The lack of care at my sons school.

[fruitshot]

Bit of an awkward situation.

My son was involved in an altercation yesterday, where another child went to punch him in the face. He had physical hold of him before he broke free and the kid went to punch him. If relevant, the kids are Yr 6, so 10-11.

A dinner lady put her hand up and caught the blow, resulting in her thumb being dislocated and now she has an extensively bruised and swollen hand. It's a suspected break also, but there is too much swelling so she is having to return for further xrays once it has subsided.

It's awkward, as the dinner lady is a relative of mine, and happened to be there (she would've done the same for any child)

My relative has followed up with the school, who have not taken this any further with the child, and his class teacher was unaware it even happened. The head has told my relative that she shouldn't have intervened, and therefore the result would've been my child was punched in the face. My relative clarified this is what the head meant, that the consequence would've been a kids face, and she said yes.

The damage to the relatives hand is awful, I can only imagine how much damage that could've done to my sons face.

So I'm stuck, because I want the school to do something about this child's behaviour, but feel like I am in a difficult situation because it's my relative. I feel like my complaint is unjust because it didn't happen to my son and it was averted by my relative, and equally I am furious they haven't done anything about their staff member being injured and also the fact they actively told her she should've let my son be hit.

AIBU to take this to the governors? Would you include the information you know because of your relative?
To make it clear, she didn't tell me who the other child was, my son did on pick up when he came out worried about his injured relative and that it was all his fault.

The child and their hitting needs to be dealt with, following the school behaviour policy. Your relative would be within her rights to complain via the complaints process for staff, or her union if this doesn't happen.

The fact that the child tried to punch your child needs to be dealt with. Why did it happen? How is the school going to protect your child from future attempts to hit him?

However, the head is (technically) correct to suggest that the decision to intervene physically was your relative's decision. No staff member is obligated to do this.

My most recent safeguarding taught me that you can use reasonable force to stop a worse injury occurring, so I don’t feel like our relative was in the wrong

Your relative*

AmateurSwami

You certainly can. But you don't have to. The Head is probably making that distinction.

The relative knew that from the height of the kid and the way the punch was being thrown, it was going for the face, so she put her hand up to block the fist.
The dislocation and the bruising is extensive. Had that of been my sons face, it most certainly could've broken a nose.

Agreed she didn't have to, she said she felt it was better her hand take the hit than a child's face.

fruitshot

And that was good of her, but the head is right: she didn't have to do it. It isn't part of her job.

Right, so the Head is correct. She could have chosen not to intervene, and yes, your child would have been hurt, but that wouldn't have been her fault.

True. It's not.

The child shouldn't also be using physical force.
I think my issue lays with the fact the behaviour isn't being dealt with because it hit a member of staff and not my son.

Yes, that sounds really poor. No particular reason why not? And are you certain the Head is doing nothing at all? As the member of staff, I would call a formal meeting with the Head with my union rep present if necessary, and insist the published policy of the school was followed. If the child was ten, I would consider police involvement.

The relative received no call from the school yesterday when she had to leave and be taken to a&e

She went in today and asked for a follow up, and the head said "to what?"

The relative explained the incident and then the rest is as above.

The class teacher was unaware of the issue, and my relative informed him at lunch today where he said he will look into it.

Then your relative needs to stand up for herself.

Isn't 10 the age of criminal responsibility in England (assuming that's where you are)? Then your relative has been assaulted and in my opinion has every right to go to the police. I think I would mention to the Head that I was going to the police station to report it. Lots of Heads don't like the idea of violence at their school and this might spur them into action. I'd report it anyway...

I'm a TA and would have done the same as your relative. I had to stand between two year 6 boys the other week. I didn't get hurt and it stopped the either boy from being attacked. Both boys' parents were spoken to after school and the perpetrator was internally excluded for 2 days. I had to write a report on the matter. These things need to be addressed.

I wouldn't say it is assault on your relative. She put her hand in the way of the punch. It's what happens when you are protecting children. But the school should have had the boy's parents in and some kind of discipline need to tale place. Any injuries at work need to be recorded.

*some kind of punishment/sanction needs to be given to the child who did it.

I would go to the head as you are aware that your child was to be hit. Then governors.

Thisreallyisafarce

Ok I see what you mean.

This is tough. I’d have done the same as the relative but I guess risked an injury.

I work with older students who could easily knock me out so I have to keep back but if I choose to intervene I have to be aware of levels of force I used for the sake of the students. Minefield.

Cambalamb

I don't think that matters. The intent to injure was clear. The child just got the wrong person.

Obviously it's not customary to criminalise children over fights in the canteen, but a crime has been committed.

AmateurSwami

Absolutely. I work with older students too and I have been absolutely clear with more than one of them in contentious situations: "Put a hand on me or my property and you can forget exclusion; I'll be calling the police."

It's not your place to complain. Your relative needs to do so if she feels it hasn't been dealt with adequately.

I'm not sure the school would have to tell her how its followed up either?

I am a midday supervisor.
I have had the relevant training in managing physical and potential aggression.
Staff should never get in the firing line but find other ways to approach the situation.
The school should provide the Middays with this training really, but most don't.
She will have to put it down to experience this time.

If there was a criminal charge, it would not be a defence to claim that the child intended to hit someone else and the TA was only hurt because she intervened. The same principle should apply so far as the school is concerned.

However, from you point of view you need to concentrate on the fact that this child was about to hit your son, and it looks as if it would have been quite a hard blow that could have caused him serious injury. I'd suggest you ask for a meeting with the head, and beforehand get hold of the school's safeguarding and discipline policies: make it clear that the purpose of the meeting is to talk to the head about what they are doing to keep your child safe from the child in question in future.

Thanks @Volant

I was interested to hear opinions on how I should handle it in respect of my son also, so thanks.

Two boys got into a scuffle, an adult intervened and got hurt. No crime has been committed by anyone! A dislocated digit will result in extensive bruising and swelling,. Ito doesn't need much force to cause a dislocation, just a bit of pressure in the right place. The adult could not know for certain that the other child would be hit in the face, she could only guess.
The Head responded a bit lamely, they should have followed it up with a phone call to the member of staff if they knew they had gone to hospital. The member of staff should fill in an accident form now.