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AIBU?

Refusing gift

7 replies

Mouse007 · 15/10/2018 13:12

A close relative has bought me gold jewellery while on holiday, and wants to meet up to give it to me. I have told them many times that I have enough and don't want them to buy me any gold, and that in fact I don't really like wearing jewellery, but they tell me that I need to have it. I feel like I should feel grateful especially as they have money problems, but I don't, because there will now be an expectation that I wear it. AIBU to tell them I don't want it?

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AuntBeastie · 15/10/2018 13:14

Nice problem to have!

If they are really insistent could you accept graciously and wear it now and then if you know you’ll be seeing them?

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BarbaraofSevillle · 15/10/2018 13:31

I disagree about it being a nice problem to have. I don't wear jewellery and certainly not gold, so being expected to wear it would be a pain.

I'd also be suspicious about their motives. Why is someone with money problems forcing expensive gifts on the OP? What do they want in return? Or is there some sort of money laundering going on?

Importing jewellery (easily concealed and transported without suspicion) and then asking the OP to look after it for them? Very odd.

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KC225 · 15/10/2018 13:37

Is this a cultural thing?

My friend has a huge stash of gold jewellery given to her by family members when she got married. If I'm with her and those cheesy turn your gold into cash ads come on - I give her a nudge. In fact if they come on she now holds her up and says 'DON'T' and her DH and I start laughing.

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RangeRider · 15/10/2018 13:39

Accept it, sell it Grin
But seriously, I'd be wondering why they were buying expensive presents when they can't really afford them.

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Mouse007 · 15/10/2018 13:40

Definitely no money laundering, they honestly believe it's for my own good and that wearing gold is the "done thing" (should have added that we are South East Asian although I was born and brought up in Europe). I don't really want to wear something I'm not comfortable with.

I guess part of the reason I feel frustrated is because whenever they see me without gold, they tell me i don't look nice and make a big deal about what I should be wearing. If I wear it, I feel like I am confirming their opinion that I should be wearing jewellery and that I like it, which might invite more gifts.

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AuntBeastie · 15/10/2018 13:43

Only on MN would a relative giving a gift of gold jewellery be viewed with suspicion as a possible money laundering enterprise 😂

Importing jewellery (easily concealed and transported without suspicion) and then asking the OP to look after it for them? Very odd.

You don’t need to conceal jewellery you purchase abroad (if indeed it was abroad - we don’t know) because it isn’t illegal to buy gold jewellery while on holiday.

And OP isn’t being asked to ‘look after’ it. It’s a gift. How would that possibly assist OP’s relative in money laundering?

Do you even know what money laundering is...?

Sometimes this site is gloriously nutso. Can’t wait for the earnest explanation of just how OP’s relative must be a criminal mastermind because they had the audacity to purchase a gift.

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BarbaraofSevillle · 15/10/2018 13:49

Oh, the 'you don't have this thing I think you should have so I must buy it for you' thing.

Older relatives in our family take our lack of household nick nacks etc as an invitation to gift them to us at any given opportunity. But the reason we have no ornaments, picture frames, cushions, candles etc is because we don't like them and don't want them.

I don't know the answer and it's hard fighting against practices that are culturally ingrained. Such a shame that people who can't afford it feel they have to buy the gold for you.

Could you say that you don't feel comfortable keeping it at home due to the risk of burglary? Where I live, families of South East Asian origin have been the target of gangs of burglars because it is known that they often have lots of gold in the house Sad.

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