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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask advice about keeping my SN son safe on halloween

44 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/10/2018 17:57

Please could anyone share thoughts on ensuring my son's safety/peace of mind around halloween? The situation is as follows (and please don't "out" me if anyone recognises this):

He lives alone, renting a house I own
Carers visit 3 times a day, for about an hour each time
House is in inner city area (he can't drive, so needs walking access to city)
House has paved front garden area, with a gate from the street
He has learning difficulties and is partially sighted
He copes brilliantly in the house, but likes routine and to know who's visiting

I'm getting a bit worried about folk ringing the door and worrying him by playing unwelcome tricks. Obviously I'll put up a big sign to say no callers and of course there won't be decoration/pumpkins at the front of the house, but sadly this doesn't always work

The carers are going to look out for him of course, and I'll be visiting plenty of times myself, but does anyone have any other ideas about what I should be doing?

OP posts:
Partyfops · 16/10/2018 17:59

Could he go to yours for the evening on the 31st?

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 16/10/2018 18:00

Have him at yours, your you ate his for the night.

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 16/10/2018 18:01

that should read "Or you at his for the night"

CherieBabySpliffUp · 16/10/2018 18:01

Could he ignore the door?

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 16/10/2018 18:01

I've been invited to my sisters for the 31st

Oysterbabe · 16/10/2018 18:02

Go to his or have him over at yours.

Mulberry72 · 16/10/2018 18:03

Agree with PP’s, invite him to yours for the evening?

Reaa · 16/10/2018 18:04

I would not put up a sign saying anything as this might make him more of a target.

I would either have someone with him for the whole day/from early evening or have him stay with a family member or friend.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/10/2018 18:04

If your that concerned, definitely have him over to yours for that evening.

LivininaBox · 16/10/2018 18:05

Sometimes the police distribute a sign for people to use, thus might gave more impact than your own sign?

If the callers are from a local school you could email the head and ask them to say something in assembly (not about your son in particular but about only calling on people you know or who gave a pumpkin out)

araiwa · 16/10/2018 18:06

Disconnect bell

But if you think this is going to be a problem then id be postponing sister

Knitwit101 · 16/10/2018 18:07

Definitely don't put up a sign. In our neighbourhood if your house is dark at the front with no decorations no-one will knock but maybe that's not enough in your area?
Take him out to the cinema for the evening?
Halloween is my least favourite night of the year too. I hate people knocking at my food.

Hidillyho · 16/10/2018 18:08

I wouldn’t put any signs up, it will draw more attention. We just sit with the lights off to the front of the house and don’t get any callers. Alternatively, either go to his or have him to yours for dinner. Halloween usually dies down around 8ish (although I live in a small town so might be different here)

Hidillyho · 16/10/2018 18:09

I hate people knocking at my food

Me too. It really puts me off my dinner Grin

JosellaPlayton · 16/10/2018 18:09

I wouldn’t put up a sign, this might attract more trouble than just appearing as if he’s not home. If possible, I’d have him to yours for the evening. Or you go over to his but whilst Halloween etiquette dictates only knocking at decorating houses, he may still get some knocks at the door and I don’t know if that would still upset him?

Oysterbabe · 16/10/2018 18:13

Can't he come to his aunt's house?

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/10/2018 18:14

Thanks so far, everyone - I didn't expect so many to reply!!

I'd thought of having him over to mine on the 31st, but that won't really address the callers on the run up to it. Round here it usually spreads over more than a week, and he loves being there so much he's unlikely to want to leave for that long

It's a good point about signs suggesting someone vulnerable lives there; I might ask the neighbours if they use them too, so he wouldn't stand out, IYSWIM?

I believe the local school are pretty good about guidelines, though it's not really the primary ones I'm thinking of, more teenagers who aren't always keen on being told what to do

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 16/10/2018 18:17

I definitely wouldn't put signs up. That's asking for trouble. Is he not capable of understanding the instruction not to answer the door?

Aeroflotgirl · 16/10/2018 18:17

Yes signs, you can get them from e bay. just tell him to keep the lights off. Round here there is a rule, no trick or treating at houses with no Halloween decoration.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/10/2018 18:19

Disconnect bell

Now that's a good idea ... he can't "not answer" because of the carers coming, but I could maybe arrange for them to have an extra key to let themselves in for that week

TBH he wouldn't like that much either, but it's a lot better than expecting the carer at the door and getting a hulking teenager in a horror mask

OP posts:
BananaBonanza · 16/10/2018 18:20

Close and lock the gate. Even if it's a low gate, if it's not the easiest house to get to the front door, people are less likely to bother. Block the path with flower pots etc.

Maccycheesefries · 16/10/2018 18:22

My elderly neighbour puts a stool out with a bowl of sweets on it with a help yourself sign. Could your son's carers sort something like that out? Nobody rings on her doorbell but do take a few sweets instead.

Aeroflotgirl · 16/10/2018 18:23

I have never hear of them coming early, not in our area, there are some that are so disrespectful. My dd 11 has ASD and learning difficulties, she wants to go trick or treating this year Confused, I normally dress them up and hand sweets to the kids. I am dreading it, but will only go to houses with decoration.

BlankTimes · 16/10/2018 18:23

On the night itself, which is the only night here with any door-knocks etc. we all used to go out from 5.30 until 10pm. Meal and cinema took care of most of that time, all quiet as most were out trick or treating. . Could you do similar?

Round here it usually spreads over more than a week
That's terrifying for anyone who doesn't like unannounced callers. Think I'd pay someone to sit with him from getting dark until the silliness ends each night. Or have him stay at mine for a week.

Could you lock the gate, or would that "provoke" unwanted callers?

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/10/2018 18:24

Is he not capable of understanding the instruction not to answer the door?

He is, yes, but telling him the reason may well freak him out for the future and I'd worry he might start refusing to open up for the carers

And he doesn't have an aunt, Oysterbabe - I'm an only child, as is he Wink

OP posts: