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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snoring is ruining my relationship

10 replies

RedPandaMama · 13/10/2018 01:38

AIBU?

Been with DP 3 years. We have a 1 year old. Love him to bits and bar a few irritating habits we get along really well.

He's always snored, a mixture of having a hiatus hernia and being a bit overweight, we think. It never used to bother me before we had DD but now I'm a much lighter sleeper and it wakes me up. Constantly.

I've not been able to fall asleep yet because his snoring is SO bad. DD has woken up 4 times when he's done a particularly loud snore. She's a ridiculously loud sleeper and keeps getting woken up by him, and then I have to go in and settle her. She's screaming right now and I just can't go in again, I'm so tired.

I've just now kicked him out and sent him to the sofa downstairs. We only have 2 bedrooms so every night one of us ends up on the sofa. We tend to alternate.

We're only in our 20s and I find the idea that we can never share a bed for the night really depressing. I'm finding it genuinely really stressful, he's making me feel bad every night saying 'why dont you try sleeping upstairs tonight, I miss you' or 'the sofa really isn't comfy' the nights he's down there.

I don't really know what to do about it. Surely other people have had a similar problem and I'm hoping someone has advice or a link to some bloody good earplugs!

OP posts:
Original poster
RedPandaMama · 13/10/2018 01:40

Sorry meant to say she's a ridiculously light sleeper.

I guess my AIBU is am I being overly sensitive as this is really my problem and I signed up for this and I'm the one who has changed my mind about the snoring... Or changed what I can cope with when trying to sleep at least.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/10/2018 01:47

Your partner needs to see the gp. It is totally unfair that his snoring is keeping you awake. How overweight is he? Weight loss might solve this problem. He needs to take this seriously and get it sorted.

EthelHornsby · 13/10/2018 02:09

It sounds like sleep apnoea - he needs to see the GP (and lose weight) as it is serious and can lead to other serious health issues

OutComeTheWolves · 13/10/2018 02:09

It's not your problem- you need to make it his problem. I had this for years before dh bothered to do something about it. It's a fucking nightmare and you have my sympathy but fuck alternating nights on the sofa it's not your fault he snores so you shouldn't be the one going downstairs he should be.

It took me ages to reach this conclusion but once I did, I applied it with gusto! It didn't take too long after I stopped sharing the inconvenience with my dh that he actually decided to see a doctor and start losing a bit of weight.

The problem I found was dh thought his snoring was funny & didn't realise what an absolute pain night after night of broken sleep can be- so I had to make sure he was as inconvenienced as possible. TBH though it still aggrieves me that just knowing it was disrupting my sleep wasn't enough for him.

fuzzyduck1 · 13/10/2018 11:23

I know how you feel my partener snores like a trooper she even woke me up last night while we were watching a film!

Weenurse · 13/10/2018 22:28

Losing weight helps.
As do snore nasal strips for some people.
Others who snore when only on their backs, use the tennis ball sewn it to the PJ’s trick. Sew a tennis ball into the middle of the PJ’s in the back. This will wake the snorer when they roll onto their back in their sleep.
I have also seen a collar earn at night around the neck that achieves a similar result.
There are mouth devices that help some.
Surgery is required for others, but it is very painful and not always successful.

Weenurse · 13/10/2018 22:29

Warn at night

Original poster
RedPandaMama · 13/10/2018 22:29

He's about 15 stone so could do with losing a few stone - so could I though.

It's definitely worse at the moment as we all have colds but it's honestly doing my head in. All he's done all day is moan that his back hurts because I made him sleep on the sofa but it was either that or no one gets any sleep because it was my night to get up in the night with the baby so needed to be upstairs.

OP posts:
Original poster
RedPandaMama · 13/10/2018 22:31

He has apparently tried nasal strips etc with past girlfriends who have hated his snoring and they didn't do anything, and it's not only on his back it's in literally any position. He tends to sleep on his side due to acid reflux caused by the HH and it's just as bad being on his side Sad

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/10/2018 22:44

He needs to see a gp. Unless he is very tall, he is obese and that is directly related to reflux and snoring.

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