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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask DP for rent?

104 replies

FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 02:54

We’ve been together a year.

I am a homeowner, he is not. We’ve been talking about living together abs exploring options such as renting my place out and renting a bigger place together.

However my house is ample big for the both of us and so it makes more sense for him to move in.

We are now talking about how to work this out financially. Rental for a similar place would be £1000 per month.

WIBU to suggest he pays £500 a month inclusive of all bills? Or is that grabby?

WWYD?

OP posts:
TooMuchTidying · 17/10/2018 02:57

Not grabby, just smart.

Get something in writing as well.

Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 02:58

What's the mortgage monthly?

Original poster
FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 02:58

What do you mean by getting something in writing?

OP posts:
Original poster
FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 02:59

Mortgage is £700 per month

OP posts:
Antigon · 17/10/2018 03:00

Not grabby at all.

You should protect yourself legally so that he can't claim that he helped pay the mortgage and so is entitled to a share of your house.

Is there a mortgage?

Antigon · 17/10/2018 03:01

Cross post.

Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 03:01

Does 'all bills' include the food shop?

Original poster
FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 03:02

No, not food shop. Council tax, energy, WiFi etc

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 03:02

But it doesn't matter what you call it. He IS contributing to your mortgage.

Original poster
FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 03:03

Utilities in other words

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 03:03

Are your bills excluding food £300 a month?

TooMuchTidying · 17/10/2018 03:03

See a solicitor and document your agreement. He is contributing towards living costs, not paying down your mortgage. You don't want him to be able to make a claim on your property if you split.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/10/2018 03:05

OF COURSE HE SHOULD PAY HALF.

I apologise for "screaming" but do you really think otherwise?

He will live there 50/50, and he must pull his weight, unless you want a useless cocklodger to look after.

And you would be crazy not to stay in the property you already own. It is more than adequate. In terms of getting things in writing, this is very important. He will be a tenant, not someone who can try to claim ownership of YOUR property.

Original poster
FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 03:05

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic @TooMuchTidying?

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 03:07

Do you see him as being a lodger? I wouldn't move in with someone who saw me that way. No chance.

Original poster
FairOrNot18 · 17/10/2018 03:10

What would you suggest I do then @Thisreallyisafarce ?

OP posts:
Spanglyprincess1 · 17/10/2018 03:16

Me n dp do this , yes it's unromantic but life isnt always romantic really. He has signed a legal document confirming he is not entitled to equity in the property and I am sole owner.
I have to protect myself legally for not only mine but my son's sake

Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 03:18

I'm not suggesting anything as such. Personally, I would only give up my own security of tenancy if I were confident that my partner and I were moving towards a fully equal relationship, in which I contributed to the mortgage and was building up equity. These days I doubt I would move in with someone unless engaged.

Antigon · 17/10/2018 03:19

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic @TooMuchTidying?

Are you serious?

lovac · 17/10/2018 03:23

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic

A big part of relationships is working out the practicalities of two people sharing their lives. Not everything you do in one has to be "romantic".

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2018 03:24

Honestly I think there's normally a reasonable, ethical, fair answer to most questions. But not this one.

If he pays half the mortgage but doesn't get a share of the house, it's good for you but shit for him. And weird because he's paying for your house. And legally dodgy.

If he pays market rate it's great for you but he's a lodger who is funding your house. He never gets a share but isn't funding his own future. Plus it's a bit yummy because he's paying you market rate and you're shagging.

If he only pays food, utilities and so on, it's great for him but he looks like a cock-lodger.

I really think there's no 'right' answer.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2018 03:25

Yukky not yummy

MozzieMagnet · 17/10/2018 03:29

How much is he paying in his current place?
Do you see this going somewhere long term and if so, would you want him on the deeds? Has he savings, can he afford to pay you half of what's been paid off already?

QueenLaqueefa · 17/10/2018 03:29

Today 03:05 FairOrNot18

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic @TooMuchTidying?

fair
This is not about romance, this is about you protectinghmmmm

Monty27 · 17/10/2018 03:30

Potential cocklodger. Don't believe a word he says.
Just why would he do that? Other than cheap rent. Don't Bank on it.
He sounds calculating to me Hmm

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