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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To decline all future lunch invites from this friend of mine?

16 replies

kviddics · 12/10/2018 14:11

Bumped into an old friend a couple of months ago, and because her office is directly across the street from my house, we've been doing this thing where we'll meet up for lunch about once every fortnight. After today though, I'm starting to get seriously annoyed at some of her behaviour during our meetings.

For starters, she's a complete social media addict, constantly scrolling and texting throughout the entire meal. I'm okay with eating in silence, to be clear. It doesn't bother me one bit if she's on her phone because 60% of me is really just there for the food since I've got to eat anyway.

The problem is, she'll ask a question (I think she's the type that feels awkward when nobody's talking), get to scrolling, and then midway through I'll be asked to repeat everything I'd said because she is utter shite at multi-tasking on top of being (imo) bloody rude! I've requested for her to stop doing that in the past but it only worked for about 5 minutes tops so no luck there.

AIBU to decline all lunch invites from her in the future to save myself from that early-afternoon irritation?

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 12/10/2018 14:12

I’d send her a message on fb messenger/WhatsApp/Instagram during the next lunch to say that you’re going home. And n ver go again. YANBU.

sunnyshowers · 12/10/2018 14:13

i would cool off ...less is more

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 12/10/2018 14:13

Yanbu. She is being rude and it's impacting on your enjoyment of limited leisure time. I hate phone addicts who place themselves in social situations and then ignore people around them. Sit on your own if you can't be arsed to talk to people.

SchoolPanicTime · 12/10/2018 14:15

YANBU. Very rude and completely defeats the point of eating together.

Orangecake123 · 12/10/2018 14:36

YANBU.

Personally I wouldn't bother with her, save yourself the irritation.

Volant · 12/10/2018 14:44

Tell her you'll only meet up if she leaves the phone behind.

shearwater · 12/10/2018 14:45

I would be busy each time she asks.

BarbaraofSevillle · 12/10/2018 14:53

When she asks a question and then goes on her phone, stop talking and only start again when she stops looking at her phone and brings her attention back to you.

If she doesn't pay attention to you, send her a message via your preferred app and leave her to it.

Or find another place to have lunch on the days that she suggests so you're not at home when she asks.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/10/2018 15:07

Absolutely not being unreasonable, OP. I hate being asked to repeat things just because the person I was speaking to, wasn't listening. It's so rude.

Her time is not more important that yours. I wouldn't meet her for lunch again just go yourself and take a book.

Eilaianne · 12/10/2018 15:13

well, she's just downright rude and has no manners. i'm surprised she has any friends if she carries on like this.

you might as well go alone and enjoy a nice book!

Eilaianne · 12/10/2018 15:17

also to add - i would tell her why i wasn't up for meeting up again tbh

the reason she does it is either no one's called her out on it to the point where the rudeness is a big problem...or no one's been brave enough to.

if someone had been a bit more honest with her before, you may have had some actual company at lunchtimes...

RiverTam · 12/10/2018 15:18

Concises's solution is perfect! Do it!!

BackforGood · 12/10/2018 15:22

Of course YANBU.
I would just tell her straight that there is no point in meeting up as she doesn't want to chat and spends all her time on her phone.
Wouldn't 'be busy' or other faffing about.

diddl · 12/10/2018 15:55

I remember being out for a meal with a young (early 20s) relative & her parents.

She looked at the phone every time it demanded.

Then started to huff & eyeroll at it.

I'm screaming inside "switch the fucking thing off then"

Parents smiled indulgently & said not a word.

My teen hadn't taken hers as she thought it would be rude to.

EglantineP · 12/10/2018 15:59

I'm okay with eating in silence, to be clear. It doesn't bother me one bit if she's on her phone because 60% of me is really just there for the food since I've got to eat anyway.

But OP it clearly does bother you A LOT.

NoFucksImAQueen · 12/10/2018 17:06

no it bothers op that she is asked questions the friend doesn't bother to listen to and then asks her to repeat

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