Boyfriends Relationship with Daughter

[Heidini]

Desperately Seeking Advice

I am being made to feel that I am nasty and jealous of the relationship my boyfriend of 5 yrs has with his 21 yr old daughter.

I have looked really hard at myself and why we argue about this and have come to the conclusion that as a couple we do not have enough quality time together so he only has to mention he is organising a small outing with his daughter and I see red and get upset, feel threatened etc. Plus if we do go out he keeps on at me about trying this restaurant, visiting that place etc, all places his daughter keeps telling him to go to, and when we find some where nice of our own he has to then later involve his daughter. I know this all sounds so stupid and does it really matter, but I would just like us to have something special to us to make 'us feel worthwhile or am I living in a dreamworld.

He doesn't get on ( or try to) with my children so that also makes me resent his daughter as I see how nice he can be to his own children.

I have tried to talk to him and explain my feelings, which he says he understands but then its starts all over again.

I feel I am demanding too much from this relationship and the grass wouldn't be greener elsewhere but I would also quite like to breath a sigh of relief if I was ever able to move out and be on my own with my children.
I live in his house, have set up a business on his land so moving means finding a job as well, which I'm not concerned about it just makes it a lot harder than just packing a suitcase for the time being .
Mother in law has also recently bought next door to add to everything else!
Thank you for any advice or help

Heidini

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't make any effort with your children?

You two aren't well suited to one another. You should be protecting your kids from someone who doesn't like them

Yes I know I shouldn't be with someone that complains about my children all the time, just hoped it would improve. Your comments are just really making me realise I need to move on, I moved In with him as at the time it was all ok but within 6 months i could feel the atmosphere changing.

How can you have a relationship with someone who has no interest in your children?

Your relationship has no future.

He doesn’t get on with your kids? How can you possibly stay with him? There is no future in that at all!! Forget all the stuff with his daughter, you can’t reasonably be with a man that lives (presumably) with your own children if they don’t even get on. That’s hugely damaging for them.
Leave.