home with a baby but ended up with further continued monitoring. It's mentally exhausting. I'm just not excited anymore. It doesn't feel real and I feel sad.

Hoping I'll feel better in the morning. Thanks for sharing your little story 🌷

I felt the same, as you say it doesn’t feel real and I think I felt afraid to believe it was real. Also had an emergency pack your bags we’re admitting you and inducing the next day, only to be sent home again. Try to sleep if you can. I’ll check back in tomorrow to see how you’re doing.

Yes and frequently still do even 5 years later.

I struggled with the concept of being pregnant all the way through. I had horrendous hg and had a couple of admissions for fluids etc. I literally felt like I was watching it all happen to someone else. I felt absolutely nothing. I ended up with ss involvement as a result which was actually quite helpful as it opened doors and made me feel less of a freak. I did have an excellent sw though. All involvement ended before dd was born.

For about a year after dd was born I felt like someone was going to take her away from me and tell me it had all been some big joke and she wasn't really mine. I still struggle with bizarre feelings which I suspect was/is pnd but I have never been brave enough to speak to anyone. I have worked on fake it til you make it to an extent...

Dd was 2.5 when I finally realised how connected I was to dd. She was emergency admitted to hospital twice in 15 hours, second time as a result of a massive fuck up by the hospital. I was terrified. For the first time since she was born I felt like a mum instead of just going through the motions.

Mt experience is extreme, but not uncommon. Don't worry, it will be OK in the end!

By the end of the third trimester I was convinced I was just going to be pregnant forever, could not imagine meeting an actual baby, had given up on the idea of going into labour, and was too tired to find any more fucks to give about anything.

I loved my baby on sight and felt much better once I was no longer sitting around waiting (and sweating. And going for twenty million wees a day. And really, really needing a nice cold gin and tonic.)

@PigletTiggerEeyoreAndRoo I think it is all the driving to and from the hospital every day and feeling like a robot that's done it. It just feels like a means to an end now and I'm just losing my enthusiasm a bit. I really hope I don't feel the same when baby is here.

@Wheresthel1ght thanks for sharing that. I don't think it sounds that extreme. Your situation is probably fairly common and you seem like you've accepted it and dealt with it well.

@Verbena87 I really hope I feel the same when I meet my baby. Thanks for sharing that. I think I feel similar. Part of me wishes they would just induce me as I'm so on edge!

YANBU

I found pregnancy exhausting, and that was a very straight forward pregnancy with no issues. I didn't get excited, just tired, frustrated and fed up. Don't compare your feelings to others, there's no right way to feel. Just try and get what rest what you can

Thanks @Bambamber - I don't know why it's all hit me tonight. I all of a sudden just feel like a complete failure and really, really blue. Need to give my head a wobble I think!

Going to bump this before I go to bed and hopefully feel a bit better in the morning.. thanks for the responses thus far 🙏🏽

The last trimester can be such an endurance test. I cried daily during my last pregnancy! I had terrible SPD, mentally exhausted, was in and out of hospital constantly because of reduced movements and potential issues with the baby. I also felt like my pregnancy was some elaborate prank and that I wouldn’t bring a baby home, which included all sorts of dark thoughts about things going wrong.

I know everyone says this, but try to get as much rest as you can right now. I felt soooo much better once I was induced and the baby showed up, just physically rather than mentally worn out! You will find the strength to get through labour, your body creates all sorts of crazy hormones to get you through it, and you’ll no doubt feel a lot different once the baby is born.

First child no as she was soooo longed for and the end of pregnancy wasn't too bad except the oedema and constant trips to hospital as I was peeing proteins ...

Second one I had a chest infection - thankfully had a planned section as he wasn't engaged, like DD before him, so o didn't have the worry of what was going to happen between the 'in, then out' stage

That said sleep deprivation is a killer, currently sporting another chest infection (6.5 years since the last one when DS was born!) .... hence being up at this stupid hour! And I feel crappy too ... but it's lack of sleep ... I'm sure yours is too!

It'll be fabulous when your baby arrives - do your best to get everyone else to do stuff for you in the meantime and try to get some rest - be a diva if you like ... it's ok 😋

Perfectly normal! You can't be full of the joys of imminent motherhood all the time - or even most of the time! Pregnancy is occasionally wonderful, sometimes mediocre, often shit. You're bound to feel all sorts of emotions, many negative, and sometimes you'll feel nothing at all. As long as these feelings aren't continual or directed at your unborn baby, you're likely just, well, pregnant!

