Party invites

[hello1233]

NC for this as I know people on here.

I've sent out invites to my DSs bday party. He will be 7. Not one reply from any of them. Sent them out 3 days ago in book bags at school.

I'm worried that nobody will turn up and he'll be heartbroken. I wish I'd never organised the party in the first place.

I don't know any of their mums to just walk up and ask them. And that might be weird anyway? I always respond to invites in my DCs bags whether we can make it or not. AIBU to have expected people to reply? I don't know what to do. Can't take him to his party where none of his friends turn up

Thanks for the replies, feel a bit calmer now but still shocked at how many don't reply straight away! I just check the calendar and then reply as soon as I get it out of the book bag.

I'll try and speak to a couple of the parents today without looking too neurotic

This used to do my head in! I used to send out the party invites a few weeks before the party to give everyone time to respond. I worked full time so was never able to chase up parents in the playground and didn't have contact numbers. I never knew how many party bags to do or how many to cater for.

Don't worry, I am quite sure most of them will turn up, even if they are rude and don't reply. Worse still is when they turn up with a younger sibling and say they know you won't mind if little Joey also stays or they ask for an extra party bag for younger siblings 😡. Luckily I always had some spare bags but I was always gobsmacked by the cheek of some people!

I thank God my DS is now 18 and I am passed all this nonsense!

IME most parents respond with a couple of days to go, and the rest leave you guessing (though most come). Chill.

Sending them in the book bag is a bit of an issue with small children

Mine used to do 50/50 with my ex and if they were at his, he would take the invite out, set it on the side at his house, never reply and I never saw it.

So I never knew there was a party invite to reply to.

There was a,so a particularly bad year where I was caring for a dying relation, in a very stressful job with a 90 minute each way commute due to moving house at short notice after a traumatic event and to be honest party invites weren’t top of my list of things to do.

We sent out invites a few weeks ago and still have recieved about 12 replies.

*haven't recieved 12 replies.

As others have said 3 days is too soon to expect replies - particularly at this age (when they get older the children tend to chivvy their parents to reply more quickly!). I expect lots of people have looked at the date, seen it is 4 weeks away and filed it under "worry about after half term" in their heads.

However, if you did want to, it would be perfectly ok for you to ask your DS to point out "Sam"'s mum and go up to her and say "Hi, I'm x's mum, I know it's a while away yet but I was just trying to get a rough idea of numbers for the party, do you think Sam will be able to come?". You'll probably end up having to do that with the last stragglers anyway!

I agree that 3 days isn't long . In answer to your your question I don't think it would be weird to ask parents. It may be a good way to break the ice with them - a simple hello I'm XXX mum - just wondered if you got the invite for his party... Would really appreciate if you could let me know asap as need to book - this wouldn't them on the spot as much they could text you later..

Do you have a class contact list?
My son is in kindy so we are obviously new at school but there is a class list of all the kids and parents and an email/phone number which is shared on the class Facebook group.

The most popular kind of invite is via email using someone like paperless post.

It's super easy to rsvp and then add to calendar.

I wouldn’t let me contact details be shared on Facebook on any kind of class contact list. Sorry but I like to control who I give my number to.

If the party is in 4 weeks then I wouldn't reply either yet. I don't plan my schedule that far in advance. I would work it out with one to two weeks to go, it isn't rudeness, it's having a busy or unpredictable life!

For goodness sake it’s been 3 days!!!

Not everyone has their life to planned in such detail that we know what we’re doing in 4 weeks time. I work weekends and don’t always have someone to take my children to a party so I have to work out if they can go. Or I might have vague plans that haven’t been confirmed yet. Or they’ve got swimming lessons or whatever. Or you know, plain old life gets in the way and I forget until the following week.

🙄

Stop stressing.

I find the people who respond straight away usually can’t come. The others take their time!!

I’m sure he will have a lovely party and you’ll be wishing you hadn’t invited so many!!

