'Six weeks we waited and waited for you!' AIBU or is SIL a CF?

[BunsOfAnarchy]

So SIL1 decided to berate me on a few things over the phone the other day, one of them being that it was a massive piss take that i never took my DD to my FILs until she was 6 weeks old and he waited and waited and waited for me to come over....

FIL lives with my BIL and SIL2 about a 5 min drive away.

I mean...I was a bit busy recovering from birth, trying to establish breastfeeding and generally just busy with my first born, trying to make motherhood work!....and not driving till she was about 8 weeks due to discomfort. I cant see the issue! Please tell me im not alone in wanting to live in a coccoon post birth?!

DD is 26w now.

Not RTFT but 6 weeks is a very very long time to not take your baby out?

You're obviously feeling a bit fragile and rightfully so. If she calls again I would say 'you seem to be under the mistaken impression that I give a fuck what you think. I don't' and end the call. Then block her number. You don't need people like that in your life and I hope your DH gives her an earful too.

I think it would have been slightly different if your PiL hadn't seen your new baby at all in the first six weeks but that's not the case. Who in their right mind expects a woman who is recovering from giving birth to drive to them - it's bonkers.

Oh and congrats on your new baby

Not RTFT

Seriously? There are fewer than 30 replies. Surely if you’ve got time to comment you’ve got time to read a page of replies?

She needs to do one...flippin cheek!

If your father-in-law was housebound and you hadn’t gone around, I’d think you were unreasonable.

Surely that depends on the health of the mother? I didn't go out much for a while because I wasn't well enough after the birth and complications.

YABU-i had two episiotomies and yeh they were bloody sore but 6 weeks of being ferried about and hiding in the house takes the piss.Very precious of you IMO.

Yaaaaasssss!!
Exactly!!

@CoughLaughFart I'm using the app  How am I to know how many 'pages' there are? How the hell do you know what I was doing when I read the OP? How dare you tell me what I have time for and what I don't?! Troll off!

DH told them to F off later on and not expect us to pander to their will when they should be making the effort.

Good for him.

Fuck SIL. What's it to do with her?

I'd block her number. I'm a cow though.

I'm glad yoour Dh replied to them OP, hopefully that will be the end of it. If anyone wants to see the baby, they should have called and come by. They are being total twits.

But, Powerless, you didn't even RTF opening post properly. She didn't say she hadn't been out for 6 weeks, she said she hadn't been able to drive. Not the same thing - as you would have discovered if you'd even got as far as reading her third post which was, after all, the one just above yours so not hard to find.

In my app it tells me how many replies there on a thread before I open it so I can choose a thread depending on the amount of time i have. I didn't realise other apps didn't.

I wouldn't entertain family members berating me, let alone in-laws. Just put the phone down. Don't answer next time it's her. She now has previous for being a dick to a new Mum.

ignore it

@powerless totally agree!!

She sounds like my dsis, she randomly rages about something that happened 20 years ago. Dreading her menopause/Hormonal outbursts as I am likely to tell her to FO.

Any idea why your SIL has waited until now to berate you over this?

It's not get place to say anything, but if you could visit your brother as he was only five minutes away, could you not have visited FIL who was only five minutes away and had made the effort to come and see you? Given you went to your mum's and your brother's it probably send like your family have preferential treatment and that's why she's addressed it to you but DP. Six weeks is also quite a long time to be ferried around and not leave the house in the evening.

Seems strange you couldn’t hop in the car for 5 mins? 6 weeks is rather a long time. You should be grateful that he cares enough to be bothered.

26w? Do you mean 6 months?

Why has she had a pop at you and not your dh? And what the heck is it to with her anyway? 26 weeks, I’m dying!!

YABU-i had two episiotomies and yeh they were bloody sore but 6 weeks of being ferried about and hiding in the house takes the piss.Very precious of you IMO.

Whoopie doo for you

Everyone is different. I, for example, have a stupidly high pain threshold, I would have been out and about. Other people have low pain thresholds, or they had cut/stitches in a different position to you (and I note that OP tore whereas you had episiotomies) or any other problem that makes it different to you. Just because you got out, doesn't mean that other women should do.

BigBairyHollocks - lucky you.
I had a 3C tear that took about two hours in surgery to repair and about 8 weeks to heal. I didn't drive mainly because I wouldn't have been able to move fast enough to do an emergency stop. Walking was obviously also a challenge. It happens.

Don't take any shit off SILs. Tell her you don't deal with your DH's "extended family" and if FIL has an issue, he needs to talk to you and DH himself. You don't deal with 3rd parties.

Just out of interest, why do SIL's think it is their place to give out to their DB's wives? I have 3 SILs and I would never, ever dream of pulling them up on something. I'd talk to my DB first, not them. Having an annoying SIL is even worse than an annoying MIL IMO. They can cause a lot of trouble.

YABU

I know a grandmother who has seen her first grandchild only 4 times in 3 months because her DIL doesn't like visitors. She's only seen her DGD when son and DIL need a babysitter and has to travel to them to do the babysitting, they are an hour away.

Its breaking her heart