So fucking tired.

[Pretendingtobe]

My DP is unwell. He has been for a while, and suffers a lot of pain. I accept this is hard, and horrible.
I have an autoimmune disease that makes me very tired. It also messes up my sleep patterns. I try to go to bed early, but very often end up with DP keeping me awake. He asks me to 'tickle his back' to help him sleep. Not a problem, but honestly, it can go on for hours!
He has medication, including pain killers, but refuses to take them. I am sure he thinks it's the manly way to behave.
All well and good, but I'm sick of being exhausted due to trying to help him sleep.
I have literally just given up, and gone downstairs to get a glass of wine. I took my sleeping tablet at 9.30, so after many hours of attempted 'back tickling', I have given up on either of us sleeping well.

My ex husband also used to constantly ask to have his bloody back tickled, so this has gone on for years.
I actually asked DP to tickle my back once or twice, but he's obviously too tired.

I'm sure it's a wonderful way to doze off, but AIBU to tell him to take his medication, and let me go to sleep?

This sounds insane, reading it back, but it makes me want to scream.
I want to go to fucking sleep, FGS!

There’s nothing nicer than snuggling up all cosy in the warm having a loved one tickle your back, rub your arm, stroke your hair etc BUT if it’s you doing the tickling, rubbing or stroking it’s a total pain in the arse!!
Enjoy your glass of wine, take some deep breaths and hopefully when you go back to bed he will be sparko!

Just tell him it's affecting your sleep. If the pain is really that bad, then he will take his painkillers. If he chooses not to, then he's a grown man and can deal with the consequences. He can't expect you to spend hours rubbing his back every night when he's refusing to help himself.

Thank you. I'm doing just that!
I just wish he'd take his medication when needed, and save us both the anxiety of poor sleep.
His snoring sends me off, because I know I can stop rubbing his back. It's a vicious cycle, I think.

I'm tiptoeing back up now. I'm so tired, I could have slept on the sofa, but I'd much rather be close to DP.

Why can't men just take their prescribed medication, and stop being 'strong'.
He is amazing in every other way, but sleep deprivation is a killer.

Sleep well x

Next time he asks you to ‘tickle his back’ tell him you’re too tired. He’s being completely and utterly selfish. Get an eye mask, ear plugs, take your sleeping tablet and leave him to it. If he’s struggling that much he should take his bloody medication and stop inflicting it on you when he knows you’re unwell. And it’s particularly rich that he won’t return the favour when you ask to have your ‘back tickled’. That definitely shouldn’t fly.

Also, is this actually actually about back tickling or is it a euphemism for something else, because reading that back I’m really not sure 😉

No euphemism. TMI, but he has a colostomy bag at the moment, so our sex life is minimal.
I'm just so bloody tired.
Luckily he's snoring for England now. I'll take my chances.
Thank you all. I'll pull him up on it next time. Without guilt.
We both work full time, so, I need to function.
5 DCs. FFS.

Hope you get some sleep soon. Please ignore my dirty mind!

Your husband is a prick. He shouldn’t need you to tell him that it’s tiring to spend hours tickling his back. How is he so completely oblivious to your needs? He isn’t two!

Tell him it stops now, and you aren’t doing it again. Also tell him that you will no longer express sympathy for him or accommodate him when he isn’t taking his medication. It is the bare minimum he could be doing in this situation.

Do you have a spare room you could sleep in for a bit? Just so you get a break from D(ickhead)H? If not you’ll just have to be firm until he gets the picture.

Hope you get some decent sleep soon