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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 3.30pm is too late for a child to have lunch

44 replies

NeeChee · 13/10/2018 14:44

I will be picking up DSC10 soon, he has sports on a Saturday morning and we pick him up afterwards. He always comes straight from sports practice, and every week his mum has not given him any lunch.
The poor kid is hungry, and it also messes up our family mealtimes as eating lunch at 4pm means he is not hungry at tea-time. Often me and DP have already eaten at normal lunchtime (12-1pm)
Part of me does wonder if its a ploy on his behalf, telling mum he isn't hungry so we will give him fast food, as we feel like we have to feed him immediately.
Surely though it would make sense to take him somewhere for lunch or pack sandwiches or snacks for afterwards before meeting us?

OP posts:

theworldistoosmall · 13/10/2018 15:12

So if he has sports on a Saturday morning, and you are just picking him up now, that means he is there during lunchtime. It's possible you know that he does have a snack during that time but understandably doesn't want a proper lunch. He doesn't need to be taken for fast food, and I am surprised that his dad hasn't though oh yeah, let's just take him a sandwich and a drink. And if making a sandwich is so hard, this can be bought from any supermarket and chuck in a piece of fruit or other snack and that's a meal deal

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/10/2018 15:15

So what time does he START his sport activity?

It's not generally a great idea to play sport of most kinds on a full stomach, so he probably doesn't want to eat immediately prior to his activity. And if lunchtime occurs in the middle of his activity, then how is his mother to blame for him not eating?

At 10, he should be able to put a sandwich together for himself if he has the time and the means (and the inclination!) to eat in a break, or something.

Having said that, whether he ate just prior to his activity, or in his break, he's TEN - they become starving at the drop of a hat after physical exertion! (I have a DS of 10 too).

So I agree with not feeding him on fast food just because he thinks he's faint from hunger - tell him to pack a sandwich and a banana or something next week, so he has something to eat as soon as he's finished, or even in his break time.

Now, if his activity starts at 2:30 and his mum just CBA to feed him at 12.30/1, that's a different story. But he's still old enough to make a sandwich for himself, and forage in the fridge/kitchen.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 13/10/2018 15:15

Loads of kids have groups/sports etc at the weekend that means that they're not sitting at a table having lunch at lunchtime.

They get bananas, a sandwich, nuts, cereal bars, whatever on the way home/to another activity. Then dinner is slightly later.

This is just completely normal, family stuff, isn't it?

Starlight345 · 13/10/2018 15:17

If he has been doing sports all afternoon he will be starving. Yes pop him a sandwich in car and fruit.
Maybe mum does give him a sandwich but just doesn’t feel able to say can’t wait till 5-6 for tea

RedTriangle · 13/10/2018 15:18

This is the biggest non-issue ever. You are being overly rigid about what and when the child should eat.

If he’s hungry just give him some fruit or a sandwich or whatever to keep him happy until the next meal time.

My own children will say they are hungry all day so I just let them eat healthy snacks and they always eat healthy dinners too.

theworldistoosmall · 13/10/2018 15:19

Oh and at 10, ds used to come out of school starving even though he had eaten all of his lunch. Occasionally comes home now at 13 from school starving even though he's eaten all his lunch. Usually around the time of another growth spurt or if they've had pe all afternoon. He sorts himself out a snack, same with when he was 10, and still eats dinner at the normal time.

NoSquirrels · 13/10/2018 15:24

Depends when his sports starts, surely?

Tell him to pack himself a sandwich and a banana.

Twillow · 13/10/2018 15:26

He can't do sport on a full stomach, so perhaps he has an earlier snack. Why do you expect his mum to pack for him if you're picking him up just take something for him!

brizzledrizzle · 13/10/2018 15:38

If you are collecting him from his sports session then his lunch is your responsibility unless all of the children at sports stop for a packed lunch and your DSC hasn't had lunch because his mother didn't send him with one.

Dhapeer · 13/10/2018 15:43

Surely he will have eaten before this event? Early breakfast/lunch or late breakfast?

Orlande · 13/10/2018 15:44

No need to be rigid about mealtimes at the weekend, especially with a 10 year old. Just bring him a sandwich.

SoyDora · 13/10/2018 15:45

Take him sandwich and a banana when you pick him up? Doesn’t need to be a big issue, surely? He’s probably not particularly hungry before he goes. Even if he did eat before his activity he’d probably be hungry again afterwards.

Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 15:46

Depends on the sport.

I used to give DC a lovingly prepared hand made breakfast before sports practice.

Until the coach nodded to the corner when I picked DC up and said “I see you made X pancakes for breakfast”

They’d thrown them up.

Eating after might be sensible.

Rebecca36 · 13/10/2018 15:58

Why can you not have a snack lunch, give him a snack, like a sandwich, when he gets home and all of you have a main meal early evening? Would make sense to me and it's nice to sit around early evening over a meal, or have it on trays (if you want to watch Strictly). It's only one day a week and wouldn't hurt for you to be less set in your ways.

Grilledaubergines · 13/10/2018 16:40

If mealtimes are very fixed then I guess it is late. At the weekend we eat so irregularly I barely remember what I’m meant to be making and for what part of the day! TOday, the kids ate breakfast at 1.15. They’re just muttering about wanting lunch now, so I guess dinner will be around 8, which is fairly usual during the week anyway. No one died from a couple of hours’ hunger.

Johnnyfinland · 13/10/2018 16:44

Why do mealtimes have to be so rigid? For very young kids yes I get it, but as they get older and more in control of their appetite and have the ability to knock up a sandwich or get a snack why can’t they just eat when hungry? If he’s not hungry when you cook dinner can you put a portion aside for him to microwave later?

diddl · 13/10/2018 16:57

What is he eating for lunch at 3.30/4pm that means he isn't ready for "teatime"?

What time is that, what is it & does it matter?

serbska · 13/10/2018 17:06

Take a chicken sandwich and a banana that he can eat in the car on the way back home.

And push dinner back by an hour.

This is not worth the drama.

LittleMe03 · 13/10/2018 17:17

You are BU if it's 12.30-3.30
You are not BU if it's 2.30-3.30

If the latter then yes he should be having lunch before going and still have plenty of time for food to settle. He would most likely still want a snack when finishing thou but that shouldn't spoil his dinner?

Has DH spoke to mum to clarify what he actually has to eat?

I don't know why you feel you have to feed him immediately with fast food it sounds like a recurring weekly thing so surely you know by now he will be hungry?

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