Hate being made to feel guilty for my disabilities

10 replies

Blackberry10 · 13/10/2018 18:15

To not be sure I be can cope with being made to feel like this
Have epilepsy and have seizures and also have fibromyagia. Manage to work three hours week days. DH only works 4 hours a day at the moment as he has made a career move which makes things hard at the moment but will pay off in the future. We are surviving off savings at the moment which is ok we made this decision together.
Today I had three bad seizures at about half 1 and have been in bed since. DH has been with our DS who is 6. Have not planned to go anywhere due to the weather.

I have come down to have him ignoring me, he is making DS tea crashing round the kitchen and is pissed off with me and is glaring at me. When I ask if everything is ok I get told ‘FINE”
Usually he is great but these times he is not he makes me feel like total shit. I told him to wake me after a few hours but he didn’t as is now acting the matyr. Basically he wanted to spend all afternoon sat watching sport (well basically he has as he has given DS the I pad)

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 13/10/2018 18:25

Go back to bed and leave him to it, poor baby. He's playing the martyr. He's lucky it's not him who has to live like this.

lexi727 · 13/10/2018 18:33

Go back upstairs and leave him to it. He's being childish. You need to rest and he's your husband - in sickness and in health!

Original poster

Blackberry10 · 13/10/2018 18:34

Just feel like pure shit. It’s not often he makes me feel like this but it totally erases all the times he was nice. Seems to be when he has to look after DS. He will go on that he misses the times we could spend together as a family but it’s not really that.

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Original poster

Blackberry10 · 13/10/2018 18:36

I have been bad over the last two weeks with seizures. DH has done a lot of dropping at breakfast club but since the school is 2 minutes away and he work is a further 10 minutes away and he finishes at 2 I don’t think he has been over stretched. He has been getting up prob half an hour earlier then he would normally some days (as we usually take it in turns).

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Original poster

Blackberry10 · 13/10/2018 18:37

Also I offered him a lie in this morning but he got up after half an hour saying he did not want it.

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Mrsbclinton · 13/10/2018 18:42

This isnt fair on you at all, you have no control over this. The added stress of him acting this way cant be helping your condition.

No point talking to him while he is in a mood but when he comes out of it I would have a talk to him about it.

florenceheadache · 13/10/2018 18:46

are you under the care of specialists. you should discuss your meds and surgical options.

FuzzyShadowChatter · 13/10/2018 19:41

YANBU at all. Having that on top of everything else you're going through sounds very draining.

Depending on my mood, I'd probably either as the others said just turn around and go back upstairs probably with DS for a bit as neither of you deserve to be around that tantrum or ask if something bad happened in his sport of choice because if everything is 'FINE' then he has quite a lot of misdirected anger to explain.

Thinkingofausername1 · 13/10/2018 20:02

Big hugs. I have ongoing illness too and have spent the last two weeks sleeping when I'm back from doing whatever I need to do. You can't help being ill. It's not your fault. I would just go back to bed, you need to look after yourself first.

ProfessorMoody · 13/10/2018 20:12

He sounds awful. I have fibro and other conditions and I've been in bed for a week. DH does everything and never moans - he knows I feel guilty as it is and would never make me feel worse.

Plus, it's his child too. Why shouldn't he have to care for him?

Flip