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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to unsubscribe from my Vicars emails

28 replies

TheCherries · 13/10/2018 18:52

Bit awkward, really want to but feel it would be the biggest etiquette failure to do so. We all bumble along very nicely in our community, everyone knows everyone else and everything everyone gets up to.

The vicar however is a bit of a dick and he has really ruined our church since he has arrived.

From the christening of our second child, telling all my relatives off that he hadn’t seen them in church before (they lived 1-4 HRs drive away) and did they know there is such a thing as a collection tin and what they are to do about it on their departure from the service.

To the nativity service, informing us that turning up with children dressed up in nativity clothes was not the done thing.

Well now he is a father himself and he is now massively embracing children and after years of insulting us parents I just cannot face going back to the church, we go for high days and holidays to a neighbouring one. He now wants us to get involved. Keeps sending email after email inviting us to kiddy friendly events for us to join in on. Reminding us of our sins of not being involved.

Other friends still frequent his church so I know word will get through to them if I ask him to stop keep sending the emails. So feeling a bit awkward about sending him an ‘unsubscribe’ request (which incidentally there is not a link for) so will be an email specifically.

Equally though I am fed up keep receiving his emails reminding me of my Christian duty.

Any suggestions on the best way to tackle it?

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 13/10/2018 18:54

Do it and sod him?

Or send to spam for the diplomatic route.

MrTrebus · 13/10/2018 18:54

I would just mark it as spam so they go straight to your junk folder then ignore

cardibach · 13/10/2018 18:55

Delete without reading?

60sname · 13/10/2018 18:55

Well the obvious answer if you don't want him to know would be to just block his emails. But it rather sounds like you do (understandably in my view).

Lostnafraid · 13/10/2018 18:55

Just tell him to fuck off. He’s a wanker, vicar or not.

MyArris · 13/10/2018 18:56

Hen sounds thoroughly unpleasant so I’d have no problem with sending him and unsubscribe email and not explain why unless he asks.

60sname · 13/10/2018 18:57

@Lostnafraid what, literally?

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 13/10/2018 18:57

I’d send them into spam.

waxy1 · 13/10/2018 18:58

Go to another church.

BetsyBigNose · 13/10/2018 18:58

I would reply to his email saying something along the lines of "We have chosen to attend St Other's Church instead of yours as we found them more suited to our preferred style of worship, and our children were made to feel welcome there, which we did not feel was the case at your Church."

MrsBartlettforthewin · 13/10/2018 19:00

Polite email him explaining why you no longer want his emails and if he gets arsey does the church have a leadership team ( ours has deacons as well as the minister so if we have issues with him we ca. Raise with them not that as we have had to)

ImperfectTents · 13/10/2018 19:00

Report him for not being GPR compliant

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 13/10/2018 19:00

I thought there was a way of people knowing if you've marked their emails as spam, or is that just businesses? I think there might be a way of channeling emails from a certain address into a particular folder, which you need then never read, if you don't want him to know about it.

PawneeParksDept · 13/10/2018 19:03

He's clearly enough of a dick for you to feel forced to move parishes, don't contact him, you can literally Block Sender

jollyjester · 13/10/2018 19:03

Oh do the GDPR one!

Making sure our church was GDPR compliant was such a pain but the higher ups were very concerned about it being correct

DanglyBangly · 13/10/2018 19:08

Filter them into a separate folder and just empty it every so often without reading

Cobrider · 13/10/2018 19:10

Give him some feedback. As long as it’s done politely it would probably be beneficial to him.

AwaAnBileYeHeid · 13/10/2018 19:14

I agree, he needs feedback. I would be tempted to send BetsyBigNose's suggestion of "We have chosen to attend St Other's Church instead of yours as we found them more suited to our preferred style of worship, and our children were made to feel welcome there, which we did not feel was the case at your Church."

He needs to know that his rudeness has put people in his congregation off attending services there.

And he's a dick.

SandAndSea · 13/10/2018 19:15

Maybe unsubscribe with a note that you are trying to cut down on all your emails?

supersop60 · 13/10/2018 19:17

Some Vicars can be dicks. You don't owe him an explanation. Unsubscribe or mark as spam. Enjoy your new Church.

Tinkobell · 13/10/2018 19:21

I would email him and say thank you for his kind thoughts and requests, but you are now 100% time committed to another church. Please could he therefore unsubscribe you for the time being. Thank you very much and all the best.....

Madhairday · 13/10/2018 19:22

telling all my relatives off that he hadn’t seen them in church before (they lived 1-4 HRs drive away) and did they know there is such a thing as a collection tin and what they are to do about it on their departure from the service.

Yeah. Unsubscribe.

nAVALT... I'm married to a very nice one. Who never mentions the collection tin. And is very welcoming and friendly.

Gdpr a good idea! We spent some time getting our church compliant. He should've emailed you to check and opt you in...

But Yanbu.

eddielizzard · 13/10/2018 19:26

YANBU. He sounds an absolute hypocrite.

MMKMN · 13/10/2018 19:36

GDPR his ass!

Rainbunny · 13/10/2018 19:37

I am a bit confused though OP, I understand you wanting to stop receiving his unpleasant emails but does your family still attend his church services? I think I'd also be looking for a different congregation to join.

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