My now ex-husband was abusive to me for years. He was clever not to show the outside world what he was really like. When I left him he told everyone I had cheated and because no one believed that he could do such a thing as abuse me, they believed him. He was abusive to the children, who remember things very vaguely. On the day I finally left him he took a knife to himself saying him would tell everyone it was my fault. The kids were upstairs at the time and I begged him not to let the children see. He said if they saw then he would tell them it was my fault. We lived together a year after we split up because he refused to move out. Separate bedrooms. But he would always try forcing himself on me, saying he is still married to me. I told my parents who didn't believe me and we stoped speaking. I was on my own. Eventually it all came to an explosive head and the police removed him from the house.
The kids wanted to continue seeing him, so he saw them every weekend. Until the children came home complaining about what he was saying about me and they hated the sleeping arrangements. So I asked him to change and stop for the children's sake. He refused saying he won't be dictated to by me. The children refused to see him, so he took me to court. He told me he now wanted to see the kids every other weekend. He told the kids I was lying and he wants to see them every weekend. Even though I have the court papers to say I'm telling the truth. Cafcass got involved. I told them about the abuse. They called him a narrsasist and said he doesn't care about the kids and that it's all to do with getting back at me. Anyway cafcass even though kids said they are scared of him, didn't put any of the abuse or write that kids are scared of him I the report. He was awarded every other weekend in court. But my eldest refused to see him and so the court granted that my eldest doesn't have to. My problem is now my daughter is displaying violent behaviour towards me. I have contacted the school who offered her counselling, but she refused so teachers said she can't be forced. As a punishment I took her mobile off her, but of course she didn't like this so she ran off to her dad's. He didn't tell me she was there. I had to ask him and he got back to me after a few hours. I said it was a breach of contact order and I was coming to get her. Upon my arrival his parents were there. They hurreld verbal abuse at me. My only guess is my ex has been lying about me to them. My ex was smiling the whole time and hugging my daughter. I explained why she was there and the parents and ex didn't agree with me banning her from her mobile. I am pregnant and she was punching me in the stomach and as a punishment I banned her from her mobile and I'm the disgraceful one?
To cut a long story short. Ex has told my daughter that she doesn't need to see a doctor or councillor, so she is refusing. I can't physically force her to and every time she comes back from his house she is worse. He is so charming with her that she doesn't see what he is doing and he has turned her brain and she has now blocked out the abuse she suffered from him years ago, saying she doesn't remember.
I don't know what to do. I am sacred for my younger children and my unborn child. I shouldn't be scared of my own 13 year old daughter. But she is behaving exactly like my ex was and now I feel I'm right back there again. Back in the abuse that I suffered years ago.
Any advice what's so ever I'd be grateful of.