This is my first ever post (though I’ve stalked AIBU for a while now) but finally cracked as I need a rant and some advice. I’ll try my best not to drip feed so this might be a long CF ride...
I know it might be a bit early for some to discuss Christmas and start planning presents but my partner and I have recently become parents for the first time this past September so we’re wanting to get ahead of things. All fine and good.
Then on Friday things took a turn for the CF. MIL and SIL decided they wouldn’t buy DD a present postbirth and instead opted to buy me an experience, something lovely where I could be pampered (at their instance that I needed it). All fine and good as I wasn’t expecting anything postbirth for either DD or myself. It wasn’t until we arrived at the place that I realised all was not well, it was one of those photo shoot deals where they throw in hair and makeup and you’re expected to spend X after the fact. Not great when you’re on maternity leave and DP’s last wage was rinsed by paternity leave...MIL then insisted that we go ahead and have our family photos taken and she would spend £150 on whatever we wanted. Once we were at the viewing stage MIL dropped the bombshell that the £150 was the sum of our family Christmas money meaning we wouldn’t be receiving anything this year. She had paid a £10 deposit for the voucher and that was my treat, the photos we hadn’t really wanted were for Christmas...and we’d have to pay the other £100 to comply with the terms of the deal.
I could move past that if it wasn’t for the fact that this would be the 2nd Christmas in a row where we would go without Christmas presents from MIL as the previous year she had insisted she would use the money to buy trips for a family holiday which DP and I had to drop out of last minute due to pregnancy complications. She hasn’t mentioned the money since.
SIL is a similar type of CF, though she and her DH work full time with no children she constantly contacts my DP to ‘lend’ her money as she’s over spent (on holidays and her 3rd new car in 2 years) which is causing tension between herself and DP...spurred on by the fact last Christmas we, like civilised adults, decided on a £70 limit for presents which we promptly bought SIL and BIL a fancy coffee maker she’d asked for. She in return sent us something which never arrived and had no tracking information and, quite honestly, didn’t exist.
So here is my predicament: AIBU to just stop buying for them? DP’s dad is lovely and would still buy his whiskey as normal but the rest of them would get a lovely Christmas card and sweet FA.
(I am expecting to get flamed for being petty and juvenile about presents and money but in all honesty this is just the cherry on a shit sundae with DP’s family)