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AIBU?

To not buy branded clothes for my children unless it's a birthday or Christmas?

41 replies

thewemb · 15/10/2018 15:57

I have 2 DC one is 13 and one is 10. Apparently I'm really mean and "don't understand" that everyone else has the "in things". Is this true? 13 year old wants a tshirt that is a YouTube's merch which costs £20. The 10 year old wants hype clothes at £20 +. I've said only for birthday. They usually have Tesco or equivalent. I'm not a mean mum am I???

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Thisreallyisafarce · 15/10/2018 16:04

It depends how well off you are. I would spend £20-30 on a nice item for myself, so I am not going to dress my teenager in stuff for a fiver from the supermarket. If you're struggling for money, it's not harsh whatsoever.

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user1471459936 · 15/10/2018 16:04

You're not mean. But, if you can afford it, can they earn the higher value clothes? Pay them to do housework etc? Teach them the value of money.

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thewemb · 15/10/2018 16:06

I'm not struggling for money but I'm not really well off. They grow so quick and I can't imagine them getting much use out of things.

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PandaG · 15/10/2018 16:09

Do your dc get pocket money? If so, you can offer the cost of a cheaper alternative, then they can save the difference between the cheap one and the brand - you are in effect buying the t-shirt they need, whereas they are upgrading to the t-shirt they want.

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stepmummamumma · 15/10/2018 16:10

You can get away with it for your ten year old maybe, but your 13 year old? You only get them clothes from supermarkets? I do think that is mean if you can afford more.

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Thisreallyisafarce · 15/10/2018 16:11

I would mix it up a bit. The basics for home and holidays etc., some nicer things for going out with their mates.

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Houseonahill · 15/10/2018 16:11

When I was that age we had generic clothes and if we wanted anything nicer it was birthday or Christmas.

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MrsStrowman · 15/10/2018 16:13

I think £20 is reasonable, not all the time but for the odd item aside from Xmas and birthday especially for the older boy. If they were asking for £70 Ralph Lauren polos etc definitely not. At 13 he's becoming conscious of fashion etc and won't want to only dress in supermarket items.

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MrsStrowman · 15/10/2018 16:14

Also the ten year old will get the nicer things the 13 year old grows out of

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PandaG · 15/10/2018 16:17

Also, try eBay or local Facebook groups for second-hand clothes, and sell on what they grow out of. My dd is now 16 and would much rather have 2 or 3 second-hand items, branded or not actually, as it is more ethical to recycle stuff! I do buy her new sometimes, but she mostly wears preloved!

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AmIRightOrAMeringue · 15/10/2018 16:20

Maybe you could give them some money to spend in the sales? You can get some great bargains in Januart

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Jeippinghmip · 15/10/2018 16:21

I don’t buy branded clothes, end of.

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bridgetreilly · 15/10/2018 16:23

I think it's perfectly reasonable to say they can have those things as presents if that's what they want, or save up their own money to buy them, but they will not be what you normally get them. Do not,ever, believe the 'everyone else' line. There'll be plenty of other kids who also don't get the expensive stuff all or any of the time.

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Hellohah · 15/10/2018 16:24

I have a DS who is 13 ... I buy t shirts and jogging pants/jeans from Primark. He has branded hoodies and expensive trainers, and really decent coats (he got North Face last time). It's a compromise and it works for us.

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Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 15/10/2018 16:28

At about that age my mum got tired of us constantly asking for expensive stuff, and gave each of us a clothes budget of £200 a year (this is a long time ago). It was a generous budget, but it was astonishing how much more thought we put into each purchase, and whether we really wanted each item.

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hooveringhamabeads · 15/10/2018 16:32

I have a 14 year old and she has quite a unique style...and often the things she wants to wear are very expensive! I don’t buy her everything she wants but I spend more on her clothes than I do my own...she has ASD and really struggles with confidence, so if she feels happy and confident wearing things she really loves then it’s worth it IMO. On the other hand, she does find cheaper things on amazon or eBay that she wants to wear, and she also loves trawling through charity shops so not everything is crazy expensive. I think the key thing is at that age they are developing their style and it’s good to indulge that in whatever way you can afford to. Supermarkets probably don’t cut the mustard style wise at that age.

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CherryPavlova · 15/10/2018 16:36

No you’re not mean at all. Labelled stuff is just a way of increasing consumerism and global companies making huge profits from exploited labour.
We resisted most labels unless it was necessary for some reason (Helly Hanson for sailing, Moon Boots and Canada Goose for Russia/Iceland in winter). Never just because ‘everybody else does’ because that’s not usually true and we didn’t want children who were sheep. I certainly think 10 is far too young for high fashion clothing.

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IncyWincyGrownUp · 15/10/2018 16:42

I buy absolutely nothing branded for my teenager unless it’s boots for school. She can waste her own money, but clothes aren’t something I’m prepared to waste money on.

Same will apply for the boys as they grow.

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toolazytothinkofausername · 15/10/2018 16:43

Can you compromise and buy branded accessories they won't grow out of?

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SpoonBlender · 15/10/2018 17:03

I never buy branded over non for the brand alone, only for actual quality.

For kids stuff that will last six months before they grow out, nope nope nope.

So maybe for a bag, but not clothes.

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Idontbelieveinthemoon · 15/10/2018 17:04

DS1 is 13 so has just reached the point of taking an interest in what he wears.

Both DC are into football/sports so wear a lot of sports clothes; you can pick up fairly decent quality Adidas, Nike and Hype hoodies at low prices if you shop around; la reroute has 40% off frequently so I tend to bulk buy sports stuff from there, and JJB for decent trainers that they like. H&M and Zara Kids are great for things like jeans and basic t-shirts, and always have decent sales too.

I'm of the mindset that they don't have much control over their lives as DC, so choosing their own clothes, and choosing things they love, is a way of giving them choice in who they are and how they look. It doesn't hurt me, plus I stick them on eBay if they're in good nick after they've grown out of them. It doesn't affect us financially and I want them to fit in - I remember as a teen how important it felt needing to fit in. Clothes and shoes were a big part of that for me, if the same is true for the DC then that's ok.

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Ryderryder · 15/10/2018 17:09

I like the idea of them making up the difference from pocket money

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northlaine · 15/10/2018 19:12

Mine get that stuff for BD / Xmas. I once gave them a budget & told them to buy all their winter clothes from it - ie shoes coat and whatever else. In order to teach them that if you want £100 Nike trainers you are not going to get the Adidas T-shirt / branded coat as well. It worked really well in that they went online & shopped around - soon realised compromise is a necessary part of life, and maybe they could make do without all the brands after all.

DS is 14 with huge feet so it's very limited as to what he can get shoe wise - he's also earning money doing jobs and I give pocket money. He now has to use this to pay for 'luxury' items!

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muchalover · 15/10/2018 19:22

If you buy them one t shirt outside of your agreement then you will have to buy them brand name shoes next, brand name jeans and it will never end.

You literally are paying for a name because the clothes are made in the same places. My kids had brand names but only from charity shops. Whilst they hated it at the time later they learned that brand names don't mean anything and if your DC's friends judge them for not having the right brand then they aren't people I would want my children to call friends.

What they do with their own money is their business however.

It's a trap.

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PoptartPoptart · 15/10/2018 19:23

I agree with Thisreallyisafarce.
The majority of clothes I buy DS (13) is supermarket stuff, just for knocking about at home.
He has a few branded bits, Nike trainers, Superdry T-shirt’s & hoodie, etc, for mufti days or when he sees his friends out of school.

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