Oh and all of the above is even more applicable when you're having extra scans etc. It's a nerve-wracking time as well as an exhausting one!

Completely understandable. The last few weeks of pregnancy are exhausting even if it’s straightforward. I had complications in my final trimester and was constantly driving to the hospital for high risk clinic appointments, GD appointments, growth scans, dopplers, monitoring. I kept getting admitted for 24hrs and then released and the doctors kept suggesting I’d need to be induced soon then doing nothing. The hospital was an hour away from home and it all turned into an exhausting, stressful grind and I lost all my enthusiasm and joy about my baby because I was so tired and worried. But we got there in the end! I had an induction at 38+5 and the delivery was quite tough and took a while to recover from. I wasn’t one of those people who got an immediate gush of love. I was happy but the ‘numb’ feeling took a while to go and then at about 8 weeks old it hit me like a bus just how much I loved her. In my case it turned out that a lot of what they were worried about (she was very small despite me having gestational diabetes) was actually just genetics because she’s still really dinky at nearly 8 months. You’ll get there and then all this stress and worry will feel like a distant, bad dream.

I wasn’t numb, but I had negative feelings. My life was very stressful at the time and I kind of wished I could turn back time and change my mind about being pregnant. I felt like a leach was growing inside me, taking my energy. When I first had her (emergency caesarean) I didn’t feel like a Mum or an instant connection. It all felt very weird and like the baby in the cot next to my bed was an alien. I saw other Mums cuddling their babies and thought I had better not do that as I don’t want her to get too clingy and attached to me as I need to go back to work (had my own business which was going under and was v stressed). However, for me, the breastfeeding created a bond (not saying it is for everyone but it brought us closer for sure). And my maternal feelings and love for her grew gradually and came in waves. And for me, I will say 100%, having my child became the best thing in my life and makes me happier than anything else ever had. I lost my business in the end, and in many ways my business was my first baby, but having my real baby definitely softened that blow. Am sure everything will be fine and come about naturally in time, whether it is straight away after the birth or within the first year or so. But never be afraid to ask for help if your numbness doesn’t ease up in case it is your hormones making you depressed. Best of luck.

Thanks to those who've responded. Very sleepless night and very worried about scan today! Fingers crossed...

I'm really starting to worry I'll feel like this when baby gets here.

Even the most straight forward pregnancies are exhausting for most people so when there are possible complications or difficulties, it’s even worse.

I’m the exact same gestation as you (37+4 today) and am also struggling greatly. I’ve developed heel fasciitis which essentially means it’s too agonising to walk and I’m limping in pain wherever I go, my feet are also swollen which doesn’t help. I’ve lost the ability to sleep due to being up 20 times a night to pee and also general anxiety. I’ve become overly paranoid about baby’s movements and convinced at times I have lost him. I’m permanently terrified I’ll go into labour before my elective c-section in eleven days time. It’s utterly draining and I’m so looking forward to his arrival now it’s untrue.

Don’t beat yourself up about not enjoying it, pregnancy is exhausting and at times you can feel like it’s never going to end but thankfully it does.

Op even if you do feel numb when baby arrives, there’s every chance it’ll pass over time and before it does, your baby just needs plenty of skin to skin, plus feeding, plus a safe place to sleep. They won’t mind whether you’re floating in some sort of mythological cloud of lavender-scented new-mum idealism, or just concentrating on not weeing on your own feet every time you stand up and crushing your suddenly-comically-huge boobs every time you lie down and blinking in the face of the seismic change that just happened.

I think the best thing to do is let go of the idealised image of motherhood that society seems to push on us, and allow it to unfold as what it actually is, which is a real, raw, imperfect, messy and deeply human experience.

Thinking of you, hoping you had a better day, how did your scan go?

Me OP. I was so done with everything and the stress of getting everything ready, as DH had decided he didn't want to do any DIY himself at all. I was laying new floors to replace old tatty carpet at 8m pregnant on my own.

By the end of it I was just spent and I couldn't have cared less. It was just something happening and I didn't care about it anymore.