To be annoyed that the only time dh shows any concern for cleaning/ tidying is when his parents are coming to stay?!

[NormaSnorks]

We both work, and mostly share the household stuff, have a cleaner once a week etc.

But it's always the same - about two days before his parents come to stay (rarely - only about twice a year, if that) he goes into a fit of activity and starts almost ordering me around.. "Can you do X" "Y needs to be done before Saturday" and then also embarks on the most ridiculously low priority activities - usually involving a power tool of some sort...

This morning he has been hanging pictures, screwing bookcases to walls and is now shampooing the carpets (with our Vax). (WHY??) Meanwhile he is barking at me about all the other things he could more usefully be helping me with - tidying up toys/ moving piles of laundry/ re-making beds/ shopping for food...

Can't quite put my finger on what pisses me off more:
the fact that:

• he's doing non-essential jobs (IMO)
• he's implying I am a domestic slattern
• that what's good for out family evry day clearly isn't good enough for his parents?

or when mates are due
oh yes have nocited here

This is completely normal. Not good, but normal.

I think it reinforces the idea in my mind that he cares more about what his mother thinks than what I think?

wow do they all go to the same school of priority setting?

Mine goes on about the simplest of things but will happily step over the obstical course that is the pile of kids toys.

Happens all the time here

He dumps his shit everywhere and piles stuff in the spare room for putting in the attic "when I get a moment" but unless it his family coming it stays where it is

Unless he has a brainstorm and clears stuff away, happens about twice a year. He then makes me feel guilty for not doing it earlier

His stuff lives everywhere - under the spare bed, under our bed, cupboard under the stairs, the shed, storage everywhere. He then tells me I have too much stuff and I need to put it away somewhere or get rid of it (erm, I would but YOU HAVE ALL THE CUPBOARD SPACE) grrrrrrr

Earlier on, I sarkily remarked "there are things that need to be done that don't involve a tool and electricity y' know..."

This was after he 'asked' me to clear all the toys off DS2's floor so he could shampoo the carpet (and why couldn't he do that?)

I don't think it's deliberate, it's just a "man and his mummy" thing (sweeping generalisation alert)

They don't notice stuff unless they start looking through their mother's eyes

The DIY stuff - is that to impress his Dad? DH does stuff like that then spends hours talking to his Dad about exactly how he did it

Men never pick up toys but they make enough fuss when they stand on one.

In our house it all gets cleared to our room to give that false sense of domestic calm. Then have to live with it for several months until I finally get round to clearing it all. Not great for middle of the night stumbles to dss or loo.

I'm jealous, my dh doesn't even run around when it is his family who are coming. Happy to live in a pig sty, that's him.

My dp tidies up after and around me. I'm sure one day he'll sit me on a high seat and tell me not to move, whilst he tidies up until the visitors get there. So long as he lets me have a book and a cup of tea from time to time .

Oh FFS ! Now he is SANDING, FILLING and PAINTING holes in the walls

I know I should be pleased he is doing these things, but I wish he would do them for US, and not for the imminent arrival of his parents

AND his father has just phoned to say "Shall I bring a suit? Will we be going anywhere nice?" i.e. "are you taking us out to dinner?"

AND his bl**dy sister has e-mailed with a list of times and places which are convenient for HER to meet us/ come for dinner/ have lunch etc. I should add that this sister is single, so has no responsibilities or restrictions on her time, unlike us who have two kids and my fairly elderly father to take account of.

I hate this.....

Was thinking the same thing about my dh edam!

Men!!! I can remember MIL coming to stay when I was 3 months post c section and had PND to boot...was still frantically getting used to being a mum, and DS had reflux so was pretty hard work and she was whinging to DH that I was messy and he would then say oh you'd better do X,Y,Z or she will moan to me about it...can still remember doing the housework one Sat am while they sat on sofa watching me and couldn't get DH to do it as MIL from M.east and so seeing her beloved son with a hoover may have induced heart attack!!

On second thoughts...maybe I should have let him hoover...

In our house, NormaSnorks, when MIL and FIL are coming to stay, it's me who has the nervous breakdown over general cleanliness of the place, (they've been retired for a few years and MIL is almost to the OCD level about cleanliness) while he cleans out cupboards and moves bedroom furniture around, (exposing even more tumbleweeds of cat hair than normally would be seen). He's generally ok about doing his bit around the house the rest of the time, so I can't really grumble on that score but yes - men do have a strange priority list when it comes to imminent paternal visits.

i generally make the most of it and add tasks.....

Bloody hell. You should invite your in-laws over more often - small sacrifice to pay for not having to do much cleaning!

My DH is terrible for doing nonessential things whilst leaving me to fume as I run about trying to do all the stuff that really needs done(whilst looking after a baby and a 3 year old). Grrr.

Same thing when we have people coming over for dinner, I'll ask him to set the table then come upstairs and discover that he has decided that this is the perfect time to treat the bloody thing for wormwood or something.

DH is pretty good at doing his share of the housework (I shouldn't complain, but I'm going to ), but only with some jobs. For example, he thinks the house is 'clean' if his stereo has been dusted, all my stuff is tidied away - his stuff is OK where it is - and he's hoovered (his speciality, and he does a very good job).
So I'll say "Can you not see the bathroom needs a REALLY good clean?" "Can you not see we can't get the lid on the washing basket?" "How about the fact the kitchen would get us shut down if we were a restaurant?"
Err..but he's hoovered. So the house is clean.

Beachcomber - that rings a bell as well. We'll have people coming round, and I just want things clean and tidy, but he'll decide this is the time he needs to put his DVDs in alphabetical order, and it needs doing NOW, cos that's the first thing guests notice when they walk through the door.
Not to mention the fact he'll then realise that one is missing and obsess until he works out where it's gone.