Regarding people who don't reply I'd just cater for people who do reply. It's their fault if they don't

I put my daughter's invitations in to the book bags a month before the party (with an rsvp date of 1 week before party). The vast majority replied after 1 or 2 weeks, for some it was 3 weeks. These days no one seems to reply within a few days. If people haven't replied a week before I usually set up a WhatsApp group and send a friendly message saying "Hi i hope you all got the invitations. I need to confirm numbers with the venue now. Please let me know if your little one can come by the end of the day". One person still didn't respond (a family that always blank me for some reason!) so I just assumed the girl wasn't coming.

If it makes you better, it's not just a school age/parent/DC party thing! Part of my job is events administration- collecting payments/attendee paperwork etc. If I had "cancelled the place" of everyone who didn't get their stuff back to me by the requested date or a couple of days later, as was the original plan, I would have had 8/46 people! And this is a for a skills course that people had to win places to attend. It starts on Sat & we are still waiting to see if some people are still coming.

The last one we had people not turn up & people not on the list rock up. I hope you get replies OP. I'd start chasing after half term if you get no/very few replies by the 3rd day back.

I think this is fairly normal, though I agree that it isn't helpful for the organising parent!

I am holding parties for two of my children this Sunday (ie in 4 days time). We invited a total of 40 kids to the two parties and have had responses from about 8. This is about normal in my far too extensive party-running experience.

One party is at an external venue where I don't have to confirm numbers, so the only 'overhead' that needs me to know is party bags. I'll keep them simple and low cost, and make enough for the non-responders too.

The other party is at home, and is taking a lot more effort to organise. We will be doing things that need me to buy things, so I am currently spending money that might be entirely wasted. The "home" party is working out more expensive than the venue party, as 8 year old boys will need more than musical statues to keep them entertained!

It's sucks, but short of emailing/texting/finding the partners in the playground, there isn't anything you can do.

I do think 3 days from invite, and 4 weeks from the party is far far too early to worry though! I'd start chasing with about 7-10 days to go (depending on the deadline for confirming numbers).

Worse still is when they turn up with a younger sibling

The sibling thing is my main reason for not RSVPing immediately once I’ve checked the calendar for other prior arrangements.
Can’t do drop and run parties yet as DS1 has SEN and DS2 is too young.

DH works some weekends, so when we get an invite I have to check with him whether he’s working, and if he is, I have to call grandparents etc to see if anyone can keep an eye on siblings while I take invited DC to the party. And that can easily take a couple of days if I’m waiting for people to get back to me with their availability.

The party isn't for 4 weeks yet but I've to confirm numbers with the party venue before that.

If you didn't tell them this then how would they know what your deadline is?

You only sent them 3 days ago and the party is in 4 weeks?
Relax it's far too soon to start panicking.
3 days before my sons party I was still waiting for 10 parents to respond.
I sent a message on out WhatsApp group explaining that I needed to confirm with the venue (as stated on the invite) and I would be doing so at 3 o'clock so anyone who hadn't responded could they please do so.
Everyone did except for two who didn't turn up.

Most of the invites are probably still in the book bags/coat pockets/been through the wash. Make new ones and hand them to the parent /carer. Do not rely on 6/7 year olds to pass them on. It won't happen!!!

It took 4 days for the teacher to give out DD2s invitations recently...it's just not as important to others as it is to us but waiting for those elusive RSVPs is sodding annoying!

I also did a back-up invitation on the class Facebook group we have running. Not everyone is a member but enough of the parents who are regularly on the school run are so I mentioned that it's a whole class invitation. That helps get the word around too.

This was the first time I've had a 100% RSVP rate (whether accept/decline it's good to know) so whilst Facebook increasingly annoys me, using it as a tool for class messages seems to make it's existence worthwhile for the next few years at least.

Thanks all. We don't have a Facebook group, whatsapp or anything like that. But I'll try and chill out.

I always respond straight away but seems that's not really the norm!

I sent out invites to my dd's birthday 5 weeks before the party and no one replied for the first week and then they came in dribs and drabs after that with a flurry of them the week before the party. When I got no reply during the first week I was worried that no one would come to her party but in the end 15 out of the 17 invited made it (much to my relief)!!!

I'm still waiting for 30 replies for a party that happened in July!