To think my child doesn't have sensory processing disorder?

[gollygoodnessgraciousme]

DH's friend was round this morning. He pointed at DD (nearly 3) and said "look what she's doing, she's got sensory processing disorder". We questioned him and he meant because she was kind of holding her index and middle finger together on one hand. Apparently his DD does that and she has SPD. He said "that'll be why she's such hard work". She is hard work, like most energetic two year olds but I've just had a Google and she has literally non of the other 'symptoms'.

Aibu to think that he was talking a load of tosh and just projecting? And to think that he was really rude?

You realise none of us can answer truthfully given you’ve provided zero information? If you want someone to vent to, talk to real life friends.

Well I've said she has none of the other traits that Dr Google describe?!

Why is the first post always singularly unhelpful and rude? Is t some sort of rule?

OP on the basis of what you’ve told us I would agree with you, unless you have other concerns you’ve not highlighted.

Projecting and rude. Sometimes I think people want to see disorders in other's children where there are none to make them feel better about their own child's issues.

I thought most 2 year olds were hard work?

My dd has a sensory processing disorder. She's 12 and I've never noticed her doing anything with her fingers.

this is useful

I have sensory processing disorder (diagnosed aspergers) and I do the thumb/finger thing. I rub them together and its one of my main stims.
That as a behaviour on its own is not indicative of anything though.

What are her other behaviours?

this one is better

Ds has spd, can’t say I have ever noticed that with his fingers.

Even so you can’t diagnose someone based on one possible trait. You certainly can’t make a diagnosis based on being a parent of a child who does have it!

As you have said you have no concerns then I would just ignore and forget about it

Thanks for the helpful replies. I've had a look at those links and I really can't say she has any of the traits mentioned (not to one extreme or the other anyway). She is not sensitive to touch/sound/light etc. She eats well, plays well alone and with others, sleeps well.

And yes, in my experience most two year olds are hard work. If some of you had come on and said oh yes that is the main symptom, I'd get her looked at, then I'd be giving it more thought but from what I've read to far that finger thing isn't really mentioned and she doesn't have any other traits!

Sounds like she is fine to me. You would definitely be noticing something other than holding her fingers together.

@CinnaMessala what other information can the OP realistically provide given they looked up the traits of SPD and have none of them apart from someone commenting on their ... Fingers?!

I’ve found that some parents of children with sen often latch onto ANY shared traits your child has with theirs and make a diagnosis

@CinnaMessala Do you need a wee nap?

Apparently his DD does that and she has SPD. He said "that'll be why she's such hard work".

He said that about your kid?

So he’s diagnosed her. Fine. What’s his excuse for being a cheeky bastard?

Why is the first post always singularly unhelpful and rude? Is t some sort of rule?

Yeah, it’s in Site Stuff.

He's probably having a hard time coming to term with his child's diagnosis. It's rude to diagnose anyonhr with anything because, well, unless you are their doctors it's none of your business. But try not to get worked up about it. I'm sure that he didn't do it to wind you up or anything like that. Re the fingers I do the fingers thing and always have done. Nothing medically causing it. I just like to fidget and I like doing it with my fivers because I get more if a sensory input that way.

@SunflowerSally, no I don’t.

Projecting massively. I have a sensory processing disorder and I DON'T do that with my fingers. You really can't diagnose something like that based on one tiny trait.
Don't let it worry you though, he was probably just hoping to be able to connect.

Also sensory processing disorder does not equal hard work

Think I'll be kind and assume he was just trying to reach out and start a conversation about his DD. Just didn't go about it very well! I will keep it at the very back of my mind for if anything else crops up with DD.

Gosh I’ve just read the description and some of it fits my 6 year old 😢 How much has to fit to be worrying?

Lots of people are more sensitive to noise or texture etc. Piblob without it being an issue for them so I suppose it depends on how much it affects your 6 years old's and your life.
My dd was a difficult toddler because of her sensory issues. She never wanted to be dressed, have a bath or brush her hair. Getting her out of the house was a struggle.
She found certain noises unbearable.
She is secondary school age now and while she still has her sensitivities she and I cope much better with it.
She did two courses of Play Therapy which helped massively. Without it I don't think she could have gone to school.
What areas does your dc struggle with?

Well if that’s all she does then I wouldn’t be worried. Ds has spd and doesn’t rub his fingers together

I think it’s pretty shitty for people to say that parents who’s children have disabilities try and dx others to make themselvrs feel better . We are probably more aware of traits and likely to notice them but dx other children isn’t going to make us feel any better

Sen is a totally different thing to having a diagnosis of spd or asd though

This booklet explains a lot about the behaviour that sensory issues generate.
www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?v=201507131117

Haven’t looked at the list since last night but she struggles with her teeth being brushed massively. Doesn’t like her hair being brushed but is better with that. Hates the seams of socks and tights and gets very ‘tantrumy’ about this. She hates loud noises. She loves winding her brother up and doesn’t stop when asked. She hits out at us. She’s ok with food tho and doing well at school. She’s good in social situations and has friends and maintains friendships. She’s very well behaved at school and atfriends houses. It’s just at home she’s like this. I’m hoping it’s a parenting / or 6 year old thing but sometimes I do worry.