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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be miffed at DP and his mate?

34 replies

Hidinginthebath · 13/10/2018 19:18

I went to drop my 2 DC's at their dads at 5pm. It's about 15 miles away from where I'm temporarily living with DP. Discussed getting steak and wine for dinner with DP. Whilst I was out I got a text from my old school friend who I haven't seen for ages asking if I would like to meet him in our home town for a quick drink (the place 15 miles away). I declined because I'd arranged to have dinner with DP (even though I'd love to have gone because I'm missing everyone from my local pub!) and we don't get to spend much time alone as one dc is sleeping in our room at the moment.

Got home with the steak and wine and DP's friend is here and looks set in for the night Hmm he's a conspiracy theorist who frankly bores me to death and they were playing Fifa on the PS. I'm in the bath feeling quite pissed off.

I text DP (from the bath) saying 'wish you'd let me know as X asked me to meet him but I said no because I thought we had plans?' He's ignored me. Which he will because he will want his friend to stay.

AIBU for being miffed? I feel like he hasn't extended the same courtesy that I gave him. Not to let down on our plans (and I bought the steak and wine which I was too skint for really, which will probably be left now).

OP posts:
Original poster
Hidinginthebath · 13/10/2018 19:19

(BTW they are both in their 40's and DP's friend has 3 DC's himself, in my post we all sound young!)

OP posts:
lexi727 · 13/10/2018 19:20

YANBU. I would be VERY pissed off! Stomp around a bit and do very dramatic huffs. That's what i always do.

Userplusnumbers · 13/10/2018 19:21

Well did you have a discussion about it? As in "X has text me for a drink, but I said no because it would be nice to stay in the two of us"

Because it's all well and good extending 'courtesies', but people aren't mind readers.

Original poster
Hidinginthebath · 13/10/2018 19:23

user I text him. As in my OP. And we discussed dinner plans. No mind reading needed? I didn't want to discuss it in frommof his mate because I'm not a twat.

OP posts:
Faithless12 · 13/10/2018 19:23

Text friend and go out.

Faithless12 · 13/10/2018 19:24

Also yanbu but why not go out and enjoy yourself.

Weezol · 13/10/2018 19:24

You can be miffed with your DP, rightly. I'd leave the friend out of it - DP made plans with you and it's him that has spoiled them by asking his mate over.

I'd put one steak in the freezer, cook the other for yourself and retire to bed with the bottle of wine and a good book/film/mumsnet binge.

Original poster
Hidinginthebath · 13/10/2018 19:24

Faithless I was thinking of doing just that.

OP posts:
Yonijust · 13/10/2018 19:24

Go out & stay at friends Wine

Original poster
Hidinginthebath · 13/10/2018 19:25

Okay friends texted. I'm off out. Staying at my mums. Bye steak! (Might have a wine before I go).

OP posts:
adaline · 13/10/2018 19:25

Just go out and leave them to it. Stay overnight if possible and let him stew.

AtrociousCircumstance · 13/10/2018 19:26

Take steak etc with you to friends.

Aprilislonggone · 13/10/2018 19:27

Def go out and don't hurry back.
Or offer to cook at friend's and take the steaks with you!!

GunpowderGelatine · 13/10/2018 19:27

YANBU this would annoy me greatly. I think you should go and 'accidentally' unplug the PlayStation. Or shout down the stairs "DP, have you asked Friend about our swinging idea yet? Because I'm all ready and trussed up up here". That'll learn him Wink

Mrskeats · 13/10/2018 19:27

Go out and meet your friend.
Couldn’t be doing with a man in his forties playing fifa with his mate. They sound about 13.
And it’s v rude not to let you know his friend was coming.

cardibach · 13/10/2018 19:27

Have the team tomorrow? YANBU to be pissed off, but YWBU to waste steak!

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/10/2018 19:28

You're both as bad as each other. If you really wanted to meet your friend, you could have called your dp and said you'd be a little later back as friend X had asked to meet for a catch up.

Your dp could have called to let you know friend Y had called in so plans for a quiet night together had changed.

I know how hard it is to have couples time when you've got children around, but if a friend either dh or I hadn't seen in a while contacted us to ask us out, I know neither of us would mind a drink or two before returning home to continue our evening plans of couples time. But we would ask.

If you can't communicate in a relationship then there really are problems as you'll both end up annoyed and festering over simple matters.

Daisymay2 · 13/10/2018 19:31

Either take the stak and wine with you, or freeze the steak, Otherwise DP and friend will eat it!!!!

Original poster
Hidinginthebath · 13/10/2018 19:33

mini you are right, we don't communicate well.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 13/10/2018 19:39

I would take the steaks with you!

DoJo · 13/10/2018 19:41

Well did you have a discussion about it?

Discussed getting steak and wine for dinner with DP.

minisoksmakehardwork · 13/10/2018 19:42

Oh @Hidinginthebath, I am sorry.

Did you not let dp know about your invite before you returned home because you thought he'd say no, or because you thought he'd be fine with it and you wanted the couple time more?

Dollymixture22 · 13/10/2018 19:44

It’s still early. Go out. And tomorrow talk to this grown man about communication and honouring commitments.

BumDisease · 13/10/2018 19:51

"Go out and meet your friend.
Couldn’t be doing with a man in his forties playing fifa with his mate. They sound about 13.
And it’s v rude not to let you know his friend was coming."

Yes because it's the FIFA that's the problem. Ffs.

ellaowenmummy · 13/10/2018 19:55

I'd agree with you but you are living in his house as a guest so tricky one really