Hiding Spending?

[Gypsyboy]

I bought a bag over £100 a few weeks ago and I've been keeping it at work and using it here so my partner doesn't find out until it looks used. My colleagues think I'm mental for it but I've already spent quite a lot

AIBU hiding it (light hearted)?

Is he spending £100 on himself every so often?

If your partner thinks so, and he has more information about your joint financial state and saving goals than we do, then maybe he is right.

You've agreed to save. You've got money for treats. Did this £100 come out of your spending budget or is it extra?

You can't just spend however you like if you've agreed to share all money, budget and save. If you don't like it then change the arrangement. Split bills proportionately and then keep your money for you. It's a selfish, odd way to live when you're meant to be in a partnership but it's up to you what you want.

Or, just bloody talk to him and say you'd like you both to have more spending money and save less.

They spend what they want to spend too, we don't go out too much so I don't see the issue until the reaction from pp.

It's been quite eye opening...I'm not happy with myself that I've made them look odd to colleagues. We were all having a laugh about it but I guess there was genuineness in their WTFing

By the repeated use of they the DP is probably a woman. And the principle stays the same.

Don’t start off married life without honesty in your relationship.

It came out of mine I guess but we don't separate as such. I mentioned it to a few friends and they don't get it as they don't care if their partner spends their own money

My mom used to hide purchases because my dad was abusive and denying her and the kids things like clothes that fit because it meant spending money was part of that abuse

If you have an actual healthy partnership, you are being ridiculous.

gypsyboy I don't think yabu. My dh is the same so I have bought things and hidden them away u til a later date. We keep our money separate (except joint bills), have the same treat money each, earnings are pretty equal, just I'm a spender and he's a saver. I would never question anything he bought for himself but he does to me, not to be nasty or controlling but just because he can be very anxious about money. It's not the end of the world if the rest of your relationship is healthy.

Yes, I’d find that very weird.

I’d assume that either you have a spending/debt problem that you’re trying to hide, or your husband is very controlling or financially abusive.

looks at numerous shoes that I definitely passed off to OH as "had them ages"

He wouldn't be angry, I just don't want his eye rolling and "did you need them though" chat. It's not an issue in our relationship, and our relationship is healthy. But I often don't disclose quiiiiiite the full price, or maybe say "oh yeah had that ages just dug it out bottom of wardrobe" often. 

Apologies, realise I’ve said “husband” but spotted you didn’t give a gender, and also mentioned an upcoming marriage, so “husband” probably doesn’t apply on at least one count.

I sometimes feel guilty buying yet another bag but then DH will say that he needs a new lens for his camera which is expensive but that is no different really to me getting a bag but I doubt he feels guilty about it