Favourite Scots sayings?

[ChiaraRimini]

Following on from the pronunciation thread (it's Jay btw)
Expat Scot here. Get funny looks from the Sassenachs if I say any of these. Any others?

It's a sair fecht for hauf a loaf

Dinnae fash yerself

Here's tae us wha's like us. Gey few and they're a' deid.

I hardly know any of these!
A carry out is alcohol where I live, not takeaway food.

Planking something - hiding it

Well this is a' dain' a body a pow'r o' guid, readin'' a' these wirds ah dinnae get tae hear nae mair! Ah've bin way too long doon sooth. Ah tell, ye, ah've forgoat'n sae much, an' it's a' comin' back!

The village we live in still has Wednesday as a 'hauf shut day' a bank holiday is to some- 'a hauf shut day, aw day the day'

Mony a mickle maks a muckle.
He's as thick as mince.
Did sumbdy shite in yer kettle (ok its kevin bridges but i love it)
Bolt hen.
Blawin a hooley. Like today. Big time.

For those who ha' nae a scoobie about any of this, many years ago Stanley Baxter produced a great series of educational sketches called 'Parliamo Glasgow'

My mum's :"I'm hearing but not heeding"

Loving these, a real trip down memory lane!
Thick as mince is great.
So many Scots words are really evocative.

It's clatty. Clatty!!

Ha I love these!
I’ve lived in Scotland four years now and despite having a Scottish dad i’m still learning/hearing new phrases. ‘Clap the dog/cat’ confused me for a while as did the instruction to put ‘the door on the snib’ (To me it’s a latch - soft southerner here). I find it hilarious when I hear other parents in the playground say ‘do you want a shot on the chute?’ Very rapidly to their kids. Brilliant.
And the way every kind of coat is a jacket and every drink is juice!

I have definitely adopted some things mostly without realising. I love ‘dreich’ and ‘outwith’ which is so useful. I also find myself saying ‘will we....?’ Instead of ‘shall we.....? And ‘not just now’ and even ‘that needs washed’.

I am one of two English people in my office and we have to spell stuff out all the time, everyone except us says ‘Jai’

Oh also I was describing someone odious at a previous workplace to my friend who is from Larkhall and she said, 'oh she sounds like a Nippy Sweetie' (sp?) On explaining what this meant I couldn't help but think it was a perfect description!

Polis
Gallus
Gie it laldy
Blether
Skelped
Greetin
Peely Wally
Hoachin

Used to live in Glasgow and these make me nostalgic

Also, 'Gonnae no dae that?'

Grew up in Glasgow and we definitely said "clarty" - as in "Clarty Bella".
Oxters
Dreepying doon the wa'
Drookit craw
Clegg
Skelf
Pure hacket
Pure dead brilliant

Away and cuddle ma humph!

I totally forgot about that one til I saw it upthread. My granny used to say it.

"Grew up in Glasgow and we definitely said "clarty" - as in "Clarty Bella"."

I'm 25 minutes away and "clarty" would get you very funny looks at the least!

May a moose ne'er leave your meal poke with a tear in his ee

(Told to me by my half Scottish grandfather)

To be fair, I did my growing up in Glasgow some years ago and language does change :)

I love it when mil asks DD if she wants to "clasp the dug". DD starts a round of applause rather than stroking the dog, no matter how many times she hears it.

DH says clatty, usually as "that's clatty bouffin"
He uses a lot of the phrases on here, and while I'm good at deciphering most of them, every so often he says something that means absolutely nothing to me.

Lets see if this works, my absolute fave 🤣

Surely the only country in the world where pubic hair is a unit of measurement:

‘He wis a baws hair away’ meaning he just missed.

Your ain craw’s ey the whitest
Hod yer wheesht
Gae ma heid peace
Whits fur ye’ll no go by ye
Gae’s me the boak
Choob - idiot

West coast for me and i’m another vote for jai and clatty!

Miss loads of these, although the geordies also have a wicked turn of phrase, its like learning a whole new language.....

Ach away 'n shite
Fit like?
Yi feel gype
Heid like a bursht cooch (think this might be my all-time fave!)
Awa ben i' hoose
Awa for ma messages

Originally from the Moray area of Scotland but brought up in Peterhead - two VERY different dialects!!! Love to confuse some of my work colleagues by "launching" into broad "Scot"!!

If I'd a dug with a face lit yours I'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards

If we knew what was in front of us the canal would be full (this cheery little gem might be fairly specific to that part of North Glasgow that the Forth and Clyde canal runs through)

And my auntie's favourite, a reference to my granny's NHS issue armchair with the spring-like seat that she used to help her stand up, and the chance that any granwean giving sufficient smash might end up using it as an unconventional method of leaving the high flats (it's too funny to be an original, although who knows):
"pick yer windae, yer leavin"