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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to resign from my job in a massive rage

74 replies

WoodBurnerBabe · 13/10/2018 08:33

I was asked to do a significant piece of work for a client. Time sensitive, lots of issues around it. I did the first bits and then arranged a meeting with two of the clients to discuss so far as I needed their input to complete.

Got to the meeting yesterday to find out my bosses boss and his boss (so way above my pay grade) had had a meeting with them on Thursday without telling me, and had totally trashed the work I was doing, said it wasn’t worth it, they needed to think again about what they wanted and that it wasn’t feasible to offer what they needed.

So I turn up yesterday with my study showing how it would be done, what the next steps were and some plans of the site to show how it could work operationally (which was what I wanted to check that I had understood their operational needs before I went any further). I looked like a Total. Fucking. Idiot. The client was bemused, and then a bit angry, and although I got some good input for the project going forward, I have no idea what to do now.

AIBU to go in on Monday and tell them all to fuck off and and take their poxy job with them. This was supposed to be my first experience of project management, moving sideways from my normal skill set (there is a big overlap, I’ve just not done specifically PM before), supposed to be lots of support so I get it right and then hopefully do more. The need for my skill set is diminishing so this was supposed to be me “reskilling” to stay relevant to the business as it develops.

I’m alternating between tears and raging. Although I accept I might be being unreasonable.

OP posts:

Mrsmadevans · 13/10/2018 09:03

x posted with your rage control measures
Good luck op

RadioDorothy · 13/10/2018 09:03

Blimey Woodburner, we must work for the same company.

You must be mad as all hell, but calm down. Its not your fault, YOU don't look bad (refer to my recent thread Mistakes made when stressed at work, where it is definitely my fault).

Cool off and say your piece on Monday, when they should be apologising to you.

BrokenWing · 13/10/2018 09:07

Did you get approval from your boss to go out and meet with the client and for the content of what you were discussing with/presenting to them? If yes then he must be completely in the dark too and even more raging.

Dollymixture22 · 13/10/2018 09:09

So your bosses have very poor communication and management skills and this has now been highlighted to the client.

They also have not managed this project correctly in that it appears you are doing the work, but apparently so are they in some parallel work stream that you are not aware off.

Get your rage out over the weekend. Go in on Monday and say you are keen to get feedback and to clarify the lines of communication with the client. No blame, no accusations. The keep going. Get the broader skill set under your belt before you move on

SinkGirl · 13/10/2018 09:10

You didn’t look like an idiot. They did. If anything, you look good because they said it wasn’t possible and you’re demonstrating that it is.

Had the upper level bosses seen the work you’re doing? Had they discussed this with you or your boss at all? This is how you lose clients, they need to watch themselves.

TheHauntedFishtank · 13/10/2018 09:11

Will there be options for you to move on to a slightly less batshit workplace once you’re retrained? If there are then personally I would focus on that, particularly as it sounds like this kind of thing isn’t a one-off.

MrsNacho · 13/10/2018 09:11

@seniorschoolmum made excellent suggestion.

Your bosses have made themselves look like idiots. Why on earth didn't they speak to you in the first place.

filka · 13/10/2018 09:12

IMO it's always easier to find a job if you are already in one - so the person who will suffer most if you quit in a hissy fit is yourself.

If the situation is not recoverable then you can start looking for another job, but stay employed whilst doing so. But also remember that you don't have that project management experience yet...

WitsEnding · 13/10/2018 09:12

Im old and cynical but - If the need for your skill set is diminishing, are they trying to push you out without paying redundancy? Don't let it happen.

BlueJava · 13/10/2018 09:20

I appreciate you are angry and frustrated, the failing seems to be with comms between upper management and others. However, I think you sound very unprofessional. Why resign in a rage anyway? You won't hurt anyone but yourself in the longer term. Take your time, don't rant, it makes you look silly. Plan what you want to do next, update your CV, see how it goes... and then make your move in a calm and measured way.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 13/10/2018 09:27

The senior management have made themselves and the company look bad. If I were the client I’d be reconsidering working with this company. You actually come out of it looking good but it wouldn’t matter how good you were, I’d be seriously concerned about your company’s ability to deliver. DH has been in a very similar position very recently, I used to work there with him too, so know exactly how the senior management operate (or don’t). As it’s a ten year contract for something in the hundreds of millions, his company are extremely fortunate that he has managed to turn it round and convince the client (who have known him for thirty years) to stay with them and it was a mere miscommunication rather sheer incompetence. Trouble is I don’t think companies like this ever improve really so may be you should consider your options. Although you’re only just re-skilling sounds like you know what you’re doing.

Dhapeer · 13/10/2018 09:29

Sound like the idiots I work for. It's them and us. I'm looking to move too. Don't resign in a rage. Just start actively looking and move when you've a new job. Hopefully sooner rather than later. But if it isn't soon, at least you've still got a salary coming in......

