Am I destined to be fat? Why won't I lose weight

[Abilouise]

Hi all,
Sorry for the negative post.

I have always been a big child growing up. I moved out into my first home at 17 to escape being put into care but unfortunately my younger brothers had no choice. All of us were on the bigger side due to a lifelong bad diet and our mother never cooking us meals and made us cook them everyday since I was 8.

I'm 5ft nothing and currently 14st 4lbs, so very very overweight. I left home when I was about 12st so I have got fatter since leaving. I'm 22 with a 5 year old son and 13 month old DD. I have invested in gym equipment (a bike machine, treadmill, dumbbells, a yoga mat and a yoga dvd). I have tried (and failed miserably) to sort my diet out, but it is incredibly hard to change a life long habit. I have gone from couch potato to exercising 14 hours a week. That isn't including walking when taking DS to school, DC to parks and beach etc. I'm constantly doing housework so never really sat down. I don't have breakfast, I rarely eat lunch and I seem to eat the biggest most unhealthy meal for dinner. I drink nothing but water.

I did manage to loose 3lbs in 1 week but since then hardly anything has shifted. Am I just destined to be some ugly fat thing 😥 (excuse the self pity). I hate feeling this way and I am so sick and tired of trying so hard to lose weight to hardly shed a pound. Does anyone have any weightloss tips that work? Please.

No recommendations but just to let you know you are not alone!!!

Their diet is more important to me because I believe my eating habits started in childhood so I'm doing everything possible to make sure DC don't follow suit. I don't eat with DC because DH arrives home from work at 10pm and we like to eat together.

Your children would probably benefit from you sitting and eating with them, it’s a great example to set for them. Could you split it so you eat some meals with them and some with your DH?

Can you make more of what you make for DC and heat it up for you and DH to have later? That way you don’t have to start cooking again at 10pm and less likely to resort to take away.

The main thing you need to look at though is why you are overeating. Is it habit? Eating too fast and not recognising when you are full? Knowing you are full but carrying on eating anyway? Eating a lot as you are associating it with a reward?(maybe for not eating all day) Overfiling your plate and then eating it all? Habit of going back for seconds?
If you can establish why then it’s easier to fix.

You mention that you feel disgusted with yourself for eating such a big dinner. Can you focus on how you would feel with yourself if you managed to put a smaller portion on your plate and eat only that then bed? It sounds like it would be doable as you eat so late. Can you focus on the feeling on laying in bed knowing you haven’t overeaten.

OP it sounds like you're trying really hard, but don't have much guidance up until now in terms of how to achieve what you want.

My fitness pal, portion control and considering one of the diet groups that give you a food plan are all good ideas. I bet you're exhausted and dying for an unhealthy binge in the evening because you're not fueling yourself enough during the day.

Exercising for 2 hours a day also seems like a bit much. I'd expect you're reaching a plateau in the first 30 mins - 45 mins so that much of what you do after isn't at a level to really achieve much.

Have you considered the NHS website for some nutritional and exercise advice? You're really not alone in this, its sometimes just a bit hard to know how to start.

I would cook a meal for the whole family, then either eat with your DC. If you want to keep eating with your DP then re-heat it for you both then.

If you've got a plate of good food, I doubt you'll waste it.

Just thinking about the need for something quick and easy so you're not reaching for the takeaway three times a week..... (total sympathy, takeaways are my biggest weakness!)

Could you set aside some time to batch cook and freeze so its just a case of reheating?

Or cook larger portions of whatever the kids are having, if they're eating healthy and reheat later?

Failing that, omelette and salad is my go to cba to cook tea.

It strikes me that you want your kids to eat healthy - don't you think you deserve that too? Coz you really do, y'know.

I bet if you cut down the takeaways you'd see a difference - and bound to save some money too. Little steps.

I would just like to say, you should be very proud of yourself that you have come from such beginnings to be a mother and partner, you are obviously managing your life well, the eating part is just one bit of you, try and focus on the positive things you have achieved. As a middle aged woman who has always had an issue with food, I would just like to say when your mind is ready to lose that weight you will do it. You obviously know it needs to be done but it may not be your time yet. Relax, enjoy being a mum and be a role mosdel to your children and eat your breakfasts❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi Abilouise -

Well done for making the changes you have so far. That amount of exercise is tough! I agree with others that it doesn't lose much weight on its own BUT it gives you an incentive to eat well as it gets you in a mindset of thinking about your health. I also agree 2 hr a day is a lot, something higher-intensity but shorter might be better.

On the diet side I found this book incredibly helpful. One of the key points is to think about healthy eating not weight. Sounds obvious but the point is that you can eat healthily TODAY and reap the benefits NOW but weight loss takes a long time - so if you focus on weight loss, it is very easy to get demoralised. Anyway take a look

Gillian Riley book

I also found it useful to go completely cold turkey on the foods I found most addictive. In my case, anything with added sugar (cake, biscuits, chocolate). Gradually I've re-introduced these on occasion but I have to be very vigilant indeed not to over-eat.

I think the best next step would be to gain a better understanding of calories in v calories out. Something like my fitness pal would help with that. You don't need to track your food forever if you find it tedious, just long enough to start understanding the general principles. For example, an apple is around 50 calories, so 2 apples is 100 calories. For me, really going for it on the treadmill or exercise bike, I burn about 100 cals in ten minutes. This is why people say you can't out train a bad diet.

Have to tried a weight loss group OP. I really didn’t think it would be for me, but a friend twisted my arm and I joined Slimming World. It worked for me. I think it was knowing I would be weighed every week, it was the fear of those scales 😆!!

I have managed to keep most of the weight off and feel much healthier for it.

I hope you find something that works for you

Could you eat like the kids for a month? Whatever you make for them, plate yourself the same as them. Same snacks, same times. Tell dp, he can just sort his own takeaways etc.

Get the Blood Sugar Diet book, read it and do it.

Ditch the takeaway OP.

You could easily be eating over 2k calories in one meal if you're eating dominos or chinese etc. And it's all fried or cheesy carbs.

Try eating meat and 3 green veg for dinner for a month and I'd put money on you losing a stone.

OP I really love Slimming World and if you like lots of SW stuff on facebook and follow lots of SW people on Instagram, I can guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised at how great the food is.

I am dreaming of breakfast calzone in the morning after seeing it on Instagram....