DH doesn't want DS doing ballet, unless he asks to.

[Ashrev]

Hi,

Want to know who is wrong here. We have an older DD who does ballet (amongst other things) and I just assumed it would be good to start on the same activities we started DD with. DD started when she was 18 months, it was parent/baby. DS has hit 18 months, loves all the little dancy things they do in the class at home, so think it will be good for him.

Apparently DH says no. He has no problem with him doing ballet if he asks us but not to put him in it to start with

Who is unreasonable!?

'He also does baby phonics, art class, tots music, diddikicks and playgroup. and ballet.'

If this is for real what the fuck is 'diddikicks'

My youngest does a lot of what my eldest did. Partly because (at that age) I chose activities I'll enjoy taking them to and sorry because they've been exposed to it taking their elder sibling.

Nothing wrong with baby ballet for boys!!

*partly, not sorry

I think all parents of an 18 mo old are helicopter parents speakout. Do you think the OP should be sending him out to play jn the street?
It does seem a very intense schedule on the face of it though.

^^ nothing wrong with ballet in general for boys.

@Gildashairflick, thank you. I had forgotten how that scene gets me. Sitting here with tears running down my cheeks.

Boys in ballet is a good thing. I can’t see why anyone would think otherwise.

Over invested in what? My son?

It's things to do, I'm a sahm, my DH is out of the house 8am till 10pm weekdays, and then works nights on the weekends. If I didn't go to activities I'd never speak to another adult from one day to the next. It's as much to save my sanity as it is for him.

Diddikicks is baby football.

It does seem a very intense schedule on the face of it though.

It's a maximum of 35-45 minutes a day. I'm hardly hot housing him He doesn't go to nursery, I feel bad about that, so I take him to things.

@OnceUponATimeInAmerica you are welcome. It gets me every time too. It's my favourite film ever. I was brought up in almost the same area (some of it was filmed in my home town) and I was the same age at the time of the strike and everything is so similar to how I recall things. I can't imagine a boy I grew up with being emotionally resilient enough to go into ballet. I'm off to search for it on Netflix now and watch again. Fuck strictly haha!

It’s basically a movement class at that age so your DH is being a bit silly about stereotypes etc. My 2 year old is doing ballet at the moment and she’s quite frankly shite at it. There are however lots of other 2 year olds that seem to follow instructions beautifully and are quite happy doing knee bends etc with the teacher. Mine just runs around and tries to climb the walls (literally).

I think " diddikicks" is football for toddlers, in the same way that "baby ballet" is ballet (ie not at all).

Also giggling at the idea of being a helicopter parent to a toddler being a bad thing He's nearly two, if I didn't keep an eye on him it'd be carnage.

Do you mean pushy parent rather than helicopter? No, I wouldn't say so, if he didn't enjoy an activity I wouldn't take him. I'm not particularly competitive and i dont expect him to be either (especially not at less than two years old!) he'll let me know if he does/doesn't want to do something as he gets older and I'll be led by that.

Oh god this sort attitude winds me up sand much! DH was the same until he actually went to the ballet one Christmas with me and saw for himself what incredible athletes they all are. Show him a pic of Carlos Acosta!

I took DD to lots of classes at 18m, some we carried on with and some we didn't depending on how much she enjoyed them. This included football and, yes, baby ballet (and as a PP said, it's really not that intense). I'll be taking my son to the same classes. Not to pander or subvert a stereotype, but to give him a chance to try out different things.

My 9 year old son has been doing ballet since he was 7, after asking me since he was six as he decided after watching some musical theatre that he wanted to be a performer when he grew up. He is in all other ways a very ‘typical’ boy; loves zombies and minecraft etc. He absolutely loves ballet and after the first two weeks took up tap, jazz, modern, freestyle, acro, musical theatre, contemporary, etc etc and now dances at classes six days a week. His 2 year old brother started when he was 18 months as he loved copying him at home. I always find it funny that it seems to be fine for little girls to be enrolled into dance from a very young age just because it’s the done thing for girls, but when young boys are enrolled it’s always ‘why isn’t he allowed to choose for himself?’ 🙄 Dance is fantastic excersise and teaches lots of life skills. So yes, let him dance! And yes, boys do wear leotards....and why shouldn’t they?

I have no issue with the gender element and admit to knowing nothing about ballet, but doesn't it cause problems with their feet eventually? And aren't eating disorders common in people who do ballet? Personally, I wouldn't want my sons or daughters to do it, but that's just me.

If your DH has no issue with baby classes then he is being a sexist arse about this.

How embarrassing that in 2018 some people are still stupidly sexist about boys doing ballet.

Who do they think the girls are doing to dance with in the romantic dances ?

Men from more enlightened countries?

Boys at our school wear white tops and black leggings.

I fancy a career change: I'm going to find an activity and stick baby in front of it and charge parents a fuck tonne of money for doing it. Seems a licence to print money:

I was thinking of Baby quantity surveying for my new venture.

Well as part owner of a dance school, your husband is being ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than say, a lot of fathers we come across who don't even want their sons to wear a white t-shirt tucked into shorts.
We don't teach baby ballet until their 2, but have been known to take them at 20 months.

Some people only know their own children, not all children have a problem concentrating for 30 mins a good teacher can commandeer a class effectively.

As for only waiting for a child to indicate dancing? piffle. Why not enrol in any and everything.

Also the joy of being the older child is that you try everything first. The misery of being a subsequent child is you need to fit in with established patterns. That's life.

Actually, your DH may have a point if he's coming at this from the angle of your DS choosing to do ballet for himself rather than not wanting his son to do ballet, if that makes sense.

An 18 month old child will not be doing ballet and paying for ballet lesson for a child of this age is pointless. Any dancing activity will do. When he's old enough to start doing actual ballet lessons he'll be old enough to tell you if he wants to do ballet.

Personally, I never sent any of my DCs, girl or boy to ballet. None of them showed any particular leaning towards dancing and when they were small there were plenty of other activities they were doing that covered all sort of movement to music.

OP says DS likes all the dancy things at home. Sounds like he might enjoy the "ballet" class. I'd take him along and see how he goes. Husband is a Muppet. And for the record I never did ballet and hated the idea of it. But if a kid shows any interest in physical exercise you should jump on the opportunity.

Don't most children like to 'dance', doesn't mean they all potential Darcey Bussells.

Small children don't need to do ballet they just need movement to music. If someone told me their 18 month old child was doing 'ballet' I'd think they were a bit of a muppet tbh.