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AIBU?

"the popular girls"

6 replies

AjasLipstick · 17/10/2018 13:13

Does anyone have a child of ten-ish who is and always has been one of these?

I have two DDs. The eldest has a lovely group of mates....she's always had friends but usually a small group...and is now part of a very nice gang. The younger is always and has always been very "in demand" Lots of playdate and party invitations, kids queuing up to play with her.

She's a lovely girl...according to her teacher she's very kind and thoughtful. But she's SO full on in other ways. Never stops talking, VERY determined and bolshy....a bit "her way or the highway" type of thing.

What I wondered was this. Is there a personality type that fits in that "popular" thing?

I've not got very good social skills at all so it's all strange to me. I'm trying to work out how to help her manage herself better. Her temper is bad at times especially if she doesn't get her own way.

If your child is one of these popular types, can you please tell me their characteristics?

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NorthEndGal · 17/10/2018 13:20

I was, and my daughter (now grown) was like this growing up.
Being loud and bolshy is seen as bad by adults, but to kids who don't judge, it's just someone being fun, loud, confident and self assured.
I was always the ideas girl, who came up with the plans of what we would do that day. Other kids loved it. I'm sure most of their parents couldn't stand me.
I led kids astray.
Try as hard as I did to get dd to be more mellow, it didnt happen. Shed always been a feisty, outgoing ring leader , it's just her nature.
Both of us settled down in the later teen years (mostly, haha) but we both still have dominant personality traits, and people are drawn to that.

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AjasLipstick · 17/10/2018 13:25

God help me. That offers little consolation! Grin I've had a right time with her recently! Might be hormones too I suppose!

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Gingerninj · 17/10/2018 13:37

DD has always been popular at school. I think most popular kids tend to have quite loud, out going personalities, confidence and prefer to be the leader, so they stand out more than others. Which sums to my DD well. She was a bit quieter when she was younger but once she got to her last couple years of primary and starting secondary school she really came out of her shell. She's 14 now and seems get more difficult by the day, especially when she doesn't get her own way like your DD

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AjasLipstick · 17/10/2018 13:41

It's tricky isn't it? Like the flip side of the coin. I think, before I had DC if you'd asked me "Do you want your child to be popular?" I'd have said of course! But you don't realise that the personality type is so full-on!

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FabricBug · 17/10/2018 13:55

My middle DD (8) is very popular she's not loud or that talkative. She's easy going but strong willed if she sets her mind on something she won't stop till she's done it but not in a bad way. She seems to make friends everywhere from airports to a queue at the post office! Takes her 10 minutes to leave school because everyone has to say bye to her. Out of all 3 (there all pretty easy going) of my DC she is the easiest and I hope that doesn't change Shock.

DD1 has a nice group of friends we swapped schools at the beginning of term and she seems to be popular after the new kid effect has worn off and she's loud, can be hard work if you don't know how to approach her but that's hormones. She always made friends with adults as a small child.

DC3 has just started reception she's popular but her personality is more similar to DC2 and has always found friends wherever she is.

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Quipsandquotes · 17/10/2018 14:22

My niece is very popular. She's a confident and friendly girl but is definitely not loud or bolshy. All her school reports comment on how kind she is, and I've never heard her say anything nasty or bitchy about anyone.

I think maybe there's a difference between being 'cool' and 'admired' and being really liked by everyone. Of course, the two aren't mutually exclusive and maybe your daughter is both.

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