To ask for help with imposter syndrome?

[Teachtolive]

I'm self diagnosing here but I wonder if anyone can help me? I've been in my career 10 years, it's all generally fine but whenever anyone asks me about my methods and mine differ wildly from there's, or I'm going much faster than they are, I immediately start going to pieces thinking I'm doing it all wrong. I'm very open to constructive criticism but I just feel like everyone's thinking "she can't be doing that right if she's getting through it so fast" and I spend days with my guts churning over it. Please help!

I think we need some more details.... Is this the only part of your life you feel this way? When don't you feel like this? Do you otherwise enjoy your professional role?

I'm fine 80% of the time. Work is the only area I feel this way, but if someone asks me to justify the way I do things, even though I know it works for me, I panic. I spend ages chewing over it all and presume I've somehow got it all wrong and I'm going to be exposed as absolutely rubbish. Again, 10 years in and this hasn't happened I just don't know how to shut down these feelings

I found Amy Cuddy's 'Fake it til you become it' TED talk really helpful and I also have done some NLP which has been a real game changer in helping me understand why I think like you describe and how to challenge those negative thought processes.

Learn the jargon and theorist's names. Say things like 'really, I found in his/her later unknown work that ....' 99% are also faking it too, and won't knowanyway!

Most other people suffer from imposter syndrome, too! So when they ask “how are you doing this so fast” what they are thinking is “shit, why am I so slow - I must be doing this wrong”. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Are your results ok? Do you get good feedback from line managers? Are you happy and satisfied with the overall quality of your work? Then all is well.

When training, one of my trainers always said “as long as they’re still letting you enter the building in the morning you’re good”.

Should have looked at your username... all teachers suffer from imposter syndrome, welcome to the club!

Acopyofacopy really?? I feel like the only one. Everyone else seems so confident! I'm confident in class and the kids work well for me. Outside I'm a jellyfish!

NLP is a very interesting idea, must look into it!

I feel like the only one

Welcome to the club. I do not think i know anyone, well anyone kind and decent, who does not have IS in at least some areas of their life. Recognising it, noticing when it is driving you, is the first step to getting through it.

Ha, it’s a well kept secret! I went on a course once where a very highly respected subject specialist talked about imposter syndrome and how they suffer from it. They asked who else did and the whole big venue raised their hands. It was eye opening, everybody is faking confidence. Teachers are very good actors!

Agree with Acopyofacopy

Teaching is acting so much of the time.

I was at an event recently with 30+ adults, male and female. We did a big brainstorming exercise on what holds us back. Starting out with three ideas of our own, then pairing off and narrowing the ideas down and repeating the process until we had whittled over 100 ideas down to one everyone agreed on.

Imposter syndrome was unanimously the thing everyone felt was holding them back. I was really surprised as I didn't think it was that common and felt self-conscious even writing it down and explaining it to my first partner. It was a powerful realisation that others feel the same and I don't feel so alone when I doubt myself now.

Had a recent discussion about this with friends. We all have professional jobs in the same company, but different departments. Turns out we are all suffering from this, while amazed that each other feels that way. I have terrible fear of being found out! I found the headspace app good for calming the nerves and helping me get out of the cycle of going over stuff in the evenings.

DH has this. It's made life very hard on and off over the years. He has a fantastic job but is terrified he'll be tapped on the shoulder and told to leave due to him winging it for the last 27 years.

I flipped a while ago as I was fed up with the air of general malaise which hung over him from it and pervaded our everyday lives and he's been to see a psychologist and hypnotherapist and it's changed his life.

Not specifically for imposter syndrome, but one thing that helps me cope with the stress of teaching and everyday life is “The Daily Stoic”. The philosophy really resonates with me and helps me stay calm(-ish).

One way to beat imposter syndrome is to play to your strengths. If you’re good at writing volunteer to be secretary for all of your bosses governance committees — you will be visible to senior managers and your career could fly. If you’re good at presentations then set up situations where you are demomstrating this - face to face meetings, onboarding or info sessions for other colleagues, coffees with colleagues, working lunches.

That’s the secret and the main way men and women differ. Men tend to play to their strengths while women try to improve their weaknesses; and really we should just get out there and do what we do best.

Wow, I can't believe how prevalent this is! Especially in teaching- I would never have guessed. Somehow that makes me feel quite relieved. Thank you all for the tips on dealing with it though, definitely gives me some hope!

Imposter syndrome affects only people who know enough about their job/skill set to know where they are lacking. People who do not know enough to know where there gaps are tend to be overconfident and to assess their ability as considerably higher than it truly is. It's an actual thing: the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Oh dear god, THEIR GAPS ... I blame the pint of cider on an empty stomach....

@TheMShip thank you for giving me the confidence I actually know what I am doing 

In my experience almost every woman (and quite a few men) experience impostor syndrome at some point - at least in a professional environment.

I've got raging impostor syndrome despite being very successful in my job and getting nothing but positive feedback. There is always a little voice in my head saying "they'll finally realise you have no clue what you're doing - run!".

My strategy for dealing with this is compartmentalizing. I acknowledge that the voice is there but choose to ignore it. It probably helps me be better at my job because I'm always on my toes.

Mship someone only recently mentioned Dunning-Kruger to me. It's fascinating!

Double Helix you sound a lot stronger in the face of your voice than I am with mine! But I take on board what you're saying.

I am mulling this idea that everyone has imposter syndrome. I don't think I have it because i tend to undershoot. I don't go for the top job, just the job I am comfortable with. I may not have all the answers on a day-to-day basis but I know how to deal with that and find it.

I imagine people who have imposter syndrome are those who have been promoted above their own perception of their abilities and they don't think they deserve it.