To speak with school over this? Did I overreact?

[Breadfoam]

Or have I overreacted?

Ds is 9 and in year 5. He has some SEN - likely dyspraxia and likely high functioning autism which we are having assessments for. He is a very easy target to the other children and we’ve had problems other years with one specific boy getting others to gang up on ds.

Ds is mainly friendly with the girls as he finds the boys silly and they don’t follow the school rules which bothers ds with his black / white outlook.
Yesterday he was sat with the girls at playtime and the boy we’ve had issues with before came over with some others and started to jump on ds. Then the boy was saying ‘ooh look at X with all his girlfriends. He wants to have sex with them. He’s having sex with them all. X loves having sex with girls’
Ds was upset because the girls then moved and seemed reluctant to play with him and he’s worried if the girls won’t play with him he won’t have any friends. He was also embarrassed by what this boy was saying.
I’ve already mentioned it to school who seem to be taking it seriously but now I wonder if I’ve overreacted. I mean kids are silly aren’t they? They just do silly things. Ds wanted me to say something but now he’s upset because he doesn’t want to speak to his teacher himself as he finds the whole thing embarrassing!

Should I have left it?

You did the right thing, it’s bullying.

No. As an isolated incident, yes maybe but this isnt an isolated incident.

No you did exactly the right thing. It’s mean and bullying and also would possibly ring alarm bells about what this other child is hearing at home.

Good for you. I’d follow up with an email too.

“Specific boy getting others to hang up”
Put that in writing and TELL School that you look forward to hearing what interventions they will Ben putting in place to combat this.

I believe this child has three older siblings and I think they are all mid to late teens.
I suspect that is where he has heard it.
Last year, aged 7, he was asking everyone who they ‘liked to shag’ so he seems to have quite an advanced vocab.

YANBU I'd have spoken to the teachers, my son was similarly provoked and piled on by kids with a more worldly view of life.

Yes ds is naive. He knows what it means of course but he doesn’t have a suitable retort or a thick skin. He just gets upset.

YADNBU at what age does bullying become unacceptable. If this child has any hope of being a decent member of society he needs teaching what behaviours are unacceptable from the beginning. Just as you son needs to learn that there are arseholes everywhere you look and you have to stand up for yourself.

No you didn’t. I’ve been in a similar position where there was a boy who manipulated the majority of boys to pick on other children in the class. There were one or two main targets but everyone got ‘picked’ on in turn. It was really upsetting to see DS and other children really upset going into school. It was tackled as the parents realised what was happening and put pressure on the school to resolve it. It was onlyat that point that the school realised he full scale and focused on tackling it. It is s lot better now but this week I had to mention to the teacher about things that had happened this week. The things themselves weren’t that bad but given the history i didn’t want it to escalate again. You did the right thing - I would keep the pressure up and maybe ask a couple of parents you trust if they have any issues. This is a Year 4 class.