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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holiday mid GCSE exams.

94 replies

GCSEDoom · 15/10/2018 15:41

The only time we can all get off together is half term in May. Would be going to see/with family.

Literally mid exams.
Would this be a really bad idea?
Child has Sen and is already massively stressed about exams, is looking at scraping C's rather than A star.
Are they likely to be exams across half term?

Would you ?

OP posts:
Reastie · 15/10/2018 16:25

Given your dc gets stressed around exams I’d definitely say not. It’ll be such a stressful time. I work in secondary education and I’m Hmm when parents take their dc on holiday in easter as there is so much going on for them let alone in may half term. They will be stressed and anxious and trying to revise. It won’t be a relaxing holiday.

BarbarianMum · 15/10/2018 16:26

Well if they are only going to "scrape" a C then it's hardly worth them bothering at all. Hmm Do you really believe that? About your own child?

Even if your dc was going to scrape an F they have worked for 2 years for these exams and you should at least respect that by giving them the opportunity to do their best.

BarbarianMum · 15/10/2018 16:27

X post.

pointythings · 15/10/2018 16:29

We did go away for 3 days (the Bank Holiday weekend) when DD1 was in Yr 11. The break did her good and she hit the revision the rest of the week. I will probably do that again with DD2 next year.

A whole week is too much though.

Original poster
GCSEDoom · 15/10/2018 16:31

As I said Barbarian, I would be thrilled in they got a C/4. From where they have come from it would be amazing.

OP posts:
AnotherDayAnotherDollarRight · 15/10/2018 16:35

I would have been less than impressed if my parents had done that to me.

Please don't. Put your dc first for this short period. It's just one half term out of many.

TatterdemalionAspie · 15/10/2018 16:35

Of course not. Fucking hell.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 15/10/2018 16:36

It depends for me.

My daughter is doing her exams this year. Her school expect compliance with all revision sessions provided, so we will probably go away in order to allow her to revise at her own pace and in her own way instead of being forced to attend sessions that will just fuck her up.

Would I go on a full-on holiday? No. We’ll be going somewhere local and most of the luggage will be food and books.

Yogagirl123 · 15/10/2018 16:44

If I felt my child needed I break I would take a holiday. No reason why some revision can’t be done while your away.

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig · 15/10/2018 16:51

My son is ASD and gets really anxious and stressed. I'd take him away to give him an alternative focus, he wouldn't revise anyway.

QueSera · 15/10/2018 16:55

Terrible idea!! Look after your DC!!!

beachygirl · 15/10/2018 16:55

As an ex-teacher, I was always sad to come across the parents of SEN children who thought their children should not expected to put in the hours of work that the rest of class does or have the same expectations made of them. Then there were the other parents who realised that their children would need to put in more effort, not less, to reach their potential, whatever that may be. It is likely they will have revision sessions scheduled that are planned specifically to support SEN and/or 4 and below students. I would say encourage her to study but put plenty of treats and relaxation in between.

Original poster
GCSEDoom · 15/10/2018 16:55

Whirly I extremely doubt mine will revise either. We have tried everything before to encourage and help them but without full and constant direction it's impossible :(

OP posts:
Ryderryder · 15/10/2018 16:58

I did it between cse and O levels. Worst holiday ever. I think my mum regretted going it.

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig · 15/10/2018 16:59

GCSE you have to do what you think is right for your child. I know that for mine taking him away from the situation would be the best thing to do.
It's all very well people berating you but they don't know your child, you do. Mine is intelligent but extremely demand avoidant so expecting him to revise is just never going to happen and no amount of teachers telling me my patenting is skewed is going to make the slightest bit of difference...

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 15/10/2018 17:00

Wow. Why would you want to cut into your child's revision time?

daffodillament · 15/10/2018 17:09

Where are you staying ? If its low key with family and he has a revision timetable in place I don't see why you can't go. Obv his revision and forthcoming exams are the priorities but downtime and relaxation for him are important too.

goldentrianglex · 15/10/2018 17:10

Sorry you're getting a hard time for asking the question op. Surely that just shows you care , anyway as others have said it's not ideal but you do know your family best. If it's visiting your mum then maybe that is a calm stable place to revise. Otherwise that summer holiday is really long for year 11's it would be great if she could visit your mum then to fill some of July?

HiHoToffee · 15/10/2018 17:12

Before my DS sat his GCSE's, I would have said that a few days away should be ok. But now I will suggest it is a really bad idea.

It is a very stressful time, do not underestimate the pressure they are under.

Original poster
GCSEDoom · 15/10/2018 17:14

@beachygirl
I've already said we aren't going. It was an idea thrown at me which caught me off guard and I wanted advice but in regards to your post you haven't a clue how much I've fought to get help and support for the last ten years while the education system has let them done continually.
How many hours I've worked one on one with my child every damn day when they were coming home from school saying they were stupid, after their already very long school days because school don't have the resources or staff to meet their own expectations of support ( they have 100% attendance at school btw) how many resources I've bought etc to help them despite being low income, facilitating tutoring and support sessions etc which of course is my job but saying I'm putting less effort in and basically not expecting them to reach their potential is very very unfair.
My child has significant needs and difficulties with understanding language. We will hopefully get a C in two subjects if we are very very lucky.
Mocks where with masses and masses of support from the school (thankfully the current one they joined in year 8 is actually supportive ) and me and tutoring mostly level 1a, 2 level 2s and 1 level 3.

So don't tell me I've not put effort in or given them any expectations of achieving their best.

OP posts:
TatterdemalionAspie · 15/10/2018 17:17

My son is [sic] ASD and gets really anxious and stressed. I'd take him away to give him an alternative focus, he wouldn't revise anyway.

Many kids with ASD (including mine) would find going away very stressful in itself - the change in place, disruption of routines, not knowing what to expect... there's a multitude of reasons why holidays are extra stressful for those on the autistic spectrum.

TeenTimesTwo · 15/10/2018 17:22

cancel the cheque.

daffodillament · 15/10/2018 18:18

Can't believe the amount of aggression on here. Ok, It's not ideal going away before exams but ffs get some perspective ! Op only asked the question. I still think that with a revision timetable throughout the week this family can still enjoy their holiday. It actually might be a distraction from the stress for her son. With careful planning the family can achieve both. Just because he's not in his own house revising doesn't mean he's set up to fail.

Ta1kinpeace · 15/10/2018 18:23

I Went on holiday in each of the GCSE / A Level years
at Easter and May Half Term
Both my kids are now happily ensconced at their Universities

SO many sweeping generalisations and negative vibes on this thread

Kids need a break, even in the weeks before exams

daffodillament · 15/10/2018 18:26

Totally agree Ta1kinpeace !