Original poster

WoodBurnerBabe · 13/10/2018 09:29

Just about to head out - the need for my skills is diminishing where I am because they are changing direction. In the wider market, there is a definite need so a move should be possible. I wanted to stay where I was though. We’ll see. Rage diminishing. Thanks x

OP posts:

eddielizzard · 13/10/2018 09:31

Never put in writing something that makes your boss' boss' boss look stupid. Meet them face to face on Monday and tell them your solution. It's likely that they weren't aware of the details of your plan. It points to very bad communication on their part, but throwing your toys out the cot won't benefit you. On the basis of what they say, decide whether to resign.

CottonSock · 13/10/2018 09:32

Shit rolls downhill, I was told on my early days in a company like this. Your bosses look like idiots, get rid of the range and has manager responded to your email?

mundungus · 13/10/2018 09:34

Definitely do what seniorschoolmum suggests. I’d be raging too but the truth is that your boss’s boss really won’t care about how this has made you look and feel. They will care if you act unprofessionally (if understandably) in response.

fuzzyduck1 · 13/10/2018 09:40

Why are you bothering? If the higher management want to make there firm look like a shambles then let them. Do you aspire to be in there job in the years to come?
Do you want to be doing this to other people in years to come?
Don’t quit that would be stupid but also don’t put yourself out any more there’s no point. All you’ll do is upset yourself.
Do what they ask when you are asked that’s it no point in doing more unless your working for yourself.

LellyMcKelly · 13/10/2018 09:43

On Monday, meet your boss and maybe boss’ boss and get their side of the story. It may be that the client interpreted what they said incorrectly. For example, he may be paying peanuts and you’re delivering a Rolls Royce service so they’re trying to rein it in a bit. If it is as the client says, then you need to sit down with them and develop a recovery plan to put to the client. There is clearly poor communications amongst your senior managers and they should never have let you go to see the client without telling you telling you about the previous meeting. It makes me wonder if something is happening above your paygrade - they may be trying to ditch the client or squeeze more money out of them. Either way, nobody told you that your work wasn’t good enough and if it wasn’t, then they should have let you know sooner, and certainly not through the client.

So, that’s a long way of saying you haven’t done anything wrong. Wait until Monday when you can find out their version of the truth and work with them to find a way forward. Be positive and supporting and approach it from the perspective of helping the company to deliver what it promised.

wonderandwander · 13/10/2018 09:47

OP
I strongly suspect you’ll be doing them a favour.

If I were you I’d handle this as best as I can. As professionally and emotionally detached as possible.

BewareOfDragons · 13/10/2018 10:06

Sorry this has happened, OP. I hope your meeting with your boss goes well on Monday. Surely hell back you up re the disgraceful way this has been handled by the higher ups. They've made the company look bad, not you!

Hollycatberry · 13/10/2018 10:06

Hi OP, I can sympathise with the anger and frustration of a job where senior management seem hell bent on taking terrible decisions and don’t communicate anything and as PPs say the shit rolls down hill.

The anger will come from the fact you were put in a awkward position, the fact you weren’t informed about that meeting - it’s a lack of respect to the work you’ve been doing and it’s no wonder you feel angry.

it’s fine to feel angry but don’t let that cloud your judgement or do anything rash. It’s good you’ve got the weekend to cool off. Run or write down your frustrations to get it out. Then decide your next move.
If you meet with your manager, be calm and factual and keep emotion out of it. Just state why you were frustrated and ask to understand why you weren’t told about the meeting. The response will help you decide where you go from here next.

If you decide it’s time to move onto a new role, I think you’ll be less bothered by the crap that happens because you’ll know you’ll be moving on. Maybe focus on what you can get out of this job for now to put on your CV to get another role.

It’s not worth working anywhere in the long term that makes you feel like this and will impact your confidence and happiness over time. But I wouldn’t advice resigning without another job because you’ll be making yourself worse off and there’s no point disadvantaging yourself.

emmeyebea · 13/10/2018 10:08

Allow your boss to be enraged on your behalf. He seems to be supportive and happy with your work, and the big bosses didn't inform him either, so let him step in and speak to them for you.

And he can also point out that their actions have made your company look like a bunch of idiots in front of an important customer.

BolleauxtoBankers · 13/10/2018 10:10

The senior management is either extremely incompetent, or has reassessed their terms of business with the client, or, possibly, wants to be rid of you. From your description, I'd go for incompetent as otherwise, why wash your dirty internal linen in public like that?

Tinkobell · 13/10/2018 10:13

Grow up OP. It's clearly a high stakes piece of work otherwise it probably wouldn't have senior management crawling all over it. It sounds like you are actually building experience; that's fine but a business can't screw up big projects in order to just allow people complete free reign. To me, you sound like you have a bit of subordination issue. Get over it and think of better ways in the future of saving face when your management do wade in.
If you stomp in and spit your dummy...you'll just loose respect. Respect comes from track record and proven experience ..,.sounds like you have neither just yet.

BolleauxtoBankers · 13/10/2018 10:18

Tinkobell - I disagree, the OP is clearly venting her frustration here and feeling her way forward, with no intention of spitting the dummy until she decides it suits her. Senior management is not crawling all over it if they can't be arsed to communicate their misgivings to her about her work before going to the client and telling them what she has done can't be done. They are the ones who look incompetent and unprofessional, not her.

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