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To just want 5 minutes!?

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LegalEagle99 · 14/10/2018 09:23

We will call them Mildred (10, almost 11) Francis (6) and Doris (just turned 5).

From 5.45am onwards:

Mildred: Muuuum, where's your yoga mat, I need to practice.... Muuuummmm, I can't find it!
Muuuuuuuummmmmmm.....oh I found it.

6am: Francis: Muuummmyyyyy, Mildred won't share the yoga mat with me....

Doris: Muuuummmmyyyy, Francis said I can't play on your yoghurt mat naked, she's being meeeeean!

Me: All of you, work it out or NO ONE is using the mat and shut the lounge door!!!!

It's still dark outside at this point!!

6.45am Francis: Muuummmyyyy, I need cereal boxes to make a model of Buckingham has to be in tomorrow!!!
Me: (In my head, WHAT THE FUCK!??) Out loud: Ok, we'll sort it out.
Francis: Now in my room emptying cornflakes into a big bowl on my bed!!!!! Aaaarrrggghhhhhh!!

7.15am: Just drifting off and all of a sudden Doris creeps into my room, I think she's just going to get into my bed for some cuddles right? Wrong!!!! She snuggles right into me and BURPS
in my ear telling me it's a gift from her to me for my birthday a few weeks ago.

7.30am: Mildred comes flying into my bedroom to tell me how her sisters are, quote: 'the most horrific little cretins that would not have lasted in the Victorian times and they simply do not understand my need for personal space OR the concept of autonomy!!!!'
By this point I am wide awake, I tell Mildred to stop reading my Law books and so the day begins.

Up to this point, we have done a huge amount of aqua beads, Doris is driving everyone crazy with the ear burping, Francis is insisting on 'helping' me with EVERYTHING to the point where I'm stepping in the shower and she tells me she loves my 'jiggly butt' while actually jiggling it, it's not that jiggly! And Mildred has gone from Autonomy to asking me what will happen with Brexit and how will the economy be affected along with her beautiful little Polish friend and will she be deported and if she is then I must fight for her human rights under the relevant Article!!!

I am going to sit in the car, put on my heated seats and sleep!!!!!
Just give me 5 minutes people!!!!

5 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!

I feel better for getting it out. 😂

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