SH

[Sundayblues13]

Posting for traffic .
I try so hard to be a good mum to my darling children , but now and again resort to my old demon of SH I'd never want my kids to realise I do this and do it places that can't be seen .
My older children have seen old scars in summer time etc and asked what that is ? What do I say ? I don't want to be defined by my past but also don't want to BS them x

Do you still do it?

I have one or two old scars that I guess I'll have to explain one day. Ideally I'd like to wait till DC are 13+ before going into any detail.

Yeah I do , but bit in visible places only in times of complete stress I'm on the waiting list for counselling . I'm like you I'd rather have a frank discussion- but when they are old enough x

It's just a discussion I'd rather not have x

How are you know paie

If it's not obvious that it's intentional- e.g. one or two marks instead of a bunch together I think it should be fairly easy to tell a little white lie about how it happened until they're old enough for That conversation.

I'm much better now than I have been, but do still lapse more than I'd like. I feel guilty having to hide when it does happen.

When I eventually do have the conversation I want to be as Frank and honest as possible. My parents found out when I was a young teen and flipped out, they were really angry and just told me not to be stupid and do it again.
Obviously that didn't work. I'd like to let my DC know that I was hurting and didn't know how to express that pain, so caused myself pain to try to do so. But that there are better ways of handling things, and I can help them with me by their side or help them to help themselves more independently.

I don't think your children need to know at all. I can't see any benefit to them knowing how you got the scars. I think you should lie about how you got them, as knowing the truth would just upset and confuse them.

I wouldn't bring it up. But if they turn around one day as young adults or late teens and ask it would be obvious that I was lying.

@stormwhale I think that's a terrible idea. By all means, if the kids are a bit young then waiting til they are older is fine but a lot of people struggling with MH issues and SH feel very alone. Knowing that someone else has gone/is going through it can be a massive help to getting better.

OP good to hear you are on a waiting list but do you have any coping techniques in the mean time? My friend who used to frequently SH found that those adult colouring books done when she was mildly anxious helped her to focus enough to stop it progressing to a full anxiety attack and SH. Hope you get seen